Hey

I'll not be having that nonsense either, nor shall you . . . but this nonsense is another matter entirely. Please, sir, may I have another? Yes, you may.

Just a quick one while he's away, to kill some of the time this afternoon I thought I'd be spending with Sarah, she got a late start (that's Daddy's girl) and got stuck in traffic at Frederick, MD (fuck that fascist state, anyway), also I wanted to get one more issue out before the (SEVENTH ANNUAL!?!) New Year's Eve Edition. Yow.

More fan mail in the mail bag, always good to hear from new readers (you know who you are), bunch of belated birthday wishes, regarding new(ish) readers, also got a bunch of comments about the bikini shot of Loretta in last issue, "THAT'S Loretta," uh, yeah, I'm wondering why all the response, thinking Joe just ran that photo not that long ago, haven't they already seen it . . . then realized not that long ago's been about two and half years, apparently there's lots of newcomers (so to speak) hopped aboard the runaway NL train since then.

In a similar vein I was recommending John D. MacDonald to someone the other day (I've heard the Travis McGee novels described as the ultimate male fantasy, which I can see, you got a problem with that?), he asked if John D. was still alive, I told him (cos I remember well the day he died), "nah, he's been dead about ten years or so," which is how it seems. He died in 1986. Sigh.

I sincerely hope everyone is having a nice Christmas season. Tried to get into it this year, did a little better, before that mood/energy vampire that spawned me worked her evil magic. She absolutely sucks the life out of everything around her. Took her to Kroger today, cos she couldn't/wouldn't get her list together earlier in the week when the store was much less crowded, once there- fuck it. It was miserable, leave it at that, I don't feel like detailing it.

Lori's got her out now doing some last minute Christmas shopping. I wish I could get more fucking help like that, not just at Christmas.

(I WISH I COULD SHOOT DEATH RAYS OUT OF MY EYES, BUT I DON'T EXPECT THAT TO HAPPEN, EITHER).

Sad, but true. Moving on . . .

The Living Fossil is now the Retired Living Fossil. And now doing her fossilized living in St. Albans! Wonderful. I was serious, dear, when's the party?

And what has Bill been doing?

Still working some at the scrapyard, Ronnie, who really is the new Robbie, comes in complaining about something on the little mag "fuxalatin'". I guess I got that smirky look on my face, cos he looks at me and says-

Ronnie: Fuxalitin'. You know, going up and down? 
Bill: Well, sure. I certainly go up and down when I'm fuxalitin'.

(SOMETIMES I GO SIDE TO SIDE)

I don't think that's fuxalatin'.

(MAYBE NOT. BUT IT'S FUN)

Had a MC at Chris's last weekend, drank four healthy shots of Basil Hayden single barrel bourbon, very smooth, five Harpoon IPA, two Rogue Brutal Bitter, good, but I saw a six pack at Kroger today for $12.97, are you kidding me?- and a Guiness, plus smoked a Monte Carlo White and a- I can't remember, Rosa brought a bunch of them for my birthday, it sounded South American.

(CARMEN MIRANDA?)

Yeah, that's it. She brought me Carmen Miranda, and I smoked her.

We watched the new Indiana Jones movie, which was enjoyable for free, I'd have been pissed if I paid for it, but again Nostalgia Man got all . . . nostalgic, it seems like just last summer that Loretta and I (and Terry Cox, nee- and once again- MacQueen) were sitting in the Independence Mall theater in Wilmington, NC- this after The Sabres Invason of the British Isles was repulsed with heavy casualties on our side, felt just like King Harold, I did- watching the first IJ movie and going, "Man, that was GOOD." Loretta and I went to a lot of movies at that mall that summer- For Your Eyes Only, Heavy Metal, American Werewolf in London, Escape From New York- and I swear to Christ, I can't watch any one of those films when its not suddenly 1981 again for me. Which sucks.

Bill Vs. Computers Fall One Million. Went to Al's Sunday so Joe could retrieve a couple stories in Kat's computer there- Adventures In The Sunshine State, post apocolyptic hijinks destined for A Is for Alien, and Night Fishing (T Is For Thing), wherein I brutally murder poor Joe- well, I don't do it, a CIA summoned unkillable demon does it, but you know what I mean- and the motherfucking hard drive crashed. Have I ever mentioned I HATE COMPUTERS? Cos I do.

However, that damn Dell bitch failed to reckon with my boy Joe, who took it back to his house and not only rescued my stuff from its vile electronic innards, but made it squeal like a pig while doing so. At least I hope he did.

What's Bill been reading?

