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4/7/11 Don't Believe A Word
Hey Well, here I am back a month after I said I'd be back in a couple days. Only a few of you wrote in to call me on it which I guess means either most of you don't give a shit or else knew that I was talking out of my ass when I said it would only be a couple days. Back on Harmon's Creek (demon infested or not- and I become more convinced every day that it was and probably still is- I still miss that place) when my life was multiples simpler I could have come through. Now . . . Did get a letter from someone saying how she always enjoys reading about her "favorite badass bookworm". Sweet, though I'm not really a badass. (I AM) Well yeah, you, but me, I'm much more bookworm. Still, I wouldn't put either of us at the top of too many People It's a Good Idea To Fuck with lists. (NOR I) So, what's Bill been up to this past month? Since last issue I've had my Mom to her general practitioner three times (they should just give her her own room) but I'm not minding as much cos they've hired a really cute new nurse who's also very sweet, if utterly naive ("You have a very nice Mom." "You want her?"), also her lung doctor once and to Thomas for a chest x-ray once. They're all in ageement her increasing fatigue and lack of mental acuity are due to low oxygen levels in her blood courtesy of the increasing calcification of her fucked up lungs, the chest pains a result of her exertion while trying to breathe. They've boosted her inhalers to some super strong shit and she's on home oxygen 24/7 now which seems to be helping her breathing if not her disposition. Very nice Mom my fucking ass, you live with her. Sarah is doing well, started a new job last week as a financial advisor at some college in NYC (I know, a Bitner as financial advisor- "Future? What the fuck's that? Spend all your money today and HAVE A GOOD TIME. Oh yeah, and buy me a fucking beer"), it's stressing her some cos the person she replaced left abruptly, which is how Sarah got hired as abruptly, and as Sarah says "left me for dead" so Sarah's struggling a bit learning- ha started to say running- the ropes though I'm sure she'll catch on soon. And she says the money is good which is the only fucking reason to work cos God knows I hate it. Says the man with two jobs. Scrapyard is still as close to not working as you can get, we had no- as in no- customers last Friday, I could have dropped my damn drawers and stood bare assed out on that scale from 8 to 2:30 and not a soul would have known it. But instead I read and rode Phil's exercise bike while Nancy was gone and did some yoga- you know I can balance better wearing those big ass heavy boots than I can barefoot? Crazy. Ronnie continues to be his stupid ass self. He was telling us about some new guards a few weeks ago. Ronnie: Them new guards is new cos they just done got here and
they's new. He listens to a scanner at night I guess so he can tell when one of his kids is going to jail and can get a jump on scraping up bond money but the other evening he got an earful of something else. Ronnie: That scanner picked up some people havin' phone sex. Reminds me of the time a few years ago when he saw two girls kissing in a convenience store parking lot up in Ripley. I thought the top of his indignant head was going to come off just telling me about it. B: What's the problem? Library job isn't bad but it's still fucking work. I've pretty much got the AJ yahoos lined out, the problem ones either got tired of me throwing ther asses out (and one has gotten himself banned for three months by the main office for calling me a prick on his way out the door after I tossed him for the third time in a week- didn't bother me, I mean if the shoe fits, but it set off my boss Susannah, so, see ya next fall ya little bitch) and quit coming in or they've cleaned up their act. But still on the nights we're open till 8 it doesn't quiet down enough for me to start reading till about 6 and on the nights we close early I hardly have time to read at all. (FUCKING SLAVEDRIVERS) I know. My little nemesis has been back in a couple times, once wearing a pair of sweats with CHAOS across the ass- as I've said, there is a Devil and he has a sense of humor- but she wasn't in last Friday and I'd be most happy if it stayed that way. Worked a couple Sundays ago at the main library with Henry, it was quiet enough I could find and check out another dozen books, working there this Sunday alone so if you come in behave your fucking self cos I'll be in no mood to play. Also be assigned there Spring Break week and this summer which idea I'm not in love with but the money is really very good, surprsingly so, so I'm going to do it. At least for a while. Other than that shitting ass work, what has Bill been doing? Had a rainy night MC a while back where we smoked cigars and drank beer on Rosa's narrow front porch and everyone went home early cos it was Friday which makes me sadder than you can know. Went over to Mike and Sig's for a St. Patrick's Day dinner of corned beef and cabbage. Sig is an exellent cook as I've noted before but this meal was just crazy good (and I know crazy), I had no idea corned beef and cabbage could be so fucking delicious being as I am used to my Mom's version- boil a cabbage for hours till it's gray mush and then open a cold tin of cheap Argentinian corned beef with its waxy yellow coating of congealed fat onto a plate and serve. I asked Sig for her recipe and her infinitely superior version follows- "Buy a corned beef"- (see Bill's version would start "Have someone buy you a corned beef")- "put in a pot of water (just enough water to cover the top) and bring to a boil. Then turn temperature down to between medium and low and cook for several hours until a fork can easily slide in- or