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11/12/03 Eat A Lot
Hey Good advice there above from the Beach Boys, they should've taken it themselves. And added, don't go swimming alone in cold water when you're fucking drunk (see ya, Dennis- that's been 20 years, dear God), and, don't take lots of drugs when you're already crazy. What's Bill up to? Well, I was getting ready to go to bed- not sleep, just bed- when I realized I was going to be out of town for a few, so I thought I'd kick out one of these, since the one following my trip will probably be filled with "Rock Hill Is Hell" stories. Churning these out at a much slower pace then last year, where I got in fifty, this only makes 37 for '03 with what, seven or so weeks to go.
I appreciate all the nice e-mails I got from folks concerned about my health, both mental and physical. I'm going to get my blood work done next Tuesday, haven't scheduled my acupuncture yet since it's not only a bit pricey, but they also want you to keep coming back, like a chiropractor or something. We'll see. I'm thinking all I need is massive doses of Vitamin P, along those lines, that close encounter I had Halloween night, she gave me her phone number, called it last week, it turned out to be the number of a friend of hers. As that little Oriental kid said in "Temple Of Doom", I can't remember his name just now, it had something to do with being small, I'm thinking Nah Twel Hung, which is both vulgar and racist, anyway, his name isn't the fucking POINT, what he said was "not vewy funny". Actually, it sort of is, just wish the joke was on YOUR ass, you know?
I told you Apocalypse was nigh- Tina's moved out of my mom and dad's house. Not entirely, but she says she'll have all of her stuff out by the time we get back from South Carolina on Monday. I helped Vince move Tina's washer and dryer from storage to her new place last Sunday- anything for the cause- but lifting that damn washer I re-fucked up my damn thumb. And it was just starting to get better, too. The toe's fine.
What's Bill been reading? Nothing much, got some books to take on the trip with me, I'll let you know if they were any good next issue. I was reading in an Asian Cult Cinema mag- good read, you should check one out sometime- that they're making a new Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla, and AGAIN they're doing that no history thing, this will again be like the first time Godzilla shows up, which I think is totally fucked. The new Mechagodzilla looks awesome, though.
Loretta got me the "TFOS" t-shirt at the same time she got me the video, I remember I was reading the front of it to Sarah-
That’s my girl. Speaking of the girls, Rachel will be 14 on Monday, and informed me last night she now has a boyfriend. Give me strength. Sarah is in a school play this week, "An Enemy Of The People", playing this Wednesday through Friday for any of you who happen to be in Baltimore this week. Also been watching a bunch of old Outer Limits I taped way back when off of Monstervision on TNT, good stuff, I saw they have both seasons out now on DVD, at about $50 per season, less than the $80 I saw the first season for a year ago, I may break down and get them, fuck it, it's only money. In Death Falcon news, the AWF show for 12/5 in Ashland has been cancelled. No idea why, just got an e-mail telling me it was off. Just as well, I'm making some small progress, but I wasn't going to be in very good shape for it. As mentioned earlier, I'm leaving Thursday morning to take my parents to Rock Hill, be back Monday, going to see the Redskins/Panthers game on Sunday, should be a good time, I plan to eat up a storm down south. I was out at my parents house last Wednesday evening, ate supper with them, started to come home when I got really tired, it just hit me, so I lay down on the floor there in the dining room, it was 6:30, told them "Wake me up around 7:30, if I'm still asleep." Next thing I know it's daylight, it's 11:36 Thursday morning. "Why didn't you wake me up?" "We tried. We couldn't". Okay. 17 hours straight, that's pretty close to a personal record. Dreamed my ASS off during those 17 hours, and not a damn good one in the bunch. Most were fairly minor- getting into an argument with my dad over a flat tire, being in this band onstage and the amps not working- but a couple were pretty complex. This one, I'm scouting for this army, we were pseudo-Egyptian like, dressed way cool in black leather pants and boots, sleeveless leather vests- if I say it myself, I always looked good in leather, so did Loretta, in the early days of our marriage we spent money we didn't really have on a bunch of leather gear and I've never regretted it- Pharoahnic sort of headgear, there were four of us, two person teams, my partner was Rekha, who's this totally gorgeous Hindi actress in real life, I'm thinking, "hot damn", we're creeping along the rocks above this valley where the battle is about to take place, something keeps flitting over our heads, I don't know if they were birds, or bats, something alive, I just caught them out of the corner of my eye, I look up and see these black specks they've left in their wake- getting bigger.
