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11/18/09 Father Knows Beast
Hey Seems like I start every one of these off lately with "I was gonna do this sooner", shit just seems to keep getting in the way. More leery than usual about even starting this NL cos I'm having even MORE computer problems than last time- confirmed by Joe, this isn't just Bill at war with Mister Roboto, Joe was out here for four hours a week or so ago and still wasn't able to get things cleared up. Internet is shaky, delayed as shit sending and receiving, will just go the fuck out on me without warning, when I have it it's maddenly slow, can't get pictures anymore, like the ones of the tea party you sent out Joe, I just get the white rectangle with the little red X in the corner which invariably causes Bill to swear and spit at his monitor screen (I keep a rag right here for wiping the spittle off, serious), can't watch you.tube anymore cos it won't load . . . fuck it. First off, depending on whether this goes out before midnight or after, today is Rachel's- this destroys my mind more than you could possibly know- twentieth birthday. Or the day after. TWENTY. My youngest child is no longer a teenager- and the teenager I married and later impregnated with Rachel is FIFTY. Thank Psycho Erectus (that's who we worship on my planet, got a face you might recognize) I'm not bound by your stupid human "time" or I might "age" as you do. Rachel's doing- hmm. Let's just say she's about where I was at 18, trying to figure things the fuck out. Good luck to her (I never did). She was working at Cracker Barrel, hated it with a passion, quit, now she's working seasonal part time at Border's in the Bluefield Mall. We won't talk about school. She'll be in Thursday to stay for the weekend, then back up again next week for Thanksgiving. Sarah's doing well, was working at Taylor and Lord in Manhattan sellling ladies clothes, didn't like it, the clientele being typical NYC bitches, she's now got an office job, hopefully she'll be in for Christmas. My Mom continues to scrape my nerves raw 24/7. Taking her to Lori's this Thursday to stay through the end of the month, the fiction to get her the fuck out of my ass being I'm going out of town, I'd considered it but now I've decided I'd much rather just stay here by myself (which is not the same as being alone). What's Bill been doing? Going way back, don't want to forget to mention the Bramwell Beerfest, Ron and I went down for it, met Rachel in Princeton who then drove us to Bramwell. A good time, they block off a street and set up all these tents giving out free beer- once you pay $20 to get in, we got our twenty's worth for sure- best was this beer from Marietta that was aged in old bourbon kegs, really really good, they have these bands set up and playing in various front yards, some food vendors with what looked like very good food, but why you'd pay for food to take up space you couild be filling with already paid for beer is something I simply can not fathom. Ron and I both got staggering drunk, once the fest was over we stumbled down to the Bramwell Cafe (I typed "Cage" first time) under watchful copper eyes to wait for Rachie to come pick us up, packed in some generic buffet grub while waiting for Rach, then went back to her apartment, drank some Bass Ale- one can never drink too much- watched "Death Proof"- horrible- and Bill got a lovely neck and shoulder rub from Rachel's last year roommate Nikki who said the same thing every other person who's every tried to give me a massage has said, "Dear GOD your muscles are tight!" Yes, they are. I am one very tense, not to mention dense, motherfucker. Slept great, with alternately one or the other of Rachel's cats Jack or Sally, I'm not a cat guy at all but these two are as personable as cats get. Got up, Bill had a Bass Ale to settle his stomach- one of the best beers for that, serious- then everyone went to breakfast at the Omelet Shoppe, then Bill and Ron back to Charleston, very nice weekend indeed. Also went out on Mark's (with Rosa and Julia) boat for one last ride before he stowed it for winter, very pleasant till the sun went down, then cold, we had to go drink great foamy pitchers of Yuengling at Cold Spot at Lock Six (they've cut their beer selection way back, hope they haven't in Cross Lanes as well but I bet they have) to warm up. Went up to Chris's couple Friday's ago for a WVU game, and beer and cigars and (for Bill) reading comics. I'll be okay with WVU winning for my friends sake now that the utterly loathesome Don Nehlen is no longer the coach- what a fucking puke HE was- but I don't really have any interest in their games. Chris brought a lot of stuff back from Kansas City, Ron also brought some stuff (I brought my thirsty do-less ass), this is what we drank- Boulevard Brewing- Single Wide IPA, Double Wide IPA -but at this late date don't ask me to differentiate between them. They were all good and potent is about all I can tell you.
