12/31/12

I Don't Know The Clocks

"I didn't fall out of the turnip tree yesterday!" Ronnie Gibson Yes you did, Ronnie, yes you did.

Hey

That indeterminate time in the future has come around. NL slacker though I've been of late, there's been a New Year's Eve edition every year since 2002 and that's a tradition I'll continue to uphold as long as the NL exists. And yeah, I really am at a point with the newsletter where I should either shit or get off the pot, and I've decided to continue to shit, at the very least for seven more issues, this being Issue #293, and next month starting the NL's twelfth year- truly fucking amazing, that's a long time and a lot of shit.

(AMEN).

Going to briefly (or as briefly as I can) finish up the scourging before we get to more current events.

BALTIMORE COMIC CON-

Hated it. Crowded as fuck. I hate crowds with a deep and abiding passion and I feel certain I always will unless they're all throwing money at me and even then I'll be like "Can't you just mail it to me?". About 11:00 AM the first morning the air is already getting close, "What the fuck is that stink?" I ask, "That's the Con funk," the guy at the next booth tells me (forget his name but he was a nice guy, he gave me one of his posters free of charge, a cool take off on the Psycho shower scene with Batman, Harley Quinn and the Joker) great, the only thing worse than a room packed with geeks is a room packed with a bunch of unwashed geeks.

Highlights were of course seeing Rachie, I hooked her and Mike up with free passes to the Con (what's stroke for if you don't use it), one evening Danny and I went over to her apartment where Mike fixed us some excellent crab cakes. Met some wrestling promotor from NY/PA at the Con who'd heard of DFZ, gave me his card, said I could come up and work for him anytime I wanted, gave him a price and he said sure, so we'll see. Went to another Orioles game, good game, they came back to beat the Yankees, then ran into some wrestling fans at the Cheap Ass Beer place who had ALSO heard of DFZ-

(WHY DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU?)

-"he wears a black and silver mask and cheats, right?"- close enough, who bought us some beers before catching their ride back to Virginia. Also met Brian Bolland, he was there doing signings (at the Con, not the Cheap Ass Beer place), waited until they were over and he was alone having a bite, just stopped by to tell him how much I truly loved his work- he does the definitive Judge Dredd- he couldn't have been more gracious, invited me to sit with him while he ate, even apologized for not having enough to share, I told him I was too hungover to eat anyway which he seemed to appreciate. I spent about twenty minutes hanging out with him, what a nice, nice person in that lovely Brit way, the story now is that I had lunch with Brian Bolland, which I did, pretty soon it's going to be, "Yeah, me and Brian are best buddies, he asked me to come stay at his house!" When that comes around, don't contradict me, okay?

NEW YORK COMIC CON

HATED IT. I thought the Baltimore Con was crowded- you couldn't have found that crowd in the crowd at NYC. TOO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE. I went for a few hours the first day and never went back. If I had I'd still be in New York, in the fucking Tombs.

Highlights were of course seeing Sarah, she and Rob joined Danny and I one night in this excellent Irish pub we'd found not far from our rather on the shabby side hotel (our bar tab the previous night had been over $100 and that was with every fourth drink free and it was worth every penny) after the Yankees game- Danny and I got very reasonably priced tickets to the fifth and final playoff game between the Orioles and Yankees- great seats, in fact- and I have to admit, not being a Yankees or a New York City fan, I was quite favorably impressed with the Yankees fans in our section, they were a lot classier than the drunken yahoos we're normally surrounded by at Camden Yard (ha, I first typed Camden Tard) The next day I spent the evening with Sarah and Rob and some of their friends in a couple bars in their neighborhood in Queens, then spent the night at their apartment. It was wonderful seeing both my girls this fall but I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished they lived closer to home and in places I was more comfortable with them living.

Danny and I drove to Martinsburg and then took the train to NYC via Washington, DC. The train rides were nice, if depressing, it was disheartening as we went through Maryland, Delaware and New Jersey seeing all the abandoned and crumbling warehouses and manufacturing plants along the rail line, I had to quit looking and read my book, it was making me sad. What the fuck happened to this country?

