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12/31/03 Backsliding Fearlessly
Hey I was gonna call this one "Death May Be Your Santa Claus", being in a Mott mood and all, but since Christmas is past I thought that would be a little passe, so . . . Before we get into what's been up with Bill, I hope all of you had an excellent Christmas, and you all got what you asked for (and not what you deserve). What has been up with Bill? Well, since it's been two weeks since the last one of these- only 42 of them this year, as opposed to last year's 50- a little backtracking. Went to Joe and Laura's Christmas thing on the 20th, had a good time, lots of food, drank some Newcastle. Also somebody's Pub ale, not bad, and some Brooklyn lager, pretty lousy, but then what do you expect from New York, after Paris the most overrated city on fucking Earth. Send your hate mail to someone who gives a shit. Stopped on the way home from Joe's to get a 22 oz. at the Chevron convenience store there at the Poca bridge, there's some Brit guy working there, said his name was Mahtin but I bet he meant Martin, nice guy, I was taken quite aback to hear this Brit accent from a convenience store clerk in Poca. He was quite talky, and a bit jumpy as well, it was about 10 minutes before closing time and he asked if I'd stick around till then- there were a couple guys hanging around in the parking lot, he said they'd been out there close to an hour, I'd noticed them coming in, they were making him nervous. I agreed with him, I sort of got weird vibes from them as well, and as I've found out, and I imagine you have as well, if something doesn't look or feel right to you there's probably a good reason. Anyway, I said I would for a free beer. I was just kidding, but he twisted the top off that Bud and handed it to me- "Done, mate." Being a Brit I guess he didn't realize we Yanks can't just drink our beer on the streets or in our convenience stores like they can over there- we don't have topless women on page 3 of our newspapers either, but that's a different complaint. I stood there and drank my beer and Martin nattered on- he married some Poca girl whom he met in the UK when she was there with the Army, they just moved to the US, out Manila Creek- culture shock, you bet, but he nicely said he likes it over here, he used those crazy Brit expressions like "barking mad" and "cack handed"- B: Don't you mean backhanded? Eleven o'clock came and it was time to close, those two goofs were still out in the parking lot, I was done with my 22 oz., I said "How about one for the road?", Martin said sure, so I got a 40 oz this time, Martin says, "You got a big one this time. Good on ya.", he locked up and he got in his car and I got in mine and we drove off, those two goofs were STILL in the parking lot as we were leaving, have no idea what, if anything, they were up to, but GOOD ON YA guys, thanks for the free beers. The girls came in, or to me, anyway, Christmas Eve, will be with me till Saturday the 3rd, that's a lot more time than all the other visits combined since they moved to Baltimore in August. It's been very good for me on a number of levels, one of which is to just give me something worthwhile to do with my time, my major decision most days these past few months being just which thumb I'm going to stick up my ass. They've complained tons since they've been in about living with their mom and Paul, and about his sons, who don't seem to have any better moral fiber than their father- somehow his sons- they're adults, 23 and 25- got into the computer there at the house and were reading the girls private stuff, including their e- conversations, and then discussing it, which is how they got caught- pretty fucking skanky. Loretta has also been pretty fucking hateful with them since they've been here, but then that's her nature. The other side of it, however, is that they knew what they were getting into when they moved. So while it bothers me that they're as unhappy with their mom and her ways as they are, they also made their own beds. Nuff said.
Jack invited me to have Christmas dinner with them, very nice of him but I fortunately already had plans, not really sure what vegans eat for Christmas, probably that tofurky york. Joe should know, I think he was there. Actually, Jack's invited me for dinner about a dozen times since I've been living out here, eleven of those times it's been split pea soup, which must be a vegan staple. I like normal split pea soup but his stuff looks like goo goo muck, this diarrheal sludge the consistency of paste, I declined each time. The other time he was cooking lentils, and as they smelled damn good I said yes, and was glad I did, he cooks them with diced tomatoes and onions and cumin and they were excellent. I used to make a nice lentil soup myself back in the days when the girls were small, the first time it appeared on the menu they weren't so sure, so I told them it was X-Men soup and all the X-Men ate it, that was all it took, "Daddy, when are we having X-Men soup again?". Went up to Chris's last Friday and watched the first two LOTR DVDs in their extended versions, with a break for pizza in between, with Chris blowing the girls minds recounting his drug addled younger days while we were eating. On the ride home they kept going "CHRIS?!" Yes, Chris. Chris's new giant screen thing is FANTASTIC, gotta have a Movie Club up there real soon (dibs on the other Star Trek Captain's chair, I mean it, gotta watch those Led Zeppelin DVDs), then went to see "The Return Of The King" on Sunday, if you haven't seen it already I imagine you will so any review would be superfluous, but it was good, everyone enjoyed it, went out for Chinese afterward.
D: Do you like Scrabble? Now, normally this would result in a - D: I MEAN SCRABBLE!- but Dr. Feelgood goes- D: Maybe. It's made out of pig . . . stuff. Not nearly as funny, but it sure beats getting yelled at by some crazy man in the grocery store. Watch what you read. My mom and Vince, who's apparently somewhat devout, were talking religion on Christmas- boy, to have been a fly on that wall- and she told him, apparently in total seriousness, that the reason why Tina and I weren't religious is because of all that weird Science Fiction stuff we read as kids. Okay. Also on the family thing, I'm gonna start going out to my parents and fixing dinner for them once a week, give my Mom a break from cooking, and my Dad a break from my Mom's cooking. This isn't something I came up with, my Dad suggested it, but it will be good for me as well, I hardly ever cook out here anymore just for myself.