best way to fix it is in a crockpot- cover with water and cook on high for six hours. The cabbage I thinly sliced along with onions (I used a mandolin slicer)- I fried some bacon pieces- removed when crispy- you may want to take out some of the bacon grease- then added the cabbage/onions- salt and pepper to taste- keep an eye on this stirring frequently- you want the onions to caramelize not burn and it is a fine line between the two." That's it. Simple and absolutely fucking great. I'll be back next year guys so you may as well invite me. Besides also drinknig beer and smoking cigars on his deck Mike and I watched the Runaways movie which wasn't all that great and Dakota Fanning as Cherie Curie was just creepy. Rode down with Rosa and Ron to Bluefield couple Saturdays ago to drop off some work clothes for Young Chris who's gotten a job at the GNC at the Mercer Mall. Had a blue cheese bacon burger at Macadoo's at the mall, not bad, then on our way back stopped at Applebee's in Princeton where it was happy hour and we got three big draft Yuengling (two for Bill, one for Ron) and a margarita for eleven bucks. Good deal. Rachel made it in. Hallelueh and about fucking time. She's looking good though she's not a bit happy, living with Loretta (and Paul) is not working out at all for her though we're not fighting that fight here (and it's not my fight anyway). She came in with her friend Paige (nice girl), they came to yoga Monday night but hung in the library till the relaxation stuff we do at the end- cherry pickers- then we went over to the River's Edge cafe (with a flat out gorgeous waitress) with Rosa and Ron for some drinks and a good time. Tuesday we just hung out at the house and God knows it was so nice to have Rachel under the same roof as her Daddy again, Wednesday we went to CL Cold Spot with Rosa and the Blizzard clan (Joe, Laura, Charlie and Andrea) for more beer and wings and another very good time (and where Laura picked up our tab God bless her generous heart- you think you could pick me up me a corned beef?). Rachel, Paige and I went up to BWW after everyone left CS and Bill had a couple Bass ales (I was drinking some very well constructed black and tans at the CS) and Rachel drank more than as her father I was happy to see but I have to admit she held it well (Paige was driving). Thursday we again just laid around the house and then Friday morning she left. Seems like she was just in and then gone but damn it was good to have her home again. And Sarah says she's going to try to come home over Memorial Day. Be really nice if it happens. Don't normally do obits of the well known in here cos I figure you can and do get them elsewhere but I would like to say RIP to Liz Taylor. She was a total bitch but in her day she was super hot. Great tits. (SHE WASN'T A BAD FUCK EITHER) Thanks for sharing. What's Bill been reading? In the good pile, bios of J.D. Salinger, Charles Addams and Will Eisner, and 60 Years of Fender with some sweet. sweet photos. Fender made some beautiful guitars- I always enjoyed playing Dave's Strat live and his Tele was absolutely the best sounding guitar I've ever played in my life- and reading this book made me realize Bill's musical spark isn't wholly extinguished. (PUT IT OUT ALREADY. PUT IT OUT!) I was running the channels one early am last month just too damn tired to read- I take it as a given any of you reading this know I don't sleep for shit but the insomnia has again gotten really bad- and came across Sonic (yeah, right) Youth and watched for a minute cos their front line were all playing different color sparkle finish Jazzmasters (Kim Gordon now plays as much guitar as bass, they got some other guy on bass full time) and while they sounded like shit they looked great. Also read an oversize book by Dave Gibbons on the creation of The Watchmen. And Water For Elephants, a couple folks including Danny had recommended it to me, I normally don't read stuff everyone else likes cos invariably I end up hating it but I saw it on the shelf one evening while I was killing time on the clock so I checked it out (and read a lot of it on the clock that evening) and guess what? It was good. In the okay pile another book about the Spanish Civil War which was a really fucked up affair (a veteran of both the Condor Legion and the Eastern Front called it "a bastard of a war"), I had no idea it was the true shit fest it was until I read these books recently, also Visitants (a horror collection), The Huckleberry Murders by Patruck McManus, Other Kingdoms by Richard Matheson, 2 early Repairman Jack novels and a short story collection by F. Paul Wilson (who got a $900,000 advance for a shit novel back in '94- I agree, fucking madness and I want in), 2 Necroscope books by Brian Lumley, an autobiography by Chris Jericho and an oversize about Kurt Cobain who was a sad and sorry fucker. Hard to believe it's been 17 years just the other day since he blew his brains out. I'd say it seems like yesterday but you already knew that. In the shit pile an autobiography by Dave Mustaine who's a crybaby asshole and I never liked Megadeath anyway. I think that's all in the shit pile which is a good average. Also- hold on let me count- 19 graphic novels, many of which I read on the clock- I've admittted working at the library has it's advantages- all DC stuff, Storming Paradise, pretty good, doing a what if take on the A-bomb not working and us having to invade Japan at the end of WW II, also some JLA (good to see the "A" back in there were it belongs), Teen Titans, Outsiders, Superman/Supergirl and Batman (wherein one, Zatanna comes on to Batman and the total dumbfuck turns her down). This is going to get me started again. A few weeks ago Chris sent me a pin-up of Dana Delaney (who looks quite fine and is a member of the Class of '56 by the way) which got me going on in my head about the old pin up collection I used to have of the ex. One of my- our actually- favorite pin up sets came when she was (mostly, and briefly) wearing what was rented as a "magician's assistant" outfit- top hat, tails, tiny, shiny shorts with fishnets, black heels- but we always referred to it as the Zatanna outfit. I say this a lot about many other times than now, but God I miss those days. What's Bill been watching? Some documentaries I got- where else?