2/3/03

Bigger Than Big

Bigger than big, taller than tall 
Quicker than quick, stronger than strong

Yeah that would be the Death Falcon. That's actually the beginning of the theme song to "Gigantor" (YEAH, THAT WOULD BE THE DEATH FALCON). For those of you not fortunate enough to have been kids in the mid 60's, well, first off, you should petition God or someone, cos you got screwed, secondly, you missed out on Gigantor, this weird, pointy nosed giant Japanese robot who fought all these way cool monsters and giant aliens and other robots and shit, and was a damn great cartoon. Saw it in Best Buy today, all 26 first season episodes for 50 bucks, also Captain Scarlet and a bunch of other neat shit, Chris, we're gonna have to go shopping together there sometime, I'll pick, you buy. Course, you'd probably pick just about the same shit as me (just as long as you buy).

Took the girls down there, and to the Huntington Mall proper today, to spend some of their Christmas gift certificates, they found all kinds of stuff, came away happy, we went over to Applebee's (where, shit fire, they're advertising green apple martinis as the new trendy drink- aaaarrrgggghh) afterward and ate, a good day. I got the Rodan DVD for $9.99, trying not to spend on shit I don't need, but I needed that.

We were going to go down early, I was just going to take them with me when I went to Ashland this morning to train, but Bobby cancelled, he's not feeling so good. Why?

We'll go ahead and get into that now. You faithful all know the DF was set to do a run in last Friday in Ashland. Bobby finally decided the DF would jump HIM, which is cool, may as well start at the top.

To get around the fact that Bobby doesn't want the DF to speak, but to take advantage of my mike skills, he decided to split me into 2 people- shit ass new CPW CEO Bill McMahon (I know), as well as his evil henchman, the Death Falcon. Jesus Christ, if I'd known I was going to start back up so strong, I'd have had all you guys come down, instead of waiting till next month.

I opened the show in the ring on the mike, ran down the crowd (and not that stupid, you're all hillbillies shit, I'm light years beyond that), they were really hating me, it was cool, got into it with this midget in the crowd (I KNOW), he was getting worked up, I looked at the security guy, pointed to the midget and said "Toss him," the midget got PISSED, I sort of apologized for it later to Bobby, he said, "Fuck it, midgets and antiques, I hate 'em both" (!?!).

Bobby and I got some serious heat going, I busted him from main event to opening match, made their Jr. Heavyweight champ (Buzzsaw Jones, HA, where do they get these names) wrestle this great huge fucker cos he didn't make weight by 1 pound, shit like that, the crowd was really fucking buying it, got the DF aligned with the main heels (J-Rocc and Adam Cage, the current champ, pretty nice guys, actually) from Cleveland All Pro, so when Bob and I go up for TV tapings next month I'm already in with the Regime (that's what they call themselves), fuck what those goof balls who were down here wanted.

It went great, Bob was scheduled to pin J-Rocc in the next to last match (it's too complicated to go into how he got to wrestle twice), after that the Death Falcon was to charge the ring and clock Bobby in the head with this metal box full of change and bust him open, then DF and J-Rocc would put the boots to Bob. The plan was that I was to hit him hard enough to actually cut him (You sure, Bobby?- Yeah, I'm sure.- I'll need to hit you pretty hard.- Fuck, hit me as hard as you want.- Okay . . . ), but he had a razor in his wrist tape to gig himself if need be.

Well- he didn't need to. He brain busts J-Rocc (good move), DF0 comes sliding under the ropes, Bob stands up- and the Death Falcon hammers the living SHIT out of home town hero big boy Bobby Blaze. I wasn't trying to be an asshole in the slightest, he said hit him hard, and I'm thinking, better a legit cut than a gig, so I absolutely real life smashed him. FUCKING HELL. I busted his ass wide open. The crowd's going APESHIT (some old guy's hollering-"It's that goddamn son of a bitch in a mask!" Well, yeah) and I get inspired, instead of stomping him, I haul his (very wobbly) ass to his feet by his hair, and parade him around the ring, showing the crowd how bad I fucked him up and telling them to kiss my slanted ass crack, while he's bleeding like a mother fucker from this really sincere gash in his forehead. J-Rocc's going under his breath "Dude, lighten up", couldn't help it, I was into it.

