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10/5/07 Brute Force And Ignorance
"Man was made by inferior angels." Brute Force and Ignorance just got to town . . . Hey Welcome back boys and girls, to yet another newsletter, where my evil
is law. It's been a while. The mail box was pretty full after last issue, Jean thought the crsipins story was laugh out loud funny, and a lot of folks agreed with her. You should have been there and seen the look on that crispin' fucker's face. Someone asked "why don't you put more stories like that in every newsletter", well, believe it or not, because they have to happen before I can put them in here, cos every word in every newsletter IS THE TRUTH, God strike you dead as a hammer if I'm lying. Some recent anniversaries, a couple weeks ago it was five years since I left CCIL, six years ago this past Monday I moved out of the Carriage Way house forever, it was two years ago that same day that I moved from my retreat on Harmon's Creek into Castle Greyskull, three years ago this very night (the 4th, probably be yesterday by the time this comes out) Joe and Charlie, Impetuous, Anita and I, went to see Abdullah the Butcher at the IWA show in Nitro. Sigh.
My Mom continues to drive me nuts. I went down to SC and got Aline week before last, she's going to stay with my Mom while I'm in Colorado, and while it's still an enormous pain in the ass to deal with, at least it's a little better knowing it's not just another case of Bill being pissy, Aline was sympathisizing with me the other day about my Mom being "Unreasonable". Unreasonable, that's exactly what she is, and always has been, always right no matter what crazy ass demand she may be making, and there's no talking to her about it, cos she's fucking RIGHT, dammit. She been like this my entire life, it's how I got that "bad" tag put on me before I could hardly walk, when I was just a very young kid it was all, "don't cross the street, don't go past the corner, don't play in the woods, don't go near the creek," you know, things every other kid was doing, and even if they weren't, I wanted to cross the street, go past the corner, play in the woods, and go down to the fuckng creek, and if I had to take a pounding from my Dad when he got home- cos my Mom realized long before I even started school that she couldn't hit this ass hard enough to make an impression- "Mom, I think a gnat just landed on my butt, as long as you're back there, could you knock it off with that belt, please, and by the way, when are you going to start spanking me?"- then that was the price I'd pay. And pay it I did, many, many times. She's where I got my lifelong aversion to authority from, it's not that I don't respect it, I just don't think it knows what the fuck it's doing. Nor does it care. Ten days away from my Mom is going to be a good thing, also. Let's go in the opposite direction, both generational and attitude wise, and talk about my girls. Rachel's been calling her Daddy a couple times a week, which is how it should be, and she sounds really good, which is also how it should be. She's thrown off that truancy thing (which never happened on my watch, by God) and is attending school this year, her (Jesus) senior year of high school, and the result? Five A's and two (high) B's on her mid term's. That's Daddy's smart, smart girl. Keep up the good work, sweetie. She also went to a college fair last week, and one of the colleges she's seriously considering is Concord, right here in WV. Keep your fingers crossed. Sarah is doing well in the UK, she's also doing well in all her classes as far as she can tell (they only have two tests per semester, a midterm and a final), she's loving where she's at, been on a bunch of weekend excursions sponsored by the school as well as taking off one weekend on her own and going down to Oxford, hung out there all day and then went to a classical concert that night. How cool is that? She's going to Paris this coming weekend, knock the piss out of a Frenchman for Daddy, baby, and have a good time. Says she's been talking on line to Doug a good bit, thank you, sir, again, any of you who want to write her I'm sure she'd love it. Only turd in this particular jug of buttermilk is that I won't be seeing either of them before Christmas. Danny and I are definitely on for the House of Pain show at the Apollo in Martinsburg, November 17th, which also happens to be Rachel's (Jesus, again) 18th birthday, we're taking Team G.A.Y. up there with us to work, so I was going to have Rachel, and Loretta and Paul if they wanted, come up to Martinsburg and we'd all have dinner together for Rachel's birthday, then a real birthday party after the matches, except . . . Loretta, Paul and Rachel are taking that week to fly to England to see Sarah. Damn me, anyway. No, wait, I mean damn them. Sarah's not overjoyed by it, pretty much seeing it for what it is- like
