[PART 25] ================================================ MindNet Journal - Vol. 1, No. 38b * [Part 2 of 3 parts] ================================================ V E R I C O M M / MindNet "Quid veritas est?" ================================================ Notes: The following is reproduced here with the permission of the author. Permission is given to reproduce and redistribute, for non-commercial purposes only, provided this information and the copy remain intact and unedited. The views and opinions expressed below are not necessarily the views and opinions of VERICOMM, MindNet, or the editors unless otherwise noted. Editor: Mike Coyle Associate Editors: Walter Bowart Alex Constantine Martin Cannon Assistant Editor: Rick Lawler Research: Darrell Bross ============================================ [Continued from part 1] But now imagine a little girl was sexually molested by her father and she tells this to her mother and mother says: "Good girls forget this and bad girls will be abducted by the..." -- the reader can insert here any figure little children are afraid of in his country. In Germany it is the "Schwarze Mann" (black man). If this happens the little girl will forget the event in many cases because the system of self-preservation "believes" that remembering will lead to talking about [the abuse] and talking about [it] will be associated with danger to life. The perpetrators know these mental mechanisms. If they want to implant a false memory they use the false memory to repress a dangerous memory. This is a memory which is perceived by the primitive self-preservation system as dangerous, of course. They have developed a language to coerce this system to trigger the retrieval of a false memory whenever a true memory -- the perpe- trators don't want the victim to remember -- is ascending into the consciousness of the victim. For the subconscious , believing the false memory means saving one's life. This is the REAL false memory syndrome. A girl for example who was sexually abused by her father and who is 'remembering' a nice childhood is suffering from the REAL false memory syndrome. Sometimes -- as in my case -- the victims are programmed to invent subconsciously false memories to repress the retrieval of the truth. Memories of a Victim Agonies of Uncertainty 90 percent of my memories concerning the mind control treatment I was subjected to has been released by my subconscious before I had read about it. I became fully aware of the fact that I have been the victim of mind control machinations in December 1994 during my Christmas vacation after a period of severe private and occupa- tional stress. But since 1976 I have been tormented by fragmented bits of memories and agonies of uncertainty whether I suffer from a kind of paranoia never described in any textbook of psychiatry or wether my memories are scattered splinters of a true story. I wasn't able to talk to anybody about it. However until December 1994 I was missing the key elements necessary to construct a frame of reference in which the fragments I have remembered so far make sense. In 1992 I found purely by chance a clue urgently needed to reveal the whole story in a book written by Paul Masson against Psychotherapy. He cited a text with a very strange title: "The Search for the Manchurian Candidate". John Marks' pioneering work induced a dialectical leap in my struggle to excavate the secrets buried in my subconscious. If we don't want to assume supernatural forces motivating me to stand this exhausting and apparently hopeless struggle I have only one explanation at hand that has something to do with Nietzsches notion of memory of pain. Pain leaves traces in the oldest parts of the human mind where they are transformed into regulating units of some very archaic programs of self-preservation. There is no possibility to extinct these programs. Although the memory of the painful events can be repressed or even dissociated, these archaic programs are still active night and day on a subconscious level -- breaking through symbolic layers in the conscious mind urging a man interested in psychology like me to interpret them. Traumatic pain can motivate to dissociate and forget the traumatic experience, but this motivation is never perfect. That's one of the reasons why trauma-based mind control has to be refreshed from time to time. John Marks' book was an effective "memory expanding drug", nevertheless it wasn't capable to supply me with Ariadne's thread , helping me to find my way through the mental labyrinth elaborately laid out by the mind controllers in order to hamper me running around, crying out the plain truth: Some born ass-holes on the payroll of some intelligence agency of a 'democratic' state under the rule of 'law' have raped my mind, breaking human rights, acting like KZ-doctors. The First Years As far as I know my father was a Canadian soldier who was station- ed in Werl, West Germany after world war II. When I was 20 I met a woman who claimed to be my biological mother. From her I heard for the first time that my parents whom I thought to be my progenitors were de facto my step-parents. She told me that my father was a native Canadian from one of the Six Nations of the Iroquois. My pre- sumed mother asserted that he were a Seneca. When I look in a mirror I don't regard as true being an "Indian" - - whenever I visit Italy the people there think me to be an Italian, especially a man from lovely Sicily. Only some weeks after I was born in 1951 my biological mother gave me