- at the library, one on Bukowski and one on James Ellroy (who at one point has dinner with a more normal looking but still attractive Dana Delaney- small world). Also one about the goofs who hang out on the streets of LA dressed as superheroes accepting tips for having their photo taken with you. Superman and Batman were fucking pathetic, Wonder Woman, while no Lynda Carter (and a little bigger in the caboose than Bill likes them) was still cute and mostly normal. Lastly, Made In Sheffiield about the electronic pop movement that started there in the mid-to-late 70's. I quite enjoyed that part, for one being wholly nostalgic for those times- I think I'm going to start a new acronym to go along with FOFN and SSSLB- GIMTD- which were for the most part very good- and more importantly optimistic-days for Bill. It's nice to believe you have a future. You sleep at night if nothing else. The music didn't do a great deal for me though I did pick up three early Cabaret Voltaire cassettes for a quarter each back when I was running the roads for Abraxas- GIMTD, see, I knew it would come in handy- one of which was really good, one okay and one unlistenable. But I liked the really good one and would listen to it today if I knew where the fuck it was. I lost interest in the documentary once it hit like '82 and Human League- no thank you, really- but up till then I enjoyed it in a sad looking back kind of way. What's Bill drinking? Went out tonight and met Dr. Feelgood #1 and #2 at the River's Edge cafe (that same gorgeous waitress still waiting) to get some pain meds from #1 (why I need them more than usual in DFZ news) and some cough meds from #2- that damn Mexican cough just won't go away, thought it had as it vanished for a couple days last week but then I woke up one morning and it was back (and just like a Mexican brought it's whole damn family). While there I drank three big Yuengling draft on Doc #2's tab (danke) and am now finishing the- I thought it was twelve there were only ten- Rachel?- Yuengling I had left in the refrigerator. Been relatively dry of late- it's that fucking work cutting in to my drink time- but I went in Rite Aid last Friday for- I forget what- and saw they had 24 oz PBR cans on sale for .99- how could I pass that up? There were only six in the rack but Rachel's friend Brittany was working (she's no longer at Kroger) so I asked if she'd check and see if they had any more- she gave me a look, but did- and they had four more so I came home with 10 24 oz. PBR for $9.90 plus tax. Beat that. Started drinking them around 3 pm Saturday, they were all gone by 9, had two shots left in the bottom of a bottle of Wild Turkey so I drank them and crashed out around 10. Way early I know but I was tired. DFZ's worked a few times since last issue, for Allen a while back, then up in Ohio, then a short show Allen ran before Wrestlemania this past Sunday which I'd forgotten about (which is both why I got tore down on Saturday and why I told- someone- earlier in the week I wasn't working last weekend, I think I stood them up but I can't really remember who it was or what I was supposed to do so if you're reading this, sorry). Get put in a six man, easy match, all I have to do is sleep walk through it which is about all I'm up to. During the heat I went to give Allen a gut wrench suplex (what the late, great Gordon Solie- and only him- used to call a side salto- as we were coming back from our first XWE Ohio match with Unstable Shane Storm and I were rating the two guys- Ryan Phoenix shit, Dirk Extreme pretty good- Shane said "Dirk is only the second guy ever to lay me flat on a gut wrench. You of course being the first." And I will. Not a lot of guys throw them and of the ones that do almost no one does it right, by the positioning the other guy can't post so it's all down to you, too many guys either get lazy or just don't muscle up and when that happens the guy taking it at best hits on his shoulders, at worst on his neck. I lay 'em fucking flat every time and I'm proud of that). Anyway I go to throw the gutwrench on Allen and I'd forgotten how much damn weight he's lost- I bet he doesn't go 170 now- I'm also wrestlnig with a 20 Pabst hangover- he goes up like a damn piece of candy floss, I over compensate so I don't throw him all the way to Memphis and hyperextend the fuck out of my right knee. I couldn't put any weight at all on it Monday- literally hopped to and from my car on one leg- and try driving left-legged some time- to get to the scrap yard, if anyone had needed weighed at the small scale I'd have told them to go straight to hell and damn the torpedoes, but the only guy who came in needed weighed on the big scale. Drove to work the past two days at the library- embarrasses me with how close it is, I normally walk to work there but right now I CAN'T WALK. It's some better now, I can limp on it but doing so still makes me break out in a cold sweat cos it fucking hurts. But I'm mobile. And I guess that's about it for tonght. What about the Wild Bunch 2011 Part 2 you say? Well, there are some lovely, lovely pain pills in my immediate future and hopefully some lovely, lovely sleep not far behind and I can't wait any longer. WB 2011 2 soon. Really Don't believe a word Later Bill
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Don't
believe me if I tell you 
