|
6/23/05 Suck It Up, Buttercup
Hey Summer's here and the time is right for fighting in the streets, boys. Don't want to start out on a bummer note, but I just remembered this, and if I don't put it down now odds are as the beer count mounts, I'll forget it. Fucking hell, Joe, ANOTHER of the Class of '74 done gone, saw in the paper one day last week- and as I've said before, I never read the obituaries, I think it's morbid, but sometimes I'll be flipping through the paper at my parent's house and a name will just jump off the page at me- that J.J. Bourn died. He was 48, died of myotropic dystophy whatever the fuck that shit is, he'd been a CPA and a deacon or something at his church, which is exactly what I'd have predicted he'd become. I'm sure Joe remembers him, they were in the same home room, JJ was one of those Jesus kids even back then, but he wasn't pushy about it, or critical of those of us who weren't, I always liked him. We never hung out cos he didn't drink or fight or screw, but he was a good guy all the same (ha), not exactly Mr. Excitement, but bright and good natured, very pleasant kid and I'm sure he was a good man. I hope you had an enjoyable stay while you were here, JJ, and wherever you're at now, I hope they're treating you well. RIP, John Bourn, 1956- 2005. As long as we're mourning things, lets all mourn for Bill's right knee, which has gone the way of most joints Bill, and is thoroughly fucked. I found out that the pain in my right knee that's been bugging me since before I left for Africa, and has gotten progressively worse, is a fucking torn ACL. Lovely. My knees- both of 'em- fucking HURT. They're hot inside, and they grind, they feel like they're both full of broken glass that's been set on fire, I keep icing them and that helps some, but it doesn't help deep down inside the knee where the real heat and pain are, I feel like I want to just rip my knee caps off and pack crushed ice down into the joint, Jesus that would feel so fucking good. I'm not kidding about the heat part, you can put your hand on my knees- well, some of you can, some of you will just have to take my word for it- and they're HOT, just like they used to get those last few years I ran on them, only now I'm not running, and they're hot all the time, and God, I'm not trying to be a whiner, but they fucking HURT. I was telling my Mom about it and she felt 'em, confirmed they were hot, then asks my Dad if he wants to feel 'em Dad: I don't want to feel his damn knees, Dot, what's wrong with
you? Talking about my infirmities- my knees hurt about the same no matter what I do, so I don't see any reason to put the DF on the shelf, especially when things are starting to take off for his surly ass- provides a good lead in to talking about wrestling, so we shall. The Grapes of Wrath (DFZ and Talent) beat Ricky Villain and Unholy in Nitro the 11th with a double team Demolition Drop- we've decided we're going to finish in Nitro from now on with one of the classic old school double team finishers, a different one each time, should be a lot of fun. For us, anyway, Ricky Villain got a little excited when he saw the Death Flacon climbing the top rope to drop that elbow on him. That version of the Grapes go for the belts against XMCW Tag Champs The Lynch Brothers at Riverfest in St. Albans July 2, bell time 3 pm, if you're not busy that day come down and check it out, it's a free show, should be fun. Hot, but fun.
To continue the saga, Danny and I worked our match in Martinsburg Monday night at the strip club, it was a cluster fuck from the minute we walked in, lots of threats and tension over monies owed and not given going back and forth between the promotion, House of Pain, and the Leggz strip club we were working, I stayed the fuck out of it, but it pretty much wrecked the show, the "Girls Gone Wicked" shoot was cancelled, no strippers in the ring between matches as promised, and Ron Jeremy, once he heard DFZ was going to be there said, "Well fuck, they don't need me", and he cancelled. Our big barbed wire match with Samu was thrown out as well, it ended up with the DFZ and Danny version of the Grapes working Crucial Impact, Dokken and Harlan Kano, what the fuck, an 80's hair rocker and a video game character. Nice, nice kids, though, good workers, and very gung ho, when I ask someone in Nitro about taking the exploder they're all like "No, no, can't do that", these two kids were arguing over who got to take it. As in, they both wanted to. The Grapes won by DQ as Dokken cracked Danny over the head with a garbage can lid as we were setting Kano up for the DD (any move you can abbreviate Double D is good by me), and got caught. Danny had a rough night, he'd taken a serious beat down, and had already gotten hit twice over the head earlier in the match with a metal cookie sheet when the ref had his back turned. Tuesday morning Danny is sore as hell, and he's got this great huge goose egg on the back of his head where he took that whack with the trash can lid- that kid went to the Falconette Allegra school of trash can lid swinging, believe me, it sounded like a damn pistol shot when he connected- and of course Danny's crying like a little girl. Danny: Man, tagging with you sucks. Later, we were watching a tape of the match and the crowd is popping hard for the Death Falcon, it was great, I'd noticed it at the time, Danny was too busy being pummeled by Crucial Impact, and it just wrecked Danny's ego, he's getting pissed for real- D: Dammit, this is my fucking town, this is supposed to be MY
crowd, why the fuck are they cheering for you?
