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6/1/05 South Of Heaven With D F Zed
Hey Just a brief note to let everyone know that I'm back safely from my African expedition (and thanks for caring). Man, the things I've seen and done the past two plus weeks . . . fucking amazing. Africa is the most visually stunning place I've ever been in my life, and I guarantee you I'm going back, hopefully as soon as next spring, to climb Kilimanjaro. Anyone interested? Probably be a while before I get around to publishing The Scourge of Africa chronicles, I think I need a little time to absorb and reflect on this trip before I commit it to paper (or computer, whatever). Also, I'm just plain fucking exhausted, twelve pounds down from the man I was when I left, and I can feel it. Living hard definitely has its rewards, but it do wear a body down. Thank God I've got so much experience at it (not to mention still being a freak of fucking nature). To reassure everyone who expressed their concern before I left, this trip was nowhere near as debauched as the one to Prague (although not exactly rated G, either), and that, as promised, I had no congress whatsoever with any of the local women. I made no such promises regarding my fellow world travelers, however . . . Looking through my notes, when I do get around to T.S.O.A., you'll be enlightened about such things as- Bill's Mom Dresses Him For The Trip; Valium + Beer = The Only Way To Fly; How'd Africa Get So Damn HOT?; What's The Best Tanzanian Beer? Only One Way To Find Out; There's A Big Goddamn Lizard In The Gents; The Al-Qeada Van; Going Up The Country (Baby Don't You Want To Go?); The Bus Ride From Hell; No Women Of Immoral Turpitude Allowed In Rooms!; Blood Is Spilled Over "The Best Damn Pizza In Africa"; The Black Scorpion; Why Are They Bringing Me Liquor In IV Bags, They Don't Even Know Me: Bill And Natalia Sitting In A Tree; Bill Unwittingly Gets Himself Betrothed To Some 12 Year Old In This Damn Bar; There's A Giant Fucking Bat In The Gents; "Who's The Baddest Motherfucker In This Massai Village?"; How'd Africa Get So Damn COLD?; If You Had A Norwegian Girl Sitting On One Knee, And An Australian Girl Sitting On The Other, What Card Game Would YOU Suggest Playing?; Oh For Christ's Sake, Now There's A CAPE FUCKING BUFFALO In The Gents; Close Up Lion Porn; Don't Get The Poops; D F Zed In Hollywood (Tanzanian Division); Bill Likes Acting, Acting Likes Bill; Falconmania Hits U.D.E.S. Primary School; You're Goddamn Right I'm Mzungu; and even more, but I'm running out of gas. I left Dar Es Salaam 34 hours ago and have been either on a plane or in an airport till about an hour ago when I got back into town. Again, thanks for your good wishes and prayers for my safety while I was abroad, something must've gone right, cos I'm back (but not to stay). Later Bill "Daima nipo nanyi. Naruka juu yenu. Naawangalia. Naseema nanyi katika ndoto. Mataskia?" Death Falcon Zero 
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Daima
nipo nanyi