she said, Mom and Paul can't come see me when I'm three hours away, but
let me go to England and they're beating my damn door down- although I
actually do see, even if I don't exactly agree, with Loretta's side of it-
hmm, New Jersey or the UK, where shall I visit?- but it should be a nice
trip for the globetrotting Rachel, (not as cool as coming to Martinsburg
to party with the Grapes of Wrath and G.A.Y., though) as long as it's not
a week long fight, Bitners aren't known for playing well with others,
especially not other Bitners (we're sort of like Siamese fighting fish in
that way). What's Bill been up to? Just finished up a summer of lots of damn writing, held off talking about it much until it became done deeds, one done deed (done dirt cheap) is the film treatment I wrote, finally laid that motherfucker to rest, never again, thought I was getting paid well but if you look at how many skull cracking hours I spent trying to polish that turd, probably not. Also finsihsed the novelization of the DFZ script (the original, not the one we let that supposed money guy do, he was a donkey and his writing stunk), it's all a long story, but trust me, this is actually getting us one step closer to that masterpiece of cinema becoming reality, it's a done deed as well, it will be published next spring by WV State press, I expect each and every one of you to buy a copy. Got another book in the works that I'm dying to talk about, but I'm waiting until it too is a done deal. And of course, I continue to work on my autobiography, I'm Better Than All You Motherfuckers. Robert Tinnell, who has done a lot of graphic novels, here's his website, http://www.theblackforest.net/ is coming in this weekend at Danny's invitation, to talk at State, gonna hang with him and Danny tomorrow (Friday) night and Saturday, not a bad contact to make at all, although my writing plate currently looks like that big ass woman's from Ponderosa, one of the reasons it's been a while between newslettters. I love it, though, at least when I'm writing my own stuff and not trying to fix someone elses unfixable shite. Got good news on 16 to Life, it's finally, finally done, and will be premiering at the WV Film Festival in Sutton the weekend of October 13th/14th, sadly, when I'll be in Colorado. Did I consider changing my plans and making the Festival? In a word, fuck no, Colorado here I come. I'll get some copies from Chi when I get back and we'll- here's what we'll do, it just came to me, we'll have a special Halloween party/Movie Club Saturday, October 27th, DFZ's working the two nights before that, amazingly, though, I don't see anything on his calendar for that night and I won't let that workaholic bastard put anything on there, either, we'll spend that night getting drunk as piss and watching Bill's (non porn) movie debut, and a bunch of other scary stuff as well. It'll be fun. No word on Johnny Boy, I'll give those guys a holler when I get back from out west. I was going to leave this till the DFZ section, but what the fuck, I'm thinking about it now, some guy in Californina (or so he says) is wanting to collaborate on a manga, Death Falcon Zero Versus Combat Monster Xcheon (no, I don't know how to pronounce it, either, even though I came up with it- Combat Monster has that weird ass Japanese sound to it, to me, at least, and 'Xcheon" came to me the other night while hammered and I was trying to type something else), he's supposed to be sending me some copies of his work. As always, we'll see. All my life it's been the same What's Bill been listening to? Well, the Jam, obviously, or at least it's obvious if you recognize the above lines. After not buying any new CD's for a while, I got some more stuff from Music Masters Worldwide, which I recommend with reservations, the guy has a lot of cool, obscure stuff but he also doesn't update his catalog often enough, and usually half of my order comes back "out of stock and out of print, sorry", like it did this time with the Acid Mother's Temple and Bevis Frond CD's I ordered. I did get the Jam box set, all of their studio stuff, 117 songs and great music for sure, although it was probably a mistake as it's been getting to Bill's weak ass nostalgic heart listening to it, I listened to This Is The Modern World a hell of a lot that first year at Fairmont, really liked that choppy, double tracked rhythm Rickenbacker sound, back then I thought I'd be recording my own some day, more's the pity, and to All Mod Cons and Setting Suns equally as much the summer of 1980, and we all know how songs can really bring a time