So I asked her (she got reprimanded for sitting on my lap for free, sorry darling), and she said she'd love to, so we'll see. Fellas, I'm telling you, if it works out and she really is in this movie, you are going to be so happy with me. Not as happy as I’M going to be with me, but happy. Cos this girl is fucking HOT. I have to say, I had a really, really good time Monday night, Danny can cry all he wants but it was a great match, best he's ever been a part of and one of the DF's best as well. A bunch of the DF's new fans came over to the strip club afterward- they'd originally come up (and THEY drove an hour and a half, what is it with these people?) to watch their buddy, the overtly redundant Little Shorty Smalls- who, naturally, weighs 300 pounds, wrestling humor is pretty broad- then again, a couple of the girls who're gonna be on the all girl card next month, Eva Destruction and Victorious Secret, show some real wit- as well and bought me TONS of beers, free beer and sex with strange (in all senses of the word) women is why I got into wrestling in the first place, one of them even said he came over just to hangout with DFZ, "You came to a strip club to hang out with ME? That's gay as fuck, dude". I'm getting sidetracked, anyway, this guy paid us like the highest compliment ever, he said, "You guys match was like watching an old Rock and Roll Express/Midnight Express match", and that's some serious praise. I'll take it, however, cos I can see where he's coming from. And it's cos I CALLED THE GODDAMN MATCH. So there. Hopefully this Saturday's match can be like the Funk Brothers Vs. Abdullah and The Sheik. Ir's time for Mr. Boyd to gig. Things got a little uncomfortable at one point, one of the Lesbians From Prague, who's actually the Bisexual From Prague, was all drunked up and hanging all over me and telling me how much she loved me, "Cos you're PASSIONATE, God, you're such a PASSIONATE MAN" while her lesbian for life partner, who's twice my size and more of a man than I'll ever be, gave me the hairy eyeball. So I bought her- the partner- a lap dance from Miss Potential Movie Star- have I mentioned this girl is fucking HOT- and all was forgiven. Like I said, a very good time. I'm blowing off the match this Thursday in Mt. Hope (I've already told 'em I won’t be there, I'm not just no showing), then heading back to Martinsburg for a hardcore, "anything goes" (whatever the fuck that means) rematch with Crucial Impact at the (genuinely) historic Apollo Theater this Saturday. It was constructed in the early part of the last century, and it's where my Dad spent many a happy hour in the 30's and early 40's watching Tom Mix and Ken Maynard and that crazy bunch ride horses up and down the lone prairie. Who'd a thunk that 70 years later he'd be watching his aging son and namesake slamming guys with barbed wire baseball bats on its very stage. It's a funny fucking world. Yeah, my Dad's coming up for the match, as is Sarah- Rachie's opting for spending the night at Impetuous' house, on the pretext "I don't want to see you get all bloody, Daddy", yeah, right- AND the Lesbians From Prague again, and we're all staying at Danny's Dad's house that night, THAT should be worth some funny shit in the next newsletter. And lastly, my good buddy Juggulator got to meet Terry Funk- I am so jealous- at a show in Tennessee, said Terry was just a hell of a guy, which I can imagine, he kept telling Juggs, "You stay outta jail, now", (?) even kept telling the guys there with him "You keep him out of jail". Funny. Juggs has a picture of him and Terry on his site, why don't you see if you can put it on here, Joseph. No, fucking not the last wrestling news at all, the annual Lord Of The Rings Tournament is being held this year in Newville, Pennsylvania (September 23), it's a really prestigious booking, it gets covered in all the legit newsstand wrestling magazines, it's invite only to the top 40 independent wrestlers in the entire fucking country- and Death Falcon Zero has been asked to participate this year. Pretty fucking cool. And yes, of course I'm gonna be there, bust knees and all. What else has Bill been doing? Had coffee with Jean and Martha last week, they get younger and better looking every time I see them. I'm joining them, and Geri, at Martha' house this coming Friday for a cook out/wine tasting, looking forward to it very much, besides the lovely company, those ladies can COOK. Picked up Rachie on Saturday at Hazelton, Loretta was so damn sweet to me I almost went into sugar shock, to the point where when we got in the car to leave Rachel was like "What's up with HER?". Beats me, darling, but it makes me uncomfortable as hell. I don't want to fight anymore, but for fuck's sake don't start being all nice to me, I already miss you enough as it is. We need to find some neutral area where we can get along, but not try to be "friends", cos that is never, ever going to work for me. Sarah (who'll be in this Saturday, she had to go for orientation this week at Fairleigh Dickinson) wants both me and her Mom to take her to college when she goes this fall. That three hour ride back to Baltimore after dropping her off, just me and Loretta? I don't know if I'm ready for that, straight up. Went over to Danny's last Wednesday to hang out on his porch and drink beer, he was babysitting Steve Utt, who some of you know, Steve had a stress test about a month ago that he failed