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2/23/12 The Impossible Possible, The Incredible True
"I've got a schedule, son." David Lee Roth blowing past autograph seeker. Hey Bill has a schedule as well and there hasn't been a lot of room in it of late for a NL. However, we've cleared some space tonight so . . . Let's hit the mail bag real quick, yes, it seemed like more than thirty eight to me at the time as well, and yes, those were a lot of belts. I'm still getting a lot of surprised congratulations ("I never thought I'd be saying this but-") on the new love as well as some mail from folks concerned that now that Bill's happy the NL will no longer contain the brutalist angst ridden dark night of the soul semi-mutant ramblings we've all come to know and enjoy over these past ten years. Hey, just becaue I love Anne doesn't mean I still don't hate the rest of the fucking world. And I still drink. And for you love will tear us apart types who have been saying it won't last I have to admit, as of Valentine's Day Annie is no longer my girlfriend. Sad but true. She's my fiancee. Ha. Yes, I'll wait while you pick your jaws up off of the floor. It's probably the best move I've ever made (and if you're wondering how I popped the question I got down on one knee and handed her a note, "Do you want to marry me check Yes or No"). She's smart, funny, sexy, sweet- and best of all crazy about me. Which I realize makes her clinically insane, but since it's always been my policy to exploit the handicapped I see no reason in not continuing to encourage her affections. Especially since I'm crazy about her. (I'D SAY FOR A EGOTISTICAL DISRESPECTFUL ALCOHOIC PERVERT YOU'VE DONE PRETTY WELL FOR YOURSELF) I agree. And the fact that the first time I got married Anne was the same age as the flower girl is chocolate coating on the hard boiled egg. So, Bill's future, domestic, yes. Domesticated? Fucking never. The girls are doing well, Sarah back in school, Rachel working. As for my mom . . . I took her to the doctor today for the 16th time this calendar year. Tina is taking her tomorrow for the third time, plus Lori has come in once to take her. After tomorrow that's 20 mind (and ass) numbing doctor appointments in 54 days. Plus she has two next week. She's had some allergy problems, cataract surgey with all it's pre and post check-ups plus her EKG went wack during the surgery so now she's back at her heart doctor but still, that many appointments in that short an amount of time is just fucking nuts. Finished the book I was reading a couple Fridays' back waiting at the allergy doctor's- foolish Bill, I had 220 pages left so I thought it would be enough to last me, little did I know we'd be there for THREE HOURS, so I picked up the copy of Entertainment Weekly lying on the chair next to me, put it back down after only a minute or two but it was too late. I have even less hope now for the future of mankind than I did before (and care less about it's eventual pathetic demise), what unadulterated fuckng shite, Drivel For The Brain Dead is what it should be called. (ISN'T THAT WHAT WE CALL THE NEWSLETTER IN PRIVATE?) I'm not saying. Scrapyard's still crazy slow, Ronnie still crazy slow as well. After that poor fucker died at the Holiday Inn a few weeks ago Ronnie was all concerned about "the 'noxide" cos "it'll kill you so fast you don't even know it." Bill: So I could be dead from 'noxide right now and not even know
it? He didn't want to worry about it too much though cos he's not "a worry warrior" (that one's pretty good) and besides he has other things on his mind. Like getting tossed out of the Chinese restaurant in "Nawie City" (I'm assuming it was Chinn's) because when the waitress came to take his order he pulled back his eyes and ordered in "Chinese". The impression he showed me looked and sounded more like chipmunk, but either way it offended the waitress. She got the manager who Ronnie repeated his act for, and it got him tossed. "I was jus' funnin' with 'em," he complained, totaly clueless as to why they didn't get the "joke". Casto happend to be there whle Ronnie was telling this story and after Ronnie left Casto told about one time, "make that the only time," he amended, he had gone to lunch with Ronnie and when the waitress asked what he wanted to drink Ronnie unwrapped a straw, jammed it up his nose and started pretending to sniff salt up off the table, this being Ronnie's way of asking for a Coke in public.