to an orphanage in Luenen, West Germany, where she lived. Werl is not far away from Luenen. I have only one memory of my time in this facility and I am not sure whether it is only an imagination or reality. It has something to do with a "doctor" whom I feared more than the devil. His frequent examinations were extremely painful. They probably took place when I was four years old. Some electrodes were fastened on my hands and I received shocks for wrong answers in discriminating tasks. He showed me cards with pictures and sometimes after having learned the "correct" answer, "right" and "wrong" were changed and I received shocks for answers with which I remained unshocked before. But I can't verify this memory. I assign to them only a subjective probability of .7. If this really happened however, there is every reason to believe that they started to 'mind control' me in early infancy. These examinations went on until I was adopted by a German couple when I was nearly five years old. Now I know that their motives to adopt me weren't honorable at all. Both were simple-minded NAZIS and SECRETLY REMAINED TO BE NAZIS. My step-father was involved in the EXECUTION OF JEWS during the war. After the war he feared to be taken to court because of his evil deeds, and -- being really simple-minded -- my step- parents thought if they would adopt an offspring of the victors this might be assessed by the judges as "mildernde Umstaende" (mitigating circum- stances). But it was a waste of effort: My step-father was never charged. My step-parents and especially my step-mother were extremely sadistic. My childhood was an endless chain of physical ill-treatments and sexual abuses. The consequence was a tendency to develop a Multiple Person- ality Disorder (MPD) and so I was well-prepared for the purposes of the mind controllers. Bavaria and Vietnam When I was sixteen my step-parents allowed me to hitchhike with a school friend through Germany during my holidays. In Aschaffenburg (Bavaria) a military car stopped in front of us and the soldiers claimed that something has happened to my parents and that I should enter their car because they wanted to ride me to their barracks. The soldiers wore the uniforms of the US Army and spoke American. I was so confused that I obeyed them, my friend accompanied me. They involved me in a friendly conversation and they made me believe to concur with [them] that the Vietnam war was unjust. After arriving at the barracks my friend was told to wait for me in a waiting room while I was brought to an interrogation room, and now the atmosphere changed at once. They accused me to be an American soldier who has deserted. And as a counter-move to this accusation I blamed them [of] brainwashing Vietcong and their own soldiers in the Vietnam war. Only God knows how I could know this. What happened then I have totally forgotten. What I have written down about the Aschaffenburg incident came into my mind in December 1994. Until then I had not the slightest memory that this has happened. But like every possible mind control incident before 1972 this may be pure imagination and has an assigned sub- jective probability of .7. Psychic Powers From now on every element of my story has something to do with psychic abilities. To avoid misconceptions I have to make clear that I don't believe to have these faculties. But my story doesn't make sense without assuming that the mind controllers either believed me to be a clairvoyant or they used this as a hypno- programmed cover story to assure that I would make a laughing stock of myself in the case of remembering mind control and than bubbling out that I was a psychic spy of the CIA, the Mossad or the BND/VS (BND = Bundesnachrichtendienst / VS = Verfassungs- schutz : German intelligence agencies). A further benefit of such [a] kind of 'cover' story would be to make responsible politicians be- lieving that they had to torture and mind control me in the name of national security. But if I would have psychic faculties I would win in the lottery every week and then I would be so rich [as] to chase them to hell -- with the best lawyers -- where they belong. By the way, most of the phenomena I have experienced, which seem to be paranormal at a quick glance, could be explained -- going beyond the surface -- without parapsychological assumptions. And of course I have predicted hundreds of events or developments that never came true. But probably the controllers had spent too much money in psychic research to be all too skeptical. In my eyes the following explanation seems to be the most appropriate: Psychopaths tend to paranoidal and magical thinking. Psychopaths feel attracted by secret services. Psychopaths in secret services are trying to convince responsible politicians that their paranoia and their magical thinking are a reflection of pure reality. In the 70's western secret services persuaded politicians to give them very much money for psychic research. Their argument was that the Soviets did the same and that they were much more successful using psychic powers for military purposes than the free world. The western "psychic warriors" had a very good time spending this money. But after a while the politicians were asking them for results and proofs. Nothing easier than this. The secret service psychopaths programmed some victims like me to play the clairvoyants. That's all. I concede that -- independently of any secret service machinations -- I was involved in phenomena for several times which suggest the psi