past back to life for our boy, and remembering those days in reference to where I now sit, hurts my heart. Still, it's not the Jam's fault, is it? Also got Deuce by Rory Gallagher, which is not the album I wanted, I wanted Tattoo cos it's got the super great "Cradle Rock" on it, I've said this a thousand times, but I have GOT to stop ordering stuff off the Internet while drunk, but I put part of the blame on Rory and his nondescript, one word album titles. I forgive him, though, as it's not cool to speak ill of the dead, and Rory was a good guy from all accounts, and Deuce is a pretty good album, for all that it's lacking the super great "Cradle Rock". But if Rory was still around I'd recommend to him that he start givng his albums titles like I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass which is a real album title, and I'm pissed at Yo La Tengo for using it first. Got some more CD's as well, but I haven't been able to listen to them much- they just came yesterday- so I'll save them for next issue. What's Bill been reading? Went to Empire Books in Huntington week before last, it's also going to hell (what is it with all these bookstores, I hate it) half the shelves, both book and magazine, were empty, they look like they're going out of business although the girl behind the counter said no (not too reassuring, as they're always the last to know), couldn't find any magazines, they had a bunch of hardbacks on sale, buy one get two free, so I picked up a couple short story collections, by David Drake and Ed McBain, both excellent, even though I've got a lot of the stories in each of them already, in paperback, and some of the Drake stuff where it came out in F&SF in the (can I say Jesus again?) early 70's, and which I used to subscribe to in that much more innocent, not to mention positive, age. Also got a book about the history of American beer, doesn't look all that interesting but I couldn't find anything better for my third book, I'll take it to Colorado with me and read it out there. Also read a bunch of library books since last issue, none of real note, except a couple Ultimate FF graphic novels, as we all know, I don't like Ultimate Spiderman, really like the Ultimates (Cap: Take a walk, Pym. Pym: What? Cap: Take a walk. Or I put your head through that wall.), been kind of ambivalent about Ultimate FF, but these were good, Volume 8, Devils was real good, Volume 4 was okay, though I'm not sure I like the new take on the Inhumans, they're more, you know, inhuman, which is good, but they're also pretty big dicks. I have to say, though, swear to God, whoever drew Crystal on that cover (vol. 4) had to have used Impetuous for the model. Seriously, check it out. Aku: You can FLY? What's Bill been watching? As mentioned, got the first three seasons of Samurai Jack on DVD, this stuff is such a treat. I'm not going to go on and on cos you should already be a fan, but if for some inexcusable, inscrutable reason you're not down with the Jack . . . the animation is absolutely first rate, insanely colorful and rich, and the attention to detail is superb, if you smoke dope or take acid you HAVE to watch this show, Jack as hero is intensely likable, self effacing and humble while also being the biggest badass on the planet, and the stories are all told with wit and humor and charm. Just a great, great show, you need to watch it, it will enrich your life, honestly.
I am a dull and simple lad (YOU, AND EVERYONE ELSE). As always, he's been a busy little Death Falcon since last issue, I added up all my (his) matches since the first of the year, also looked at what I (he) already have booked through the end of the year, if we only work what's already on the schedule and don't take any other bookings- I have two new ones in my e-mail right now, and one is for serious money- DFZ will have worked 84 matches in 2007. And I thought 50 was a busy year. I dropped the XMCW belt at the 20th show, my idea, Allen's feelings were genuinely hurt- "You don't want to be my Champ anymore?"- it's not like that, but I was going to miss some shows due to going to SC and Colorado, I think a Fed needs its Champ to be at each show, I'm afraid he's going to put it back on DFZ at, Lord, Scarefest, yes, I said it, Scarefest, ooh, scary, on the 25th, main event me and current poser champ Wes in a barbed wire casket match. While I'm thinknig about it, Joe, can you put the September 20th and Scarefest (God, that name) fliers in with this issue, the Regatta and BCW photos in a seperate photo issue? Danke, and yes, I'm okay for spit right now. Danny also got DFZ and the Prof hooked up with this paper snowflakes lady, http://www.papersnowflakes.com/celebrities.htm. Crazy. Got some free t-shirts out of it.