Also had an invite to join Jean and Tad at their camp on Shaver's Fork last weekend but I was off the computer for a couple days cos it was pissing me off too bad and I didn't get said invite until too late. The weather last weekend was sweet too, bet it was nice up there. If some day simultaneously every computer in the fucking world suddenly turns into reeking piles of horseshit, you'll know Bill has sold his soul to the devil. (AGAIN?) What's Bill drinking? Yuengling, bought a case when I went out earlier to go to the bank- easy come, easy go- started on it about noon cos I'm in the midst of yet another murderous bout of insomnia, hoping it will help me get, and even more importantly stay asleep. No scrapyard tomorrow. You are here and warm What's Bill been listening to? Doobie Brothers (3), Doors (8), Dream Syndicate (1), Dylan (2), Embarrassment (1), ELP (2), Eno (2), John Entwistle- RIP (3), Roky Erikson (3), Faces (3). Flaming Groovies (2), Fleetwood Mac (10)- and no, this isn't the goopy soap opera version, these are mostly from the early 70's three guitar band days when Peter Green was cranking out such truly killer songs as "The Green Manalishi", "Man Of The World", "Oh Well" and "Rattlesnake Shake", the three CD live set from The Boston Tea Party recorded 2/70 is just CRAZY good, highlighted by a live take on Rattlesnake Shake, a jaw dropping 28 minute blues-rock-psych jam about jerking off. (CAN'T BEAT THAT) Ha. Good one. Also have some of the later Kirwan/Welch stuff, the excellent Bare Trees included. Loretta bought me that and Rumours (cos admittedly I was kind of hot for Stevie Nicks back in the day, so sue me) for our first Easter together, you should have SEEN the damn Easter basket she put together for me that year ('77), records and books and guitar strings and picks- (TOO BAD SHE DIDN'T SPRING FOR LESSONS) -and all kinds of shit, would have shamed the hell out of me if I was that kind of guy, which fortunately I'm not, all I got her was a couple goofy stuffed rabbits hugging each other bought at the last minute- I know, but I guarantee you she has 'em to this day- which I made all the more precious by drunkenly putting Bill's name on the girl rabbit and Loretta's name on the boy- "Didn't you see the make up on the girl rabbit?!" "Uh, not really"- and some edible panties (which didn't taste as good as she already did so I sort of fail to see the point- they were a '70's thing I guess, haven't seen them around for a while- haven't really looked, either). While we're on the subject of listening, Joe put the Tang Spoons and Sabres on you.tube (the originals, I think he was afraid both Bo and Hank Sr. would dig themselves out of the grave and come looking for us if they heard our super buzzed live deconstructions of "Roadrunner and "I Saw The Light"), I only found them a couple weeks ago but a couple of you already found "Drunk Every Night" I guess from where I mentioned it a few NLs back, and I got some amazingly positive feedback, including "if that's you playing guitar you're actually pretty good." Well . . . sometimes. Never learned a musical scale in my life, a combination of laziness and . . . more laziness, so the leads were always going to be hit and miss. On record I made an effort to at least play something that made sense, live, fuck it, I always figured you got your goddamn money's worth the minute I hit the stage, and by God I was there to drink. Still, depending on alcohol/other stuff level and whether I was channeling Jimi Hendrix or something from Uranus, playing live Bill sometimes achieved a certain broke dick virtuosity I defy anyone on this planet to duplicate. (OR WANT TO) Amen to that. "Goddamn it, keep your pisspaws off my bacon!" Russ Meyer What's Bill been reading? Well, a not very flattering bio of moviemaker Russ Meyer. Meyer had a big tit fetish, was ill natured, hard drinking, had a hot wife who left him cos of his inattention to her, was mean as fuck to everyone except a few close friends- (HOPE THIS GUY NEVER WRITES A BIOGRAPHY OF US) He sort of already has. Bunch of other stuff, only ones I'll mention by name are Lone Creek and Dead Silver by Neil McMahon, described as "postmodern contemporary Western noir", I don't know about all that, but they're pretty good. DFZ's been easing back into