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1/2/02 News, News, I Got News
Hey, What does a lonely, drunken, egotistical as fuck piece of shit do left to his own devices with some beer and a computer? He starts his own e-newsletter. This is going to be great, at least for me. I'm going to tell everyone all the cool shit that's going on with me, each and every week, just like a comic strip, educate you all at once about good drinks and eats, what you should and shouldn't watch or listen to, how to live your fucking lives. THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT! (Why, even when you have caps lock down does the damn thing still print 1? First person to answer this {correctly} gets a dollar). I fucking hate computers. Okay, first some ground rules. Anybody looking for some juicy "Loretta's a cheating skank" type stuff will have to talk to me individually, cos one of the newsletter buds (and still a friend of mine, I hope) is related to Loretta, so we aren't going there. Though, for the record, Loretta IS a cheating fucking skank, and I will kill her motherfucking "boyfriend" the first time I lay eyes on him. Take this to the bank, boys and girls. Second, no you don't have to send me any money to keep receiving this, just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. And by the way, Chris is responsible for this monster, cos he was the one who told me I could e-mail more than one person at a time. Address all hate e-mail to him. For those of you wondering how my date with Roxanne the hotbody nurse turned out- not too good. I realized we were going south when she found out, not only do I not have my own ATV, but that I'd never been "4 wheelin'" in my life, and didn't really want to go. Then I insulted Restless Heart (how the fuck was I supposed to know she was the one who played them on the jukebox, and goddammit, they SUCK) and that was all she wrote. For those of you wanting to listen to what Bill listens to, right now it's Rare Earth. Great, great shit, I love that 70's humbucking guitar/organ sound (different styles, but think Allman Bros. Deep Purple Grand Funk {w/Craig Frost} Ten Years After). I love that SOUND. I'll say it again. I love that sound. Aside to Dave-this is Greg music. For those of you wanting to drink what Bill drinks- yow, that makes even me shudder- I had some fan-fucking-tastic margaritas at Chris's a few weeks ago- thanks, dude- I'll type dude, but it sticks in my throat when I try to say it- and here's the recipe- Limes Fill shaker with broken cubed ice. Add 2 lime wedges, 2oz. 1800, 1.5 oz. lime juice, .5 oz. triple sec, splash orange Curacao. Shake. Rim glass with lime peel, twirl in salt, strain into glass over ice, squeeze in juice from lime wedges. Lemme tell you what, if you're used to those punk ass frisky freeze type of ice slushy margaritas you get around here- which I fucking hate, by the way, put 'em on the list, I swear, I fuckin' hate 'em- you will be amazed at how good these are. Do yourself a favor and try one today. Now I'm listening to Foghat Live. Anybody who makes fun of Foghat never listened to this CD (and needs their ass kicked, besides). Blazing rendition of some mutant version of Train Kept A Rollin' they call Honey Hush, and the second best version of I Just Wanna Make Love To You after the late, lamented (demented) Tang Spoons. Plus the immortal (I adore that opening GRIND) Slow Ride. And for those of you who don't know, this is part of my duty and part of my pride, and why you all subscribe to this newsletter, I'm sorry to inform you, Foghat lead vocalist Lonesome (which I think is British for nose like a goddamn protractor) Dave Peverett passed last year from some shitass internal cancer, pancreas or liver or something. Now I'm gonna go pee. Now I'm back. If you've never eaten sushi, try it. It's great. Been eating a lot of it myself, lately, had some last night at Joe's, in fact (I'm just a name dropping fool). Actually, I think I'm eating so much raw fish because I haven't had sex in a while. Nobody needs to be spreading that around, by the way. Got a Green Lantern t-shirt for Christmas. Green Lantern (the Hal Jordan one) is fucking COOL. Thinking about getting a Green Lantern tattoo. Aside to Joe- wrote a song earlier tonight, a really tough fuzzed out riff in B (not sure how that happened, I think I thought I was in E, which as we all know is the easiest of all keys), mondo garago, or I guess I just came up with some music, put it to the words of "Fuck You to Hell", and it sounds marvelous. For those of you unfamiliar with this tender ballad, the first verse goes like this- If you wanna see me baby, come by after ten/I figure I should be through puking by then/And if I'm not, you can just wait outside/I may be white trash but I still have my pride/And my .45 . . . Got a nice juxtaposition (I may be white trash, but I know my words) between the riff on one side, and some bangy chords on the other. You'll all like it, trust me. Okay, gonna wrap up, cos I've got work tomorrow, and it's getting late. A few individual notes, Doug, sorry I didn't make it by last week, I'll be by this week, love to see you- Chinese Death Falcons Rule, you Yankee Bitch-Kathy, I'll be by tomorrow, beware, Dave, I've got to kill a couple days vacation this month, let's do something, I've got a good fishing idea, Joe, see you when you stop by, call first cos you know what a popular boy I be, Chris and Ron, I got a DVD for Christmas, movie club at my house, early February, okay? Now I'm listening to Eric Burdon from 73/74, Sun Secrets/Stop- Dave turned me on to this way back in 77, this again has that killer '70's sound, no organ, not as full, but Eric Burdon doing his Animally vocal thing on some old Animals covers and stuff like Ring Of Fire with this Hendrixy guitar thing going. I like it. A lot. Get back to me and let me know if you got this, and if you did, let me know what you think (and no, not liking it is not going to stop me). I would entreat all of you to e-mail me long and often, because every other 2 weeks, I truly am as lonely as fuck (but with head held high). Yer pal, Bill Now we'll see if this shit works.
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