hypothesis as the most appropriate explanation. But this pheno- mena can't be interpreted as the results of my personal psychic abilities. If they really have to be explained as psychic, then I was a passive medium in a psychic field. In 1970 I was invited to a party that took place in the house of a friend of a friend of mine whom I didn't know before. The host's parents where absent, but his elder brother was there, too. After a while I found myself involved in a conversation with the host and only the devil knows why I asked him whether his father were a general. He denied this laughingly and claimed that his father was a businessman. Then I probably committed one of the worst mistakes of my life. "And I thought", I commented, "that your father was a spy!" I thought this to be a silly joke, but in the corners of my eyes I saw the elder brother turning pale. Although I remember the name of these people you will understand [why] I don't unmask them now. By the way: If my memories don't deceive me the elder brother is now one of the leading political television journalists in GERMANY. (Note" Could the 'father' have been one of the Nazi generals who later took refuge within the International Nazi 'corporate' empire? Un- fortunately many of the allies were satisfied with the fact that the Nazi military machine was dismantled -- however they completely forgot about the corporations which 'fed' the military machine and supplied the Nazi's with the materials which ultimately played a part in the deaths of the over 50,000,000 people on all sides who died during the Second World War. - Wol.) In 1971 I became severely drug-addicted. Especially, I took far too much LSD. After being informed by the woman who claimed to be my mother that I am an adopted child the floodgates of my subconscious opened and I became aware of my history of being misused and mistreated. I accused my step-mother of having me sexually abused and my step-father of having executed Jews during the war in Russia. From now on the cold war had a new battle-field: our living room. At the latest [in this time] my step- father started to cooperate with representatives of the SCNS. I had left school and I never stayed in a job for long. We had domestic quarrels day after day and only hell knows why I accused in one of these quarrels one of the leading staff members of one of the leading German politicians to be a Stasi spy (don't ask for the names). Some years later this man was unmasked. (Stasi is the abbreviation for "Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit", Department of National Security of the former German Democratic Republic). This "insight" mustn't be explained by psychic powers, too. I came to this right conclusion through a wrong assumption. The spy had the same name as a Swiss anarchist leader of the 19th century. And so I thought the Stasi were joking, being sure that the capitalists were ignorant of the history of the labour movement. I was very young and naive, then. Later I learned that the Stasi like any other satanic cult of national security had absolutely no sense of humor. It was the real name of this spy, a French Huguenot name. One day I became acquainted with a young man who invited me to his apartment in order to smoke hashish together. He smuggled a trance drug in a glass of coke which I sipped while smoking. When I had reached a deep hypnotic state two other men came out of another room where they had hidden themselves. They tortured me with a stun gun and programmed me to perform a task. 1971 was the time where the number of absolutely clueless anti- drug-warriors were legion. I attended an event organized by one of these warriors which should inform people about the dangers of drug use. These information was not only false, it was ridiculous. As a young acid head with anarchistic ideas I made a flaming plea for controlled LSD use to heel mankind. Without knowing too much about them I declared myself to the ideas of the "Sozialistisches Patienten-Kollektiv" (SPK). I really had nothing to do with them; I only had read a short statement which I found interesting. After years I learned that this group of mentally ill people were terrorists who joined the Red Army Faction (RAF) after the suppression of the SPK. What I didn't know was that the SCNS were keeping an eye on me. And what I didn't know, too, was that this was part 1 of the task I had been programmed to manage some weeks before. Psychiatry At the end of 1971 my desolate emotional condition had reached a climax and I decided to go to a psychiatrist. My step-parents knew what I had decided to do. At the day of the consultation my step-mother prepared a cup of tea for me and urged me to drink it before leaving. She had never done things like this before. This was a situation I have experienced so often when in contact with the SCNS. Although I am aware of the danger I am unable to translate this awareness into action. I "knew" that the tea was drugged but I drank it. And how it was drugged. I had to wait in the doctor's waiting room until they could be sure that the drug was working. Then I had to enter the consultation room and I recognized that the doctor was not the doctor I knew. The psychiatrist I had expected was tall and thin, this one was small and fat. But he was a highly skilled SCNS-doctor who coerced me into a deep hypnotic trance so easily that I can't think about his black art without admiration. He employed classical mind control without all that electronic poppycock they use nowadays. This