Told Bobby later I was sorry I slipped and had the DF speaking English in the ring, he's like, "Oh, were you, I didn't notice. Is this the night train to Birmingham?" He was concussed as shit, and Doc said no training on Sunday.

Good show, great intro for the Death Falcon. Bob's plan is for the DF to wrestle squashes till the big 10th anniversary show in May, but to keep jumping him after his matches, to set up a big confrontation between Bobby Blaze and Death Falcon Zero for then (where I fear the DF is scheduled to get his comeuppance). This is subject to change at any time, however, they were switching shit around like crazy up until the last minute, Friday night.

The two big deals for me are that Mark Mercedes and the Australian IWA bunch are going to be here for the February show, Bob's already talked to him about me, there's an 80/20 chance right now to the positive that I'll be signing a contract to wrestle for 2 weeks in Australia in August. How fucking cool.

Also, Bob's guy he's pushing as the promotion's (CPW) top face, Jeremy "The Beast" Bates- he's a pro boxer, good, been on ESPN and HBO undercards, big good looking kid, had him a little entourage there Friday night (tits, man, those girls had some tits), I was absolutely prepared to hate him, after his girls and hangers on cleared out, I went over and introduced myself, he was "Very nice to meet you sir, heard a lot of good things about you, etc, etc," very polite, very respectful, couldn't have been nicer. Shit, you never can tell. 

Anyway, Dan "The Beast" Severn of NWA and WWF and UFC (he choked out Ken Shamrock) fame is scheduled to wrestle Jeremy in a Beast against Beast match at the CPW show in May. Think he'd be a cool guy to meet, also he has lots of Japanese contacts, and you can never have too many friends in this business. Looking forward to it.

Enough wrestling for this issue. What else has been up?

Well, I've got water now, but no television. Have I mentioned that I FUCKING HATE DIRECTV? God bless America, they're the dicks of the world. It went out last Saturday- not yesterday, a week ago yesterday- been calling them, of course you get that automated press this number if, but none of the options are, If you're not getting what you need, it's all about, If you need to pay us more- so the last option is, if you need to talk to someone hold on the line. Held on the other day for 39 minutes and no one ever came on. Mother fucking scum bags, I HATE 'EM. 

Should find out this week if Sarah passed her audition. Tired of putting the good face on-

I hope she didn't. It's not about me, though I'd miss them like death if they moved away. I mean, if they go, no responsibility for me, go to Australia or Japan or where the fuck ever, don't have to work if I don't want to, live like a 19 year old again. But I'm scared as hell about the lack of supervision they'd have in Baltimore, Loretta's too into her new life style deal to want them in anything other than in principal, and for appearances sake, and the girls have both told me things these past 3 weeks that they've been with me, which are too personal to go into here, that- if they go to Baltimore, it's a disaster waiting to happen, I truly believe.

Going over to DF Sean's tomorrow night, to Ashland to train Tuesday morning, over to David's after that to get some stuff down on the Infernex, to Jean's Wednesday, back to Ashland Thursday, gonna meet Jason and Joe for some Newcastle Draft at the Cold Spot Friday (anybody wanna join us, feel free, I'm serious) then out here for some more Infernex work. Just cos I'm not working don't mean I'm not busy.

Had Joe copy this video my dad made for my mom for Christmas of all the old 8mm home movies we had, he pulled a frame and did a DF thing, put it in this issue, Joe, okay?

What's Bill drinking? Budweiser, actually. This training shit means I have to take my pleasure where I can find it, and other than taking the girls to school tomorrow morning, I have a free day.

Listening to? Uhm- the Grateful Dead. Got some books at the library Thursday after taking the girls to the theater (they did wonderfully, by the way, during this whole run of 14 shows)- No Depression, interviews from the magazine of the same name, which covers "Alternative Country", stupid term but a decent magazine, Break On Through, big thick fucker about the Doors, Bill Graham Presents, about BG, one about Van Morrison, Space Is the Place, about Sun Ra (looking forward to reading that fucker, he was crazed, and I fucking admire crazed) and the GD reader, which happened to be on top when I got them home, so I'm reading it first.