MORGANTOWN CON

Not the best organized, this was- Chris?- whatever his name was- first con, it was located way the fuck too far out of town and attendance wasn't as high as anyone would have liked (although I still sold about as many books here as I did at the bigger cons, and Chillers did quite well also), best part of the weekend was Danny and I got to sit at what he called "the big boys table" with Bob Tinnell and Neil Vokes and some other comic guys I can't remember at the Saturday night after party at some brew pub there in town, all cool guys and I enjoyed it just for that, but ours was the only table the Con comped and I got grandly hammered- as did most of the others- on free beer which as every one knows is Bill's very favorite kind. Also may have found an artist for the DFZ comic, this guy actually is a name but until it's a total go . . . also, we're still looking for a publisher . . . but a DFZ color comic is that much closer to hopefully one day being a reality.

DETROIT COMIC CON

Didn't hate it. For one, not as crowded as Baltimore and NY, for two it wasn't in Detroit proper (thankfully) but in Dearborn at this pretty posh hotel where our pretty posh room was comped (it was so nice to be staying in the same place as the Con) and for three Gary the publisher of Transfuzion was one of the guys running the con so Danny and I got treated very well. My sales were the best here of any of the Cons, made some really good connections by again being seated with the big boys and just letting my natural charm carry the day (as a result of which Drains is being looked at now in New York and the script of "Call Me Death" is in California), Buddy Black came down and played Friday night after the Shel Dorf awards banquet (Chillers was nominated, we lost to Batman, go figure) and we got hammered (Gary gave Danny and I a fist full of drink tickets, God bless him cos they were $6 each), met some seriously cool people (have a hook up in Chicago now for whenever I can make it out there, which is definitely on for sometime next year), may be doing a solo graphic novel for TZ (I hate that the title Giant Sized Man-Thing has already been used), we'll see. Overall it was a much more relaxing and pleasant experience than any of the other Cons. If only the girls could have been there, all three of them.

Still at the library, still at the yard. Still married, still happily.

Ronnie Gibson on the election.

Ronnie: I don't know why everybody likes him so much (he's referring to Obama). It ain't like he's that other one.
Bill: What other one is that?
R: John Loofer King.
B: Who?
R: John Loofer King. They like him so much they give him his own day.
B: Well, I know somebody who didn't like him.
R: Who's that.
B: The guy who shot him.
R: HE'S BEEN SHOT?!

Only in America.

On the writing front, the release of Chillers 2 was delayed, should be out next month. Chillers 3 is scheduled for Fall 2013, and I've already got a couple stories written for it. Supposed to have a story out in an anthology this summer, more details as it becomes more certain. Monster, Thing, and Nightmare are now all available for Kindle (danke, Joe). Check out my website http://williambitner.com/ there's a free story on there, "Solution" from Monster, it'll be up for a couple months then I'll post something else. I'm also technically on facebook though I only check it every few days (it actually sets my teeth on edge every time I login) as William Bitner and William Bitner Author if you want to be my (ahem) friend, also like my author page and after so may likes . . .something happens. So like it, please. And buy my books and post glowing reviews on Amazon- I'm serious. The next short story collection, Gone Where The Goblins Go, should be out sometime spring 2013 with interior illustrations by S. A Ayres who illustrated my "Free To Good Home" in Chillers and "The Red Carpet" in Chillers 2 and hopefully I can get him for "No Dog In This Fight" in Chillers 3. And as noted earlier I have a novel in NY and a script in CA. Think in 2013 I'm going to quit dicking around and take this writing thing a little more seriously. It's gotta beat working.

Going to go. This is a short issue but I couldn't let the day get past without one. I vow to drink more next year (STATS this year are just crazy, I got drunk less than 50 times in 2012, that comes out to LESS THAN ONCE A WEEK) and try to inflict myself upon you much more regularly.

Spending a quiet evening at home tonight with Annie, as Joe and Laura had their annual New Year's Eve do early this year, last Friday the 28th. Wonderful as always, this year's main course was chateaubriand cooked to absolute perfection and lobster thermidor with lobster hunks as big as your, uhm ear? At least that big. And that's if you have big ears.

Have a couple bottles of wedding gift (never did do the honeymoon travelogue, maybe next issue) champagne in the refrigerator. After that . . . Happy New Year.

And a Happy New Year to all of you. May all of you have a new year as wonderful as the one I've had this year. And may I have one even better.

Later

Bill

Gotta go, meeting Brian Bolland for our usual breakfast...