TheAdjuster's Lament A lady called and gave her name, and said her back was almost lame. Pray tell, said I, what caused this pain? Are you helped along with cane? "Why no," said she, "and don't be funny, a thing or two I'll tell you sonny! Your Insured went and hit my car, and knocked my vertebrae ajar!" "My walking is no longer normal, I'm calling you just to be formal." So, Formally she filled a claim, and, thus, began the milking game. I found her damage to be minute, but, she had gone and filed a suit. Claiming she could hardly walk, It did alas, not harm her to talk. For weeks her claim sat in my files, as bills stacked up, for miles and miles. Amazing how a little dent, Can keep a vertebrae so bent. But, then, the day had come, When she collected quite a sum. The pain was gone, the back was straght, Affected by the settlement date. So, when you hear the telephone, and enter in the twlight zone, Just think of one whose pain you've healed, By four mere words, "Lets make a deal." By: Terry Aycock, Texas Farm Bureau

Adjuster's Lament Number 1 Oh harken to the tale of the adjuster and his woes, To the trial's and injuries the poor guy undergoes Your heart will bleed with pity when you understand His plight and see his many problems in their true And proper light. The Companies employ him, and to meet with their demand There should be no profession that he does not understand, He should be an accountant and a lawyer and a sleuth, A merchant and a doctor and psychiatrist, forsooth! He must know all the answers and should never make An error, and so he lives his life out in a state of Nervous terror, the thought of overdue reports is with Him night and day, and all his many worries Turn him prematurely gray. If business comes in steadily he's always far behind, But he's on the skids if there's a lull of any kind, He rarely gets a word of thanks from any Company, Although a little praise is worth far more than any fee, Regarded by the Claimant as a thieving low-down Blackguard, the Company considers him a high-priced Lazy laggard who squanders all their money with The utmost unconcern and charges them outrageous fees he doesn't earn. The Agent views him coldly as a thing to be endured A chiseling incompetent who cheats the poor insured. Garagemen seem quite friendly but they join in the Attack by calling him a dope behind his poor, defenseless back. He spends much time in argument with others of His kind, who offer 50-50 when his man's hit from Behind, or else demand full payment of the other Fellows claim, when it's clear from all the evidence Both drivers were to blame! He deals with claimants lawyers and must try to Make them see that a simple compound fracture Is not a major injury! Another of his problems which Would drive most men to tears are insureds who Have collisions when they've only had two beers! This sorry tale is not complete, but surely now you'll See Adjusters are a sorry lot and should have Sympathy, so greet the next one with a smile and Shake him by the hand, and perhaps if he sobs with Gratitude, perhaps you'll understand!