I have 4 GD CD's (hey, cut me some fucking slack- being intense 24/7 is hard damn work, and leads to shit like ulcers and insomnia and alcohol abuse and aberrant alter egos), I'd like to get one of those extended psychedelic live Dick's Picks, but can't find the one I want, which is #4 by the way, if you see it, buy it for me, I'll pay you back, only one I have that I listen to much is Live/Dead, listening to it now.

Always envied Jerry Garcia, he always had a money paying outlet for his artistic endeavors, music or painting or whatever, always had bands going, all different kinds, he could play electric or acoustic, or banjo or steel or what fucking ever he wanted, he could just stand there and jam and space out, nobody ever fucked with HIS ass for being laid back, never had to worry about getting or keeping a fucking real job, traveled all over, and he got tons of pussy.

Not to be a dick, but on his best looking day in this world Garcia was still a four square shit stone ugly mother fucker, and he always had women out the ass. From the photos I've seen, some of that stuff I wouldn't fuck with Joe's dick, but some of it, man, it was fucking prime.

An interlude. Used to put every little, "now I'm going to piss, now I'm back" in these, quit that a long time ago, anyway, been away for about an hour, heard Sarah crying in her room, went in to see what was wrong, she's upset and confused, she really wants to go to that acting school, really doesn't want to live with her mom, Loretta's called them ONCE in the past 9 days, out of sight out of mother fucking mind for Ms "Have Cunt, Will Travel", Sarah said she tried to talk to her mom about it and was told, "I'm moving, come live in my new big house or be a loser and stay in your dad's fucking double wide, your choice, I'm moving either way." Sarah's like, that house is more important to her than we are, and what do you fucking SAY to that? The truth, yes, it is? I simply can't understand how Loretta can jack these kids around like she does and not feel a thing.

We don't want to end this edition on a downer, however, so we won't.

Been cooking a lot lately (had the girls the past 3 weeks, no choice), made them a nice quiche the other day, quick recipe, lets see, this is off the top of my head- 9 inch deep dish pie crust, cook 8 slices bacon, drain, shred 8 ounces Swiss cheese, put bacon and cheese in pie crust, mix 1 cup cream, 1/2 cup milk, half teaspoon Coleman's dry mustard, salt and pepper, I like to put in a dash of cayenne- not much, or you'll fuck it up, pour over the stuff in the pie shell, bake at 375 for 45 minutes, that's the recipe but in my oven out here you have to bake longer, 50 minutes or so, so after 45 do the knife in the center doneness test, if you don't know how to do that, GET YOUR NUMBNUTS ASS OUT OF THE FUCKING KITCHEN.

This just makes your nice basic Quiche Lorraine, you can gussy it up with other shit if you want to, but why?

What's Bill drinking now? Well, since this fucker is dragging itself out tonight due to outside interruptions, we're all out of beer (only had 12, fuck) so now I'm drinking tequila and Fresca. Not as bad as it sounds (BULLSHIT). Okay, it is as bad as it sounds. But it was this or Wild Turkey, and it's too damn late to be opening the whiskey, I do have to get up in the morning. Pouring double shots, out of my Ramones double shot glasses that the girls got me for Christmas (do I have great kids, or what?) so this recipe is 4 shots tequila to a can of Fresca.

What's Bill listening to now? Buddy Holly. I refuse to apologize for being an old fucker, with old fucking tastes, and I'll tell you this, the day some wimpen little cocksucker like Eminem writes a song as good as "Not Fade Away" is the day I kiss your bare fucking ass on Main Street. Never going to happen. 

I promised some good websites last issue, and here they are (these are going to be a bear to type, drunk as I am). http://ejmas.com/jmanley/jmanleyart_gorm_0401.htm - if you don't think this is funny as hell, you're stupid- www.joebobbriggs.com - everybody's pretty much heard of him, check this out- and http://frazettaartgallery.com/ff/intex.html - you should've heard of Frank, lotta people want to crack on him cos, for one thing, his stuff has been misused as cover art for some ungodly shitty bands (can you say Molly Hatchet?) but I LOVE his artwork, especially the early Creepy/Eerie covers.

Think I'll blast, goodnight to you and yours.

But we will.

Later

Bill