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10/23/03 No Adolts Aloud
Stand out from the crowd Hey Welcome to the as close to Halloween as we're going to get this year edition of this thing. What's been up with Bill? How about I tell you. Had what I thought was going to be a very cool experience early last week, I stop out at my parent's house and who the hell do I see coming out their front door- Merle Haggard. I'm not kidding- barefoot, staggering drunk, unshaven, scruffy ass supreme Merle Haggard (Haggard is his name, and haggard is his game). I was totally gobstopped, I went running up to him, "Mr. Haggard, what a damn honor, you’re a fucking icon, man, 'Mama Tried', killer song, 'Lonesome Fugitive', 'The Fightin' Side Of Me", just great stuff, man-" I can tell Merle's a little baffled by my enthusiasm, finally he goes, "Who the hell are you talking to?" "You, Merle, can I call you Merle, hey, let me buy you a beer" when about then Tina comes out of the house, and I find out it's not Merle Haggard at all, but her new boyfriend, Vince. It's been about 7 or 8 years since I've seen Vince, and let me tell you, those years were not kind to our boy, in fact, they were down right hateful. I'm serious, Joe, if you can find the most recent, worst looking, tore down all to hell photo of Merle and run it with this, that's exactly what Vince looks like. Tina apologized for Vince's condition (good Lord, she didn't have to apologize to me for Vince's inebriation, like I'd dare throw that stone) by explaining that Vince got served with divorce papers earlier that day- he and his wife separated in May- and he was pretty tore up, I guess maybe he was hoping for a reconciliation, though I'm sure Tina wasn't. Hearing his side of it, it sounds like he got jobbed pretty badly, he raised his wife's kids as his own for the past 16 years, they get out of school and she tells him, "Okay, I don't need you anymore, see ya." Pretty damn cold, but then some people are like that. All you can do is walk on, or else make 'em even colder, if you get my drift. Good advice, wish I'd take it. Still, for all his ghastly appearance- admittedly I didn't see him at his best- he makes Tina happy, and she's been a changed girl since they started going out, very pleasant and upbeat, no more of that surly snappy shit you were pretty much guaranteed from her, acts like she and I are best buddies now, which I have to admit is better than the testy armed truce we've had lo these many years. She still doesn't lift a finger to help my parents, he's not a damn miracle worker, but at least now she's not taking advantage of my parents AND being a bitch about it.
Who? The Chicago Cubs? Never heard of 'em. Through with watching baseball for this year, cos I couldn't give a good goddamn who wins the Series. Last game I watched was Game 6 of the ALCS- I had sense enough not to watch Game 7 of the NLCS, I saw the handwriting on that wall in mile high letters, and any of you who want to blame the Cubs losing to the Marlins on that poor guy in the stands, you're full of shit and looking for excuses, that was one out in a 7 game series, the Cubs just fucking choked and I HATE "EM. I watched the aforementioned ALCS 6 out at the house with my Dad and Tom. Bill's Dad on astronomy- B: Look how dark it is already in Boston, and it's still light here. Bill's Dad on famous quotations: B: Looks like the Sox are in a jam. Bill's Dad on I'm not exactly sure what.
D: Ah, Jeter, take your damn Visa card and go buy some pumpernickel. Later, he told Derek he could stick his Visa card up his ass. Still later, he told me I could stick my Visa card up my ass, and later still told Tommy, who at that point was sleeping innocently in the recliner and hadn't said a word, that he could stick HIS Visa card up HIS ass. The man is pure joy to be around, I kid you not. Actually, I'm starting to worry about him again. I know he's not sleeping any better than I am, his arthritis is really hurting him once more, and he's not feeling well in general. I don't think he's looking well at all, but of course, you say anything to him and he comes back, "You don't look so damn good yourself, Hoss". B: Well, just try not to die right here around Christmas and spoil the
holidays. My Dad's just the man to do it. Been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time Dept. The girls were in last weekend, for the second time in the ten weeks it's been since they moved to Baltimore. They'll be back next at Thanksgiving. Somehow that doesn't equate to twice a month to me, but what the fuck, I never was very good at math. The girls seemed to have a good visit, Rachel went to a party Saturday from about 2 pm till 10 or so, and seems to be a lot more popular now than before she left, funny how that works, Sarah and I spent the day together hanging out, it was nice. Rachel and I watched "Identity" Friday night on a tape Laura lent me, it was okay, watched the other movie on the tape the other night alone, "Dreamcatcher" a pretty lousy movie based on a pretty lousy book, if you want to borrow the video from someone okay, don't pay to rent it. Sarah and I went to Second Time Around Saturday looking for incense for Rachel, Sarah got her withered old Brit fix, "Sense And Sensibility" with Alan Rickman, "Man In the Iron Mask" for Jeremy Irons, at least she didn't want it for that weasel faced little shitbird Dicaprio. We watched them Saturday night, both are quite good, I'd seen "MITIM" before, love to be in a movie like that, I bet I could swashbuckle like a son of a bitch, "SAS" a little slow in spots but overall witty and entertaining, Jane Austen's not one of my favorite authors- not enough flying saucer attacks, for one thing- but well acted by all those cool Brits. I think they filmed it in the Land Of Stupid Hats, though, every damn scene someone was wearing a mop bucket or coal scuttle or half the damn side garden on their head, it was like reading "Go, Dog, Go" again, I kept hollering "Do you like my hat? NO, I do not like your hat!" to the point where Sarah complained "I'll never be able to watch this again without hearing some idiot yelling 'Do you like my hat!' every two minutes". Sorry, baby.