action after his (too) brief hiatus, but taking this short time off has made me realize I'll cut back but I'll never quit and do you know why? (IT'S A GOOD WAY TO GET LAID) Because putting on a mask, boots, and a cape is the coolest thing a person could ever do. EVER. Plus that thing you said. Worked the last very Apex show in Buckhannon (it's a crying shame the way that town was mis-booked into the ground- thanks Mike), bunch of TN guys were WAY late, all we had for talent at bell time was DFZ, Logan, Team GAY and Mike and Jock working as the masked Nightmares. So GAY and the Nightmares went out and did a half hour. Then DFZ and Logan went out and did a half hour- DFZ- If we're going thirty minutes it's going to be ten
wrestling, and twenty schtick. - and it was actually fun, the crowd was into it. DFZ may have laid on the schtick a bit heavy, at one point we went to lock up and Logan said "I feel like I'm in fucking vaudeville", which cracked me up, then later he said "You realize you've got us on a pace to go sixty" which cracked me up again. We set up at the end of our match (DFZ over with loaded mask head butt) for the main to be a six man between DFZ-Nightmares/Logan-GAY, set to go another half hour. Right as intermission was ending the TN guys show up, saying they got lost, which may well be true, cos even though they had all been there before- part of that misbooking I was talking about- they also all reeked of pot. They wanted to work, I immediately got on their shit side by saying to Mike (in front of them) "You're not paying them out of my money" -I'd already gotten a guarantee for a double share before agreeing to work twice. They got pissed but FUCK 'EM, they're a bunch of dicks in my book, I only like one of the four and I don't really like him that much. We went out and did an easy fifteen while the TN guys got their gear on, another fun match, Jock and I kept calling spots for the faces against Mike- DFZ- Don't you chop him, Logan! You better not chop him! Like I said, fun. The TN guys then came out and did a tag match to close, don't know how much they got paid but- you got that right- none of it came out of Bill's money. I was hungry, hadn't eaten anything since a protein shake that afternoon so we- Nightmares, DFZ, Shane Storm- stopped at the Huddle House there on 33, I ordered a 10 oz steak and eggs, switched out the hash browns for salad, guy comes back and says they're out of 10 oz steaks, he'll give me two six oz for the same price, okay. A little while later a different guy brings me out a 10 oz steak (rare) and two eggs (over easy), again okay, whatever, but then not a minute later here comes the first guy with two six oz steaks and two more eggs. So I ended up with 22 oz of steak and four eggs for the price of 10 and two. Been an ever better deal if the steaks had been any good, which they weren't, really. Ate it all anyway. DeathStars worked Halloween in Parkersburg (over on the Day Bros), Ron and his nephew Zack came up, got what I'm sure is some hilarious footage, have to get it for the NL, then we all went to the Northside Pub for some beers with Ryan Spade, real nice guy but not much as a wrestler, enjoy a lot that drinking and hanging out after the matches but it does make for a long drive home. Well, the Y's all gone and although I'm not feeling all that tired I kind of like the symetry- 12 hours (sporadic, I still have to tend to my chores around here even when imbibing) drinking, 24 beers, and I don't want to crack the seal on the WT I also bought today, so I think I'll try to go to bed and hopefully the alcohol will work its magic and I can get some sleep. Any closing words from you? (PISSPAWS) Really. I wonder if he ever met my Dad. Later Bill
Ancient Chinese Secret:
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There's a place 
Had a tea party MC weekend before last out at Joe's- maybe if he
puts the photos in the NL I can see them- watched the remake of
Pelham 123, not horrific but far from good with a horrible Travolta
and a sleepwalking Denzel, that ghastly stupid swirly camera work I
hate- it's NOT clever boys, just let me watch the fucking film- and
a terrible, "only in a movie" ending. Didn't hate it like I expected
to, but still another movie I watch and think "why'd they fucking
bother?" 