Niot going to detail all of DFZ's matches since last issue- did have another great one with my boy Brandon in Parkersburg last weekend, got some of it on tape, I'll have Joe maybe put it up next issue, Danny doing the fire throwing thing (a great old school gimmick, and perfect for his character) but I did damn near get my eye put out for real in that six man hardcore thing a few weeks ago. Juggs couldn't make it so they substituted JV Insanity, not an even trade at all, this guy can't work worth a shit, plus he's a drunk. I wasn't happy about it, but I went ahead and worked the match anyway, which goes against eveything I've always told these younger guys (who are ALWAYS coming to me for advice, and not always about wrestling, straight up, one of the many reasons why I still wrestle- we'll get to more later- is because of the genune respect I'm held in by the members of this wholly disfunctional community, that, and because I think I can make a positve difference in a lot of these young workers lives) which is, if you're concerned about your safety in a match, don't take it. I knew I wasn't taking any shit from JV's drunken and dangerous ass, and I didn't, every time he came near me I cut him off and hammered him, legit, so I figured it would be okay. However, I neglected to figure in the chaotic nature of a six man cluster fuck hardcore brawl. I'm outside the ring stapling a note that read "I SUCK" to Chuck's, or rather, Damian's forehead- funny or sick, you take your pick, I choose to laugh- when out of nowhere something SLAMS into my right eye. My eye was open when it hit, and I can feel it gettng mashed back into my head. Mother FUCK, did it hurt, so bad that my left eye clenched shut in sympathy. I let go of Damian and grab my fucking eye. Heath, aka Viper, comes over to me - H: Buddy, are you all right? No shit he did, so fucking hard my eye was already swelling closed, so hard that he crushed something behind my eye, sinus or something, cos I steadily bled clots out of my right nostril for the next 24 hours- when you get a nosebleed like that from beng hit in the eye . . . B: Grab him, Heath. Grab him and hold him. Heath went after JV and hooked his sorry ass and brought him over to me, and I started punching JV as hard as I could. I thought the piece of shit had blinded me in my right eye, seriously, so you can figure for yourself how hard I was laying them in. John came over and started hitting him as well, he had no idea what was going on, he's just mean as fuck. We beat the SHIT out of JV, found out just the other day we broke his jaw, GOOD, I hope it fucking falls off, it's been three weeks tomorrow and I still have cuts and swollen knuckles on my right index and middle fingers, Heath let JV drop, too soon as far as I'm concerned, and we finshed the match, while JV crawled under the ring and out the other side, to the back, where he got his gear and left, by the time the rest of us got back to the locker room he was in his car and long gone- which probably saved his life, seriously. Now you might be thnking "You hypocrite, didn't you clock Allen in
the eye at Riverfest (and knock out his tooth?)", yes, but one, that
was a called move and he knew it was coming, even if I did mess it up, I
never knew JV was even in the vicinity until he crushed my eye, you just
don't do that, also, I didn't hit Allen all that hard, for whatever
reason, JV hit me as hard as he could. Which still wasn't hard enough,
obviously. He's tried to make up since then, I'm not buying, he's still
got the ass kickng from hell in his future if I ever see him, I also got carried away with my gigging that night (we're back to the six man deal), cut way too deep, (razor blades again, I was out of X-acto knife blades, also I think I was trying to distract myself from the pain in my eye), I'm getting some nasty ass scars on my left arm, need to lighten up. One of the EMT's in the back was all about me getting them stitched, they were gaping, both the wounds and the EMTs, I gave her the "stitches are for bitches" line, she wasn't impressed but did put some butterfly bandages on them for me, free of charge. The good news is that after a really bad next day- that eye fucking
HURT, full of abrasive grit and muck leak that I couldn't get to, to dig
out- it opened up and the swelling went down and I can see out of it just
fine. But I'm lucky, and I know it. He is the head boy in the ring (HEY!) Sorry. So, why do I keep wrestling more, not less, as I continue to get older,
not younger? A lot of it's pure ego- I'm good, I know I'm good, the fans
and promotors know I'm good, and I keep getting better as I go along.
These new hardcore Feds I've started working in Ohio, every show there are
other promotors in the back, and after watching my matches they're all
about the DFZ coming to work for them. They don't ask everyone, or even
most of them, in fact it's kind of embarrassing, these guys are recruiting
DFZ hard and I'm not that interested, while all these other guys are
goiing "I'll work for you, I can make that show, I'm not already
booked" and the promotors are all like, "go away, boy, you
bother me." So that's cool, and flattering. And even I know a lot of it is because the losers postng on these boards are DFZ's demographic, males in their late teens, early twenties, i.e. guys who wish they could be like DFZ (Fa fa fa fa fa), but still, it does help DFZ get over when guys like this indy messiah dude says stuff like "his gimmick is flawless, his wrestling solid, his finishers tight, and he moves great for a guy his age," I'll even take that "for a guy his age" shit, cos fuck, it's true. And someone asked since last issue, if I'm such a good pure wrestler, which I am, why do I lower myself by doing these bloody hardcore matches that any untrained no talent can do? Well, divadarla, first off, that any untrained no talent with a set of balls can do, cos that shit hurts no matter what you think of it, and second, it's like this. If I may use a sexual analogy . . . sometimes you want to make love to your sweetheart, with soft caresses, and long, lingering kisses, and strokes deep and slow. And then sometimes you want to bend your lover over, grab a handful of hair, and fuck them into submssion, hard and fast, baby doll . . . hard and fast. Both of them are wonderful times, but neither one of them mean nearly as much without the other to balance it out. It's the same with puroresu and hardcore. Or that's the way I see it, anyway. Then, there's the money. While I'm hardly getting rich at this, in fact couldn't even come close to living on what I make wrestling, at the same time wrestling money has bought all my gasoline this year, as well as all of my beer, CD's and DVDs. Reason enough there, I'd say. But the biggest reason why I keep wrestling is sex. Yeah, wow, what a surpirse. Easily 75%, if not more, of the action I've gotten since the divorce has been wrestling related. Which I guess brings us to my current unexpected sex affection thing . . . When I first set my sights on Nikki, which, to be sure, was after she first set her sights on me, I figured it was just going to be, at best, another good time, one more one and done and see you later, no hard feelings. However, it seems to have taken on an unexpected life of its own . . .