appraisal has convinced some readers that I'm still in contact with the perpetrators. I'm not! This is black humor. He claimed that I was a dangerous terrorist, a member of the "Sozialistisches Patienten-Kollektiv". First I denied this but then I proclaimed a revolutionary message from the leader of this group. This message stated that the Sozialistisches Patienten-Kollektiv were going to produce zombies in order to fight psychiatry. This was part 2 of the task which I had been programmed to excel in some weeks before. So they had the "justification" [that was] needed to mind control me. The next scene I remember, I found myself interned in a mental hospital in... (don't expect me to tell you the name of the German university to which this hospital belonged). From now on the MC- Treatment was disguised as psychiatric therapy. I will not say that psychiatric treatment wasn't necessary for me at this time... it really was. But what I... was mind control. Nevertheless it started very agreeable, [at] first. They employed the soft methods. A nice fatherly psychiatrist succeeded in making me gain confidence in him and allowing him to find out more about me than I knew myself. After this diagnostic phase was finished they used ESB, Camerons depatterning treatment with prolonged sleep and psychic driving and Tiens electrolytic therapy. They showed me pictures of terrorists and than an averse reaction was induced by ESP. They coagulated parts of my nucleus amygdala in order to produce obedience. And they performed experiments to test my "psychic powers". They came obviously to the conclusion that these abilities were real. They gave me a list with code names of politicians and business men used by German terrorists and asked me to tell them what these code names mean. In more than one case this task was so ridiculously easy that I really wonder why they needed this effort to make me to do the job. One of this code names -- for example -- was "Margarine" (margarine). I asked them to give me a list of trade names of margarines being on the market. One of the trade names was "SB". This was an abbreviation for "Sonnenblume" (sunflower). But an intuition told me that this might be the initials of a potential target of a terrorist assassination. And in- deed there was a very important man with these initials. I informed them of my suspicion. Although they believed me, that this man was in danger, he was assassinated some years later. They wanted me to work as an undercover agent infiltrating German terrorist groups. I refused that. Maybe I succeeded to convince them that I wasn`t the right man for this task. They never tried it again. Instead they used me from now on as their psychic milk cow. But they coerced me to try to talk round a young German terrorist to accept brainwashing and to work afterwards as an undercover agent for them. I won't give you his name. He is dead now. The trials concerning the unclear circumstances of his death lasted years. The case remained unclear until now. After this treatment they brought me to a facility outside the world of psychiatry (maybe it was near Munich/Muenchen) where I had psychic driving again, but now in combination with torture. They tortured my penis with electricity -- though not so brutal as some years later in an interroga- tion camp in a desert. One night I had to sleep together with a dead man in one bed so that I could learn what could possibly happen to me if I was not ready to comply. During this treatment my memory was erased using hypnotic orders, electroshocks and drugs. They blocked my "psychic powers" by means of trauma-based mind control. They wanted me to be able to use them only when I were under direct control and in personal contact with members of the SCNS. A Communist Psychic Home again, everybody found my personality changed fundamentally. Once having been an acid head with confused anarchistic ideas I was now a properly adapted young man who had decided to go to school again in order to make up his university entrance qualification. Although I couldn't remember the MC-Treatment my subconscious was busy in trying to tell me the truth. I wrote a short story imitating the style of Burroughs, in which I described the MC-procedure in a surrealistic and symbolic form. Typically I choose the title: "Der Tod ist eine Tatsache des Lebens" (Death is a fact of life). I didn't understand my own story in spite of the title, but because in 1973 I published it in an underground mag which was edited by myself (two of the authors I published became famous later) the SCNS thought that I had remem- bered the treatment. "Social workers" of the MC-psychiatry urged me to accept a follow-up-treatment: I refused. After that my adaptation vanished although my memory wasn't restored. And so I wasn't able to see the danger I was in. Until now I don't understand the reason why I became a member of the German Communist Party in 1973. Not enough [content] doing this, I was going to play the political clairvoyant publicly. In school I claimed that a secret NATO treaty existed that in case of emergency the government of West Germany had to subordinate itself under the government of the United States and that in case of a war against the Soviet Union the Soviet tanks passing the border between West and East Germany should be destroyed with atomic weapons. Of course the German government and the economic elite would have the chance to be flown out of Germany before the final bombardment. Not satisfied with these revelations