Hey

It is my very sad duty to inform you that there will be no more Bill and his Dad stories, unless they're told from memory, cos my Dad died about six this evening, here at the house.

Took all of us by surprise, including, I'm pretty sure, him. I'd just gone downstairs to work out and my Mom had gone into the kitchen to fix his supper, when I hear her hollering, so I go back upstairs, he's on the couch with his mouth gawped open and his slitted eyes rolled back in his head- fuck, I hadn't been out of the room two minutes, he'd been fine when I left- and my Mom's shaking him and yelling "Wake up, Bit, wake up!". Fuck me running.

Mom: He started making these choking sounds I came in here to check on him and now I can't get him to wake up.
Bill: Let me see him. Why don't you go in the kitchen and call 911?

I took his hand, couldn't get any grip in response, I peeled one of his eyelids back, got nothing but white. Then he starts doing that last gasp thing, taking those final deep, slow breaths.

B: Ma- you really need to go call 911.

I knew there was no point, I just didn't really want her in there watching. Amazingly, she listened to me and went to call 911, and I stood there and watched the life go out of my Dad's face. His skin lost all it's color, going first waxy, and then gray. Of course, my Mom then has to come back in, tries to start slapping his face and demanding he "Wake up!" some more.

B: Ma, please, don't smack his face like that.

She looks at me all forlorn.

M: Bill, I think you're Daddy's dying.
B: I think you're right, Ma.

I mean, what do you say to that? She hauls back, like she's gonna beat him back to life. That's a fucking Bitner for you.

B: No, here, don't . . . just take hs hand
M: What?
B: Just hold his hand, like I'm doing.

I tried to come up with some eloquent parting words, couldn't think of any, so I told him I loved him, and thanked him for being a good Dad, and then he died. As deaths go, I don't guess it was all that bad- it was relatively quick, and he didn't seem to be in any pain- but I still have to tell you, watching your Dad die right before your eyes is a moving experience, in a way I'd just as soon not have been moved, thank you.

At least, thank God, we'd had a decent afternoon together, my last words to him weren't "You're drivng me out of my mind you evil old fuck". He's been sleeping a lot in the afternoon lately while my Mom watched her soaps, we figured his napping was contributing to his wanting to stay up all night, so I'd started watching TV with him in the afternoon while my Mom watched her soaps upstairs, I told him we'd watch whatever he wanted, which turned out to be The A-Team (a show I never could stand the first time it was on, "Hannibal, tell that fool to shut up. Shut up fool!") at 2 pm and Bonanza at 3, and he seemed to enjoy it, and I will always be damn glad I spent this last afternoon with him.

Am I sad? Fuck yeah, terribly so, but even more I feel kind of lost, my Dad has been one of the cornerstones of my life, my entire life, and it feels very strange for him to be gone. He was one of a damn kind and this world is a lesser place without him, I promise you. And as much as he's driven me insane this past year, I already miss his big crazy ass. But a lot of him died with the stroke, he was miserable with the way he'd been since, hopefully he's not miserable anymore.

(I GUESS THIS MEANS YOU'RE SHERIFF, NOW).

I guess so.

Got a busy day tomorrow, I'm going to leave you with something, it's the worst cliche in the damn world and people only trot it out when something like this nuts their care not asses, but I'm going to say it anyway, and that's if you care about someone, you need to treat them every day like it's the last one they'll ever have, cos I'd be hurting a lot worse right now than I am if my last words to the crazy old shit that sired me, and did his damn best to bring me up right, had been mean ones.

RIP, old man. You earned it.

Later

Bill

Raleigh W. Bitner Jr., 79, of Cross Lanes, passed away Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2006, at his residence. He was born Nov. 23, 1927, at Martinsburg, and was a son of the late Georgie Pierce Bitner and Raleigh W. Bitner. Raleigh was a veteran of World War II, having served in the 139th Army Air Corps Squadron of the 8th Air Force. He also served his country in the Korean Conflict as a member of the U.S. Air Force and was a member of The Army Air Corps Squadron Alumni Association. Raleigh was retired from AT&T and was a member of First Baptist Church, Dunbar, Cross Lanes Lions Club, where he served as past president, the Telephone Pioneers, and the Telephone Chorellers and was active in the Cross Lanes Lions Club Softball Little League. Surviving are his beloved wife of 52 years, Dorothy Blair Bitner; son, Raleigh W. “Bill” Bitner of Cross Lanes; daughters, Lori Bitner Ward and her husband, Tim, of Gallipolis, Ohio, and Tina Bitner Bragg of Charleston; grandchildren, Sarah Bitner and Rachel Bitner of Baltimore, Md., Lindsay, Jeremy, Heather and Eric Ward, all of Gallipolis, Ohio, and Tommy Bragg of Huntington. Funeral services will be 1 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 2, at Keller Funeral Home, Dunbar, with burial to follow in Tyler Mountain Memory Gardens. Friends may call from 6 to 8 p.m. Friday at Keller Funeral Home, Dunbar. Raleigh was a loving and devoted husband, father and grandfather who will be sadly missed by his family and many friends.