She'd been calling me a lot since we first started hanging out, just to talk, and it was nice- I never call anyone, I just don't- but after we got together carnally a few weeks ago, as not so subtly alluded to last NL, I hadn't heard from her for a while, and so figured we'd started that sad, but inevitable drifting apart thing . . . (YOU COULD HAVE CALLED HER) . . . until she showed up at the AWA show in Parkersburg last Saturday. She'd taken the night off and driven up there specifically to see me, and I have to say, it surprised me how my heart, not just my dick, leapt to see her there.
Instead of just a good time, no worries, I'm starting to give a shit. Which is nuts, I know, I even lectured Joe and Laura last week on all the reasons why I knew better than to. Even more nuts, so is she, which is not speculation on my part, she told me Wednesday, when we had lunch after I was done with my Al duty. There's a very serious attraction, but no future here. I know that, but I still don't want to walk away. But if I don't walk away now (or I'll put your head through the wall, Pym) it's gonna be that much worse later when I have to. Cos I will have to. Mother fuck me, how do I always get myself into these things? Still, I'm not going to angst myself up tonight, it may- no doubt, will- end in tears, but it feels good right now, I'm going to see her again, see her being a metaphor for put my dick in her repeatedly, before I go to Colorado, and that's going to be a great trip, I cannot fucking wait, things are good RIGHT NOW, and right now is all I need to concern myself with, not some evil past I can't change, or some future I can't possibly predict. And all the girls in the neighborhood I feel all right. Next issue, The Scourge of Colorado. Bon nuit, mes braves. Bon nuit. Later Bill
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Get out your mat and pray to the West 
No Al stories this time around, cos other than looking at Robby the
other day and out of the blue saying "You look like two assholes
clamped together(?)" he hasn't been at all amusing lately, also, I am
so sick of him and the stench of his constant eliminations I could scream.
Getting away from him for a week is going to do me a lot of good.
What's Bill drinking? Rolling Rock, again, not all that much, but
again, not all that much is relative. First beer I've drunk in a over a
week and a half, other than the three Harpoon IPA's I drank down at Joe's
last Thursday. Been busy.
And when I lie on my pillow at ngiht 
, he sent a
case of "I'm sorry" beer to me via Smokey C at the last Pure
Impact show, it was Natural Light, good gravy, he's trying to make up with
me wth NATURAL LIGHT, not that it would have worked had he sent me a case
of Barbara Eden's pussy juice circa 1967- no, of course I'd have drunk it,
I'd have fucking drunk it, pissed it out, and drunk it AGAIN, I just
wouldn't have forgiven his punk ass- I gave the NL- that's Natural Light,
not newsletter- to some of the boys in the back who'd already worked (DFZ's
main event everywhere he goes, now) and told Smokey to tell JV we still
have a problem.
I stated previously that I was impressed by her intelligence (although
her vocabulary is not that extensive, I said "facile",
"corroborate" and something else I forget the other night, she
wasn't familiar with any of the words- but was sharp enough to say so, and
ask what they meant, I like that, a lot), likewise with her ambition. She
works at this place in Huntington, started out behind the bar, but now
works in the kitchen, even though it means a cut in pay due to lost tips
(cute and personable as she is, I'm sure she did well there) because her
goal is to be a chef and own her own restaurant one day, she's saving up
to go to culinary school, again, I'm very, very impressed.
After the show we went out and got something to eat, and then I got us
a room at the Econolodge (sorry, Ma, won't be coming home tonght, let
Aline tuck you in), and we absolutely tore it up. I never closed my eyes
all night, and the only time she closed hers was when some sexed up fucker
was giving her a facial. It was a nice, nice time but it leads to a yet
another quandry for our hapless fuck, Bill.