This is so old maybe some of you missed it. A kid trick or treating goes up to the door. Lady: And what are you?
What's Bill listening to? Nothing, to be honest, pretty tired, another sleepless night last night, just enjoying the quiet, semi-trancing. Might go to South Carolina the weekend of 11/15-16, Aline called my mom wanting to know if they wanted to come down for the Redskins/Panthers game that weekend, if my parents go they'll need a driver. Could be fun, I think the Bell's tailgate like crazy before the game, we'll see.
Ordered a new Death Falcon mask, black, got the confirmation yesterday morning at 2:06 am that it had been shipped. I think I might get some black gear to go with it as well, have an entire black DF outfit to go with the red one, for nights when there's no Falconette available, I can wear either. The DF is also a character in a computer game now, swear to God. There's some computer wrestling game you can download that uses actual indie wrestlers as the characters, Kris told me last week they added me and him and the Rydas to the game, but he didn't tell me how to get the game, once I find out I'll let you know. I think we may also be about ready to start filming the DF video, I went by and sort of got permission to use the Nitro jail (boy, that place brings back memories of the good old days, nothing like getting cuffed to the bars and Mace sprayed in your face to get a guy all nostalgic, not to mention teary eyed) but Mayor Casto wasn't there to give his final seal of approval, I'll stop back by and check with him when we're a little closer to actually rolling film. As I mentioned earlier, still no TV out here, been a month today. Or, yesterday, actually. This television I've got didn't come with a remote, and I'm having a hard time finding one that will work with it, I have to have a remote now to activate my new DirecTV access card (don't ask) and I'm about ready to say fuck it, the longer I go without it the less I miss it, if it weren't for the girls wanting to watch it when they come in (how often is that again? oh yeah, twice a month) I swear I'd just cancel it. Been writing up a storm this last month though, (and speaking of writing, the other night I did a rough word count on these things since the beginning, comes out to about 150,000 words, two decent sized novels, or half of a turgid Stephen King potboiler) a very good thing. About 29,000 words into the P.I. novel, going well, by the way, I incorporate a lot of real people into my fiction, often times including persons I've just met if they make a strong enough impression on me, if any of you don't want to be a possible story character, old acquaintance or new, let me know, or you're fair game. Hell, I've already killed most of you three or four times by now anyway. Also working on this story set in the Rocket USA world, about these guys in '46 in a B-29 flying out of a base in Japan and getting ready to drop the third atomic bomb on the Soviet port of Vladivostok, while their P-51 escorts try to keep the Soviet piloted Me-262s from shooting them down. As someone who grew up believing the Communist Bloc existed solely for the purpose of bombing me back to my own personal Stone Age, atom bombs are a pretty potent symbol.
Doing lots of reading as well, finished all the books mentioned last issue, as well as that Krakatoa book of Chris's. That guy I sold it to brought it back- no damn refund for him, though-and I think I know why. For a book allegedly about the eruption/explosion of the Krakatoa volcano, it sure goes on and on about all kinds of other shit, not nearly as interesting as reading about giant tsunamis smashing the hell out of things, I say. Reading right now "Divine Invasion", a bio of the SF writer Philip K. Dick who stroked out and died young- his early 50's- in the early 80's. Interesting guy, pretty warped, no offense meant, even if you don't know him I guarantee you've seen a movie based on his work, besides "Blade Runner" I can think of four others off the top of my head, and I imagine there's more than that. A relevant quote: "I became educated to the fact that the greatest pain does not come zooming down from a distant planet, but up from the depths of the heart. Of course, both could happen; your wife and child could leave you and you could be sitting alone in your empty house with nothing to live for, and in addition the Martians could bore through the roof and get you." I couldn't have said it better myself, Phillip, I expect the Martians to catch me any night here, crying in my beer. Bore through the roof . . . how funny.