What's Bill been reading? Still working on all those music books I bought a while back, read the Best Mystery Stories anthologies for '97 through '01 cos they were library books and needed to go back, tried to read "Zulu Heart", an alternate world thing where Africa colonized the New World, but it's not very good, I put it aside after about 50 pages, Bitner's law says I have to finish it, but it won't be soon. Watching? Sci-Fi is rerunning the old Outer Limits, been watching that a lot, great show, still need to get them on DVD, there was Bill as scientist on one of the ones they showed today- Woman: Are they alive? The only problem with watching all those old Outer Limits is now I walk around all the time with that creepy Outer Limits theme going through my head. Actually, I guess it already was . . . Also watched Pearl Jam on the DirecTV freeview stuff this month, live they're a really good guitar band, Mike McReady does some nice Hendrixy stuff, plays a lot of great guitars as well. Eddie Vedder can play a decent rhythm when he picks up the guitar, gives them that good 3 guitar churn thing, as opposed to that horrific old Molly Hatchet type 3 guitar drool. The girls were appalled at Eddie's new haircut, though. Also watched the Allman Brothers, sweet Jesus they're old, Greg Allman looks like some damn burn victim or something, his face is all swollen and his eyes barely open and even when he sings his lips never move, creepy, he looks like that rubber mask they made for Kevin Bacon in "Hollow Man" after someone attached it to a bicycle pump. Refused to watch U2, there are few bands I despise as much as that bunch of pompous fucks, people talk about their lyrics, fucking hell, LISTEN to them, they're this bullshit populist pablum that sounds profound but doesn't fucking SAY ANYTHING, my Kill Bono t-shirt- crybaby Bono threatened to sue so they were withdrawn, you big PUSSY- is one of my more treasured possessions. Fuck Bono, fuck U2.
Got an e-mail complaining that I need to go back to recommending movies on TV before they come on, instead of talking about them after I've watched them, you make a good point, sir, but what actually sold me was when you said you watched "Night And The City" on my recommendation and loved it. Good on ya. I haven't had a chance to go through the new DirecTV guide for January, but I will, and will include recommendations next issue. Got an e-mail from Dick (excellent poem, by the way) and I think he and I are of the same mind when it comes to the "What doesn’t kill you" cliché. Some cliches are so because you can't argue with them- "Never eat anything larger than your head"- well, duh. Some are cliches simply because they rhyme, even though they don't make any sense- one I heard a lot a while back was, "It takes two to make it, it takes two to break it", which, while being totally false the instant you actually think about it, also contradicts itself- if it takes two to make it, then by the cliches own fucking logic, of course, just like in real life, it only takes ONE to break it. Along these lines, anyone who comes up to me at some future bereavement which I hope never happens, but if it does, and says either "Everything happens for the best" or "God never gives us anything we can't handle", I will feel entirely justified in killing you. Anyway, that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing. Sounds good, but it's bullshit. Just because it doesn't kill you doesn't mean it can't break you down and make you a shadow of your former self. Forever. The Charleston All Pro show is still on for 2/7, having problems with the venue but never fear. Still hope to have Tommy Rich there, he's been asked, haven't heard yea or nay from him. Bob is wanting me to go back up to Cleveland with him next month, I probably will, but I have to say, ever since I cracked my head on that concrete floor up there I keep having these spacey drift away episodes, even more so than usual. Oh well, the damage is probably already done, so what the hell. Feeling pretty tired, I think I'm going to wrap this up. If you're going out- well, I guess it's tonight, now- have a wonderful time, but watch yourselves. I'm staying in with the girls, or maybe just Rachel, Sarah may go to a party, watch movies and eat wings and mozzarella sticks and poppers and just chill. Take care, I'll talk to you next year.
(HOW ABOUT ME?) Go ahead, you've been very quiet of late. (VIOLENCE, VIOLENCE (THAT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!) And that's what I'm talking about as well. Good on ya. Later Bill
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I don't care what the people may say 
Went to Lori's for Christmas Day, actually wasn't bad considering how
much I wasn't into Christmas this year, TONS of food, everyone else seemed
to have a good day. Watched a couple movies up there, "Pirates Of The
Caribbean", everyone talks about Johnny Depp in this, and he is
amusing as this total fey bomb, but at two and half hours the movie is way
too long for the story it's trying to tell. Also watched the latest Tomb
Raider movie, Angelina Jolie was her usual tasty looking self, she comes
across as being a very sensuous person in real life, I bet she and I could
have a lot of fun together, the movie however wasn't nearly as over the
top as I would've wanted or expected, sort of dull, in fact. Watch 'em for
free if you get the chance, but I wouldn't spend any money on them.
My dad has lost another 6 pounds, damn near svelte, he's real serious
about keeping alive so he can continue to drive me bug fucking nuts, he's
gonna start working out at the cardiac rehab unit at CAMC after the first
of the year, he talked to his doc and had him set it up. He's feeling a
lot better, so he's not nearly as crabby. We were in the grocery store the
other day when he asks out of the blue-
What's Bill drinking? Budweiser. I'm thinking after the first of the
year of becoming a snob, and only drinking really good beer. I've drunk
enough good beer this past year that the old Bud is just losing it's
appeal, really the only appeal it has is it's buzz factor. We'll see.
Listening to? One of the best bands of all time, Mott The Hoople. They
had that great rhythm guitar crunch, great riffs, killer songs with titles
like "Thunderbuck Ram" (that was going to be my porn star name,
but I never became a porn star- my decision, not theirs), Ian Hunter's
supercool Brit accented singing- all those other singers from that time
would talk their thick ass Britboy stage patter, then sing like the guy
who worked at the gas station on the corner- a bass player named Overend
who played a white Thunderbird- great band. Their first four albums, the
ones pre- "All the Young Dudes", have just been reissued on CD,
check 'em out, seriously.
Walking down this rocky road 