Ronnie sits down at Phil's desk and starts pillaging the drawers. "Peels . . . ah need mah peels" he slurs (I'm guessing he meant pharmaceuticals and not fruit rind). "Oh, here's mah peels, mah wunnerful peels" and he mimes chugging a bottle of peels. Then he starts doing this funny thing with his mouth. Bill: What- Once he's worked up a big enough slobber he gets up and staggers around the office, eyes half closed and drooling. "Oh, I done took too many peels . . . I . . .took . . . too many peels . . . I'm a . . . dyin from the peels,'" and he lays down on the floor (this was before we'd heard she died in the bathtub which breaks my heart cos he'd probably have filled up the bathroom sink and climbed in it). Nancy comes out of her office to see what's going on. Nancy: Why's Ronnie lying on the floor? (I find it telling she
asked me instead of him)
What's Bill been doing? Can't remember all the way back to last newsletter, but a couple weekends ago I went with Danny up to Kinko's cos he needed to make poster size copies of the Chillers cover (which is being published by Tranzfusion comics with national distribution through Diamond, Tranzfusion is wanting Danny and I to work the convention circuit this summer pushing it, so far supposed to work Toronto, Orlando and Richmond, pretty fucking cool for real). I got a copy of the cover out of it, Danny and I went to Adelphia and drank a couple pitchers of Yuengling while the posters were being printed, but the funny/creepy part was when we first went in. Jason Arthur works at Kinko's, that's who I thought we were meeting but when we get there, there's this other guy working- or so I thought. Danny acts like he knows this guy as well, I say "Nice to meet you," to him which gets me a funny look from both the guy and Danny and then wander over to look at these pulp and Marvel calendars that are on sale but not enough on sale for me. Danny comes over a couple minutes later- D: Aren't you going to speak to Jason? Danny looks at me all concerned. D: You're not kidding, are you? No is right. That was Jason Arthur. Bad part isn't that I didn't just confuse him with somone else (who that tall red headed guy in my head is, is I have no clue), I would have sworn I'd never seen that guy behind the counter in my life. Even when I realized it was indeed Jason I still didn't recognize him and I've been around the guy at least half a dozen times. Admittedly I think I was drinking every time, but still . . . The posters were to decorate the walls at Bruno's where this Canadian band, Buddy Black (good band, real nice guys) were shooting a video of their remake of the Chillers movie theme song the night of 2/11. That morning I met Chris, Ron, Wes (looking very fit indeed, good on ya buddy) and Wes' friend Brian at IHoP for breakfast. Great to see the guys, but I've been having a lot of stomach trouble again- acid times infinity among other things- and it hit at breakfast, first bite- sirloin tips and eggs, good stuff- stuck in my throat, had to go to the bathroom and throw it up but after that the rest of the meal went down fine.
What's Bill drinking tonght? TT tea. Got kind of tired of it there for a while but I haven't had any in a while and I'm trying to lay off the green tea after 6 pm or so. What's Bill watching? Got a bunch of old Doctor Who's from the library, Joe and I really liked the Doctor when we first found him on PBS one afternoon the summer of '79 while drinking copious amounts of Weidemann beer in Bill's tralier. I don't know if Joe remembers but that first episode we watched was episode 1 of "Terror of The Zygons" and we were both in awe, going "Jesus, how drunk must the guy have been who came up with the Zygon's makeup?" Don't know if they'd hold up if I hadn't watched them then, but watching them now reminds me of good times. Tom Baker's aged kind of rough- he is 78, so cut him sone slack- gone all portly and jowly- (I WRESTLED THEM ONCE) What? (I WRESTLED THEM ONCE. PORTLY AND JOWLY). I think you wresteld them a lot more than once. And you made me forget what I was going to say. So . . . A DFZ update and then we're out. If you want to see him, or see him again, time is running out as I'm planning to retire the boots and mask by July. Wrestled in Harts last Friday, Ohio on Saturday and it was all I could do to force myself into the car each day. Turned down bookings from three feds last weekend (Mountain State, 304 and RCW), all of whom wanted to put their tag belts on me and Shane, but my heart- and Shane's for that matter- just isn't fucking into it any more. And that's how you end up getting hurt. Besides, anyone who'd rather spend his weekends wrestling some sweaty guy when he could be wrestling his hot fiancee is a damn fool. So, I'm out. Hopefully back soon with a new NL. Later Bill
We split a couple pitchers of yuengling whichmeans i drak i and a half and he drankhalf of one I remebered himas being taller andhaving red hair. Seriously, I'd have sworn I'd neve seenthis guy in my life.Jason arther berakfast- videao annabel, mannix dr who Portly and jowlt
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I love like I live 
All this pales beside the act he pulled a few weeks ago, The
Death of Whitney Houston. Olivier doing Hamlet has nothing on this
show. 
DFZ was in the video shoot that night- stuck back at the bar in a
blink and you miss it cameo as it turned out- as was Anne. She came
along with me and ended up getting in the video as well, IN THE
FRONT FUCKING BOOTH. I get it, DFZ or a good looking blond, who do
you want to put up front in your video, but still. Bruno's has
Harpoon IPA on tap, got a pint ($6), it was good, realized we were
going to be there for a while and drinking by the pitcher would
probably be cheaper so I got one ($20 which I didn't see till I
ordered it, at that point what the fuck) and eventually a second,
pricey, but good beer and a good buzz. We got home around 1 am,
feeling good, about 2 am, not so good. I'm like, "Are you fucking
kidding me?" My stomach was on fire and I spent the next hour or two
puking $46 worth of beer and a considerable amount of blood into the
toilet (and I'm sure you know which of the two I was more upset
about). 