I went on prophesying that Israel was developing atomic bombs secretly. (This is now an established fact, and there have even been claims that the Israeli's now have the H-Bomb. Can you blame them? - Wol.) The SCNS was delighted. I wasn't able to reflect what I was doing. Of course the SCNS didn't like communist prophets of my kind, but I was driven by inner forces out of my control. I was probably program- med to act in this way, but who did that? The SCNS had to react. First they decided to try again a psychiatrically disguised MC treat- ment. Probably they believed that if violence won't work sex would do the job. So they coerced me to "make love" with a young woma n while the sex center in my brain was stimulated electrically (ESB). It was rape! And it was not successful. God knows why I told the woman who had the sexual intercourse with me after it had been done that I was going to write a book on mind control. She went pale and said that they could hear every word. She claimed that she only wanted to help me. She said they had threatened [to blame?] psychi- atry with killing me if they weren't ready to treat me this way. If my memory doesn't deceive me this woman is now a professor of psy- chology. By the way: Although I studied psychology I don't define myself as a psychologist. Until I read a clear statement of the German psychological association against mind control and against the psy- chologists among the perpetrators this is not acceptable for me. Near Death Camp This treatment happened in 1974. After the electronic sex event I was abducted and brought to a interrogation camp in a desert. There I underwent a full human robot program. The aim was to program my brain like a computer. A secret trial was arranged. They told me that I was sentenced to death for spying (absolutely nonsense, but remember the story with Israel's atomic bomb) and that they have found a method to execute me, while leaving my body alive. They said that I could decide whether I would like to be physically or mentally killed. After they had explained to me what the latter means I decided to prefer physical execution. Mentally killing somebody means nothing else but producing an abandoned nervous system in which an artificial "personality" can be installed. Consequently they arranged a mock execution. I had to put on a red suit. As far as I know condemned man in Israel have to wear red suits. Before my own "execution" I had to observe real executions. When the day of my own "execution" [arrived] I was blindfolded and tied to a post. Shortly before the command to fire I cried that I agreed to undergo the process of menticide -- that means murder of the soul in Greek. They showed me my verdict which was written in English. Otherwise the torture master always talked to me in PERFECT GERMAN, the torture servants didn't speak to me at all. The judgement read that I have been condemned to "personality change". The torture master explained to me that "personality change" doesn't mean any modification of my personality but a total replacement of my present personality with an absolutely different personality who was still waiting to take over my body from me. When I doubted that this was pos- sible they told it that they managed this successfully many time before. They used unrestricted physical torture, electroshocks, hypnosis, drugs with the aim to kill me psychically, to erase my personality and replace it by a being that defines itself subcon- sciously as a robot under full control of the SCNS that makes himself and other people believe that he [is] human. The worst thing of all was that they gave me a drug inducing near death experiences. When I was clinically dead a voice suggested [to] me that he was God and that he had decided that I have to be born again as a slave. Then I was reanimated. Under the influence of drugs, hypnotism and torture I had to confess my deepest secrets, they wanted me to reveal my desires and fears, my systems of belief, my views of the world and my perceptions and definitions of myself. This knowledge was used for conditioning afterwards. Via hypnotic suggestions they let me imagine situations which were associated with maximal fear and then these states of consciousness were related to behaviors and cognitions the perpetrators didn't want me to perform or think. And vice versa imaginations of pleasurable events were connected with actions and mental conditions the perpetrators preferred. The near death camp was a true reproduction of German concen- tration camps (KZs), secured with electrically charged fences. When I tried to burst into the fences in order to commit suicide a young, very fast running man stopped me. They proudly presented to me the gas stoves in which they burned the dead bodies of the victims THEY had tortured to death. The psychological rationale to adopt the German KZ-Model is quiet clear, being tortured in a KZ induces the most extreme kind of hopelessness. I had to look at videos that showed scenes of mutilating torture of both men and woman who died in agony. The torture master said that this would happen to me, too, if I were not ready to comply. [Continued to part 3] ---------------------------------------------------------------- MindNet Journal Archive Filename: [mn138b.txt] ================================================ To subscribe to the MindNet Journal: Send message: [subscribe mindnet] to: . To unsubscribe: Send message: [unsubscribe mindnet] to: . 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