The battle starts and I wish there was some way to make you see what I saw, it would make any movie battle you've ever seen look like a couple kids throwing rocks. These huge armies- the other guys were Asian Indians and they had this great armor, overlapping scales of this iridescent blue, beautiful, and sort of skull cap helmets, and both sides had these enormous fighting machines, like anime giant robots, only these were of the gods, Kali fighting Anubis, Horus had these great huge mirror eyes, I could see the guys in his head turning these cranks trying to catch the sunlight, and when they did, these blinding white heat rays came shooting out of his eyes with this HISS, like water being thrown on hot metal. I was pissed that my girl Rekha was dead, so I'd watch the battle, and when one of the Indian guys would get too close to the rocks where I was at, I'd jump down and go for him. I had this fantastic weapon, an axe, with a blade on one side, a spike on the other, all made from one solid piece of this black metal, it was heavy, but perfectly balanced, and in this dream I was strong, way strong, I'd run down and engage these guys, and it was no wild Conan stuff, I had this formalized fighting style, I'd let them either swing or thrust, and catch their blade in this notch near the head of my axe, then I'd twist away to disarm, then hit them with the back swing, I was cutting these guys in half. The last guy I got I somehow hit with the spike instead of the blade, and again, I wish I could convey how vivid all this was, I can still feel the checkerboard grip there on the handle of my ax, the crunch this guys armor made when the spike went through, see the dirt and sweat on his face. He drops, and I raise my axe to take off his head, when I look down and I can see myself reflected in his armor. My face is this red and black deal, sort of Darth Maulish, but feline looking, big fangs, sort of like a Japanese cat demon, horns on my head, I'm thinking "cool" when a bunch of this guys buddies come running at me, so I jump back up in the rocks where they can't follow me. I'm up in the rocks feeling pretty pleased with myself when I see that these Indian guys have all this religious stuff hanging off them, and it comes to me, like things will in a dream, that even with the anachronistic weapons, this is sometime way in the future, and this is the last battle ever, good against evil- and I'm one of the bad guys. I was sitting there thinking, "shit, how'd I end up with the bad guys?" when the dream ended. To go into this one- I'm a bank robber, I've just robbed this bank and killed a bunch of people there just for the fuck of it, also taken a female hostage with me for- immoral purposes. I'm hiding out in this cinder block dump of a room, it was some shitty summer camp now closed for the season, the hostage is handcuffed to this radiator over against the wall, and I open up the case with all the money in it and the money is all black, with the writing on it in red, and when I pick some of the money up the red is blood, and it's still wet and comes off on my hand. It like I suddenly come to my senses, and I get really disgusted with myself- "What the fuck are you DOING Bill, Jesus Christ, you're not like this, stealing and raping and murdering and shit, what the FUCK", I go over to let the girl go, she's all cringing, "no, stay away" "It's all right" I say, "I'm going to let you go" "What?" she says all funny, "I'm really sorry" I say, "Not as much as you will be," she says. The cuffs just pop open and fall off of her wrist and she stands up acting all pissed off. "You were invited to enter The Kingdom Of The Beasts," she says. "This was your last test. You just failed." "Yeah, well I'm glad," I tell her. "You won't be in a minute," she says, and starts turning all demonic. I pull out my gun to shoot her, but when I pull the trigger, the gun falls all to pieces, so I close my eyes (she was scary looking) and go running at her, but that was when I woke up, which was fine with me. I think I'm going to eat some navy beans with garlic ketchup, and- hey. Dick Van Dyke will be on on a few minutes, I can watch young MTM and- relax. Good night Later Bill
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Eat
a lot, sleep a lot, brush 'em like crazy 
What's
Bill drinking? Well, Bud, and plenty of it. Joe came over tonight and
fixed my TV- thanks Joe- so I gave him some beer for doing it, and I
couldn't let him drink alone. Of course, he went home hours ago and here I
am, still at it.
True
Love Ways Dept. Found out why Satan and Gandhi haven't tied the knot yet.
Loretta's credit rating isn't good enough. No shit, if they get married
now, Loretta's credit rating will pull down Paul's, so he's told her he
won't marry her until her credit rating improves. If two people ever
deserved one another . . .
I
think I solved the saucer thing, heard it AGAIN a few nights ago, went
outside to check it out cos it was bugging me, there was this car parked
up on the road that was making the saucer noise- don't ask me how- while I
was outside they started shining a light around my yard and the one next
door, which are both often full of deer at night, so I figure it was guys
out jacklighting deer. Shit, I'd prefer flying saucers.
What's
Bill been watching? More old videos, though now that my TV is working I
guess I'll be watching less of them. "Teenagers From Outer
Space", not as terrible as it sounds, cool effects with their guns,
which, instead of just doing the traditional, making you go all negative
and disappear, which has been used all the way up through Star Trek,
turned you into a skeleton, much more visually effective. The Gargan
monster though- some guy shaking a superimposed lobster while he goes
"Gaarooogh"- needed more work.
B:
"Teenage hoodlums from another world on a horrendous ray-gun
rampage". Oh my gosh, Sarah, what do we do? 
I
holler, "Get out from under 'em" and jump off to the side, but
Rekha, damn her pretty ass, just stands there looking, and these big
darts, only they're threaded like screws, hit her and screw her into the
ground- I'm sure Freud would have a field day with that. I look, and the
darts have killed the other two scouts as well.