(PROBABLY NOTHNG AS GOOD AS THAT LAST PARAGRAPH)

A Dawn Like Thunder, about Torpedo Squadron Eight, who went in first and alone at Midway, cos they went the right way and everyone else went the wrong way (competence once again proving to be its own punishment), a move which resulted in all fifteen of their Devasators being shot down, with one- that's one- out of the thirty pilots and crew surviving, and five of the six Avengers, and the one Avenger not shot down still had one of the three men on it killed. Just like that, twenty out of twenty one planes shot down, forty five out of forty eight men killed. God bless every one of them.

Also read The Turnaround by George Pelicanos, still think he's overrated, Hell Bent by Tapply, pretty good, couple Ultimate X-Men graphic novels that had to be out of sync (internally) cos they were incomprehensible, a Wolverine print novel that was surprisingly good, and Those About to Die, that Sarah got me for my birthday, best book EVER about the Roman gladitorial system, I had it in college and some dick stole it, seriously, very good book, and let me tell you, the barbarians were the good guys, Rome needed to fucking fall. Hard.

Watching? Got a Space Angel DVD, which I was big on back in 62-63, doesn't hold up as well as I'd remembered (although naturally my favorite episode isn't on this DVD). The art was great, as would be expected from guys like Wildey (Jonny Quest) and Toth (Space Ghost), but the stories are slow, the only aliens are the Albino Space Egyptians Who Live On The Moon (what I call 'em, anyway), and they're not very exciting, the characters mouths are all done in synchro vox, where actual human lips are superimposed, which is either A. goofy B. creepy C. distracting D. all of the above.

Also got the second season of Night Gallery, but haven't watched any yet.

Of course I'm still watching you.tube, I pretty much use it as a jukebox while I'm on the computer, got a lot of positive comments about the placement of the Tremeloes clip at the top of last issue, I agree, I think it might be cool to top the next few issues with a gem oldie (as well as end them with a nude cos I'm not gonna get to Lyz tonght, again), my suggestion for this issue is "Go Now" by the Moody Blues (not that big on the band, but this is a fucking killer song), the one where they're all lined up singing in their black turtlenecks.

Also watched the Hawkwind documentary, it was good, someone remarked on my comments about them last issue, "Sounds like the Tang Spoons to me", well you know, other than the six foot Amazon (actually she was 6' 2" and hot as shit when she started, but hard living quickly took its toll) taking her clothes off onstage- Loretta shook her ass, not to mention her afuche cabasa, but she stayed clothed- but the rest of it- "get buzzed literally out of your mind, then sing abut all this crazy SF stuff while playng the same three chords all night at 120 decibels"- you got me.

What's Bill listening to? Got a couple new SSSLB CDs, after many fruitless tries I finally got the Pretty Things "The Psychedelic Years 1966-1970" double CD, every bit as good as I'd hoped it would be, the PTs have been praised in here many times for their excellent early work- they called it Brit R & B, if so, it was heavy handed R & B- this comp has great stuff on it like Defecting Grey, Ballroom Burning, October 26 (mundane title for a really good song) and a killer live version of Well Of Destiny. Good stuff.

Not so good is Out To Hunch by Hasil Adkins. Him being a WV boy and all, I've heard maybe a million times how great he is (in a sort of super Jesco savant type way), I'm not hearing it. At all. No more hot dogs, indeed.

Drinking? Rolling Rock, on my Mom's damn tab. I threw a twelve pack in the cart today when we were at Kroger, and it doesn't even come close to paying me for my trouble.

Okay, and that's how far I got by 7 pm Tuesday (last) night, when I was interrupted by a phone call telling me Sarah had been in a bad car crash on I-79 and was being taken to Braxton County Hospital. Fortunately I wasn't so deep into the Rolling Rock that I couldn't make it up there, and, whew, here's the damage . . .

Sarah's jaw is broken badly, will probably have to be wired. She also has two spinal fractures, one in her neck, one in her back. They're both stable, meaning she's not paralyzed, but she will probably have to wear either a neck collar, back brace, or both, till they heal. Her face is just all smashed up, her front teeth all broken, and she has some wicked gashes where some of the teeth ripped through her lip. Plus assorted minor injuries. I'm telling you, just looking at her is enough to almost bring a strong man to tears she looks so pitiful. But she's hanging tough and making her Daddy proud.

She's been transferred to the trauma step down ward at Charleston General (5 South), I just came from there (it's 4:30 am, this computer clock is screwed), gonna try to get a couple hours sleep (Sarah's sedated, should sleep for a while herself) and then head back up there. Any of you praying type folk who want to put her on your list for a full recovery, as always, it's appreciated, but I'm going to tell you, she's already been blessed cos she's alive and can move her arms and legs.

Merry Christmas (no irony intended).

Later

Bill