On a related arty note, Laura has been taking watercolor classes with Mary (Jack's wife) for a couple months now, she's done some really nice stuff, I really like watercolors as a medium- as an observer, my artistic talents do not in any way extend to drawing or painting, my stick figures don't even look like sticks, much less figures- keep up the good work, dear. Jack's officially retired from the Coast Guard now, he's got this certificate from President Bush thanking him for 35 years service to his country. You want to see it? Come within ten miles of here and you won't have any choice. Mary also got this terribly condescending certificate thanking her for being the little woman behind the service man, I swear. Jeez. Joe, don't run that picture of Jack you always do when I mention his name, it gives me the creeps, seriously. On the other hand, Joe, do run out and buy the reissue DVD of The Kids Are Alright, I know you tried to get it a while back and couldn't, it's out again and restored to it's original length, plus you can get a version with a second DVD with tons of great extra shit on it, that's the one I recommend you purchase. In keeping with the withered Brits mentioned earlier I was going to relate an amusing tale from when Loretta and I were in Inverness, but I'm fading really fast, I'll get it in next time, same with Comics Corner and any thing else I might've left out of this one. Sleep tight, laddies and lassies.
Later Bill
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I know that all I have 
Watched a bio on Johnny Cash at my parents- still no TV here, more on
that later- he had done a Christmas special from Montreaux, Switzerland,
with Willie and Waylon and Kris Kristofferson, someone asked, "Why
Montreaux?" and Waylon answered, straight faced as hell, "Cos
that's where baby Jesus was born." I'm not always down with their
music, but those old school country guys were a fucking hoot, I bet they'd
have been damn fun boys to hang with, if you could have kept up with them.
Derek Jeter, whom my Dad hates, along with all the rest of the Yankees
(I'm with him there, bunch of punk ass mother fuckers if you ask me) makes
a play and mugs for the cameras.
On the subject of the kids, gonna scan in a couple old Halloween
photos, the first is of me and Sarah at the old DHHR offices Halloween
'89- 14 years ago to you, an eyeblink for me. The second is of Sarah and
Rachel two years later in '91 in their infamous Little Mermaid and
Flounder costumes. Loretta's niece Kim made them and she outdid herself,
this picture really doesn't do justice to Rachel's Flounder costume,
people were falling on the ground pissing themselves laughing that year
when I took the girls out trick or treating. I was one of those people.
Dear God in heaven, I miss my life.
What's Bill drinking? Green tea, need to straighten up. Back at working
out this week, on the step yesterday, the bench today. The toe seems to be
healing a lot better than the thumb, it still hurts like shit to try and
lift, I borrowed some lifting gloves but they don't really seem to be
helping much.
In Death Falcon news, Bob called Sunday, we're tentatively booked into
the Armory in Ashland for the first weekend in December, what he's talking
right now is me and JT teaming against him and Jeremy in the main event,
that would be cool, but as we all know, CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE. I have an
appointment Friday morning to go down to the Skateland in Campbell's Creek
and talk to them about running there- I'll work there, but I wouldn't
expect any of you to come see me- another that same day to talk to the
people at the North Charleston Rec Center, maybe we can finally start
running some stuff around here.
One of my favorite latter period Tang Spoons songs was Atom War '50,
(The second war's over but the next one's not far away/Harry's getting
pissed, he's about to say "Bombs away") I remember when the Tang
Spoons would do it when we played out, and I'd do that spoken word intro
over that truly ominous sci-fi sounding riff, based on the conceit that
I'd been in a bunker in my own world when the bombs started falling, when
I came out, I was in this one. Some nights, when I was on, I thought it
came across very well, other nights, when I wasn't, usually by being the
worse for wear for drink, it came across as mumble fuck absurdity. Or
maybe it always did, I don't now.
Ordered a book from Feral House earlier this week, you might want to
check out their website, www.feralhouse.com they're the ones who published
those books on American Hardcore and LA Punk (We Got The Neutron Bomb) I
mentioned a while back, they publish stuff concerning Kulchur (though that
spelling is too cute by tons, guys), Sex (including one, Imp, about the
notoriously perverted Mexican comics that sell TWENTY MILLION copies a
week, what a nasty damn place, our southern neighbor, I need to get my ass
down there) Crime, The Occult and Music. The book I got is 
Where's your buccaneers?