miserably, so he went in for a heart cath, which found no blockages whatsoever, so hurray for Steve. He celebrated by drinking and smoking on Danny's porch. Doug (The Lug, and I say that with all affection) came over as well, and another pleasant time was had, I've been having a lot of them recently, good for me. Danny's neighbors across the street brought over their pet possum to visit, Princess Nina Pearl- yeah, I know, I said the same thing. But she was a sweet animal, very friendly, they were telling me all the shit you have to go through to legally own a possum in WV, Bill, the guy, was telling this story about the only other person he ran into who'd ever had a pet possum, that guy was telling him they had it for a couple years, but had to get rid of it when it bit his mother. Why'd it bite your mother? "Well, it got into a fight with the raccoon under the Christmas tree, and when Ma tried to break it up, it bit her." Explains that. Another reason why the evening was so pleasant, Danny had this money guy there for a while, who Danny's trying to get to invest in making the DF movie, Danny had shown him the script and this guy fucking loved it. Told me "I was laughing out loud reading parts of it, and I never do that. Then, some parts of it were actually touching". Yeah, I laughed, I cried, I threw up. Still, it's always nice when someone compliments your writing, and I think he's going to pay the ultimate compliment and kick in some bucks. I'll believe in it when the last bit of film is in the can, but I'm actually starting to feel like this movie is really going to get made. As always, keep your fingers crossed.
Other than these horrible knees, I'm feeling much better physically as well, been eating like a horse, not drinking that much (although I realize it doesn't sound it from reading this thing), lifting real heavy- Doug lent me these heavy duty power lifting knee wraps that are keeping my knees from exploding when I lift or wrestle- and I'm putting some quality weight back on in my upper body. And other than when my knees keep me awake, and I've been taking some pain meds for them at night, which seem to be helping, I've been sleeping well, also. Good for me. So what's Bill drinking? Well, fuck me, tonight it's beer, but I've been holding steady at just twice a week. Not planning on getting pounded tonight, just drinking and doing this thing, but if I do (get pounded, that is), what the fuck. What's Bill been watching? On IFC, watched Year Of The Horse, pretty good documentary on Crazy Horse, but I would've liked a stronger selection of songs, also the documentary on Frank Frazetta, what a cool, cool guy, Chris, hang on to the recording you made of it, I'd like to get a copy, as well as the old silent film, Witchcraft Through The Ages, from like 1922, heard a lot about it but never seen it, pretty damn (unintentionally) hilarious. Rachie and I watched the original, and very excellent, War Of The Worlds the other night, to prep us for the remake, first time Rachel's ever seen it, she agreed with her Daddy, and every other right thinking person out there, those Martian war machines are the coolest space invaders ever. We also watched Suspect Zero this afternoon, Rachel pronounced it "dumb" and fell asleep, I couldn't get into it either, I'm not into serial killer shit anyway, it started slow as fuck, got better toward the end, but I wouldn't bother with it if I were you. Haven't gotten out to see any of the summer movies yet, I plan to start later this week, Rachel and I are going to meet Chris for lunch on Friday, then go see- yeah, I know what I said- Batman Begins. I'm going to try and be open minded, and hell yes, it's hard to be, but if it really is as good as people say it is, I don't want to miss seeing it in the theater. And if it sucks, it'll hardly be the first lousy movie I've ever been to see. Danny transferred my Africa film to DVD, watched most it last night, even at two hours all I could think of was how much I missed, "Damn, I didn't get that, or that, or THAT", also some stuff I'm sure I filmed wasn't on there, but that was a very hazy two plus weeks, so who knows. Doug and Mike got a bunch of film that I didn't, we're gonna exchange DVD's with one another, so maybe some of the stuff I'm remembering will be on their films.
I found two (extremely well done) drawings of comic book heroines recently that look awful damn close to actual persons that I, and many of you, actually know. This goddamn horseshit computer will only let me get one of the scans to Joe. So I've sent it to him, post it on the site, Joe, and the first person who can correctly identify who this well drawn femme is in real life gets- I don't know. What to you want? Credit, obviously, if you win, I'll give you something else as well, if there's something in particular you want, tell me when you make your guess. And I'll get the other drawing to Joe eventually and we'll do the same thing again, but it won’t be tonight, cos I'm going to bed. I love you, but I've chosen darkness. Later Bill 
|
You can try and please me 
As
for the five matches in ten days that were to follow that, they just
ain't happening. The DF went over again in a singles match in Mt. Hope
the 16th, I blew off the PWF match the 18th and I'm glad I did, Rachel
and I went to the show anyway, number one I found out it's a punk ass
fed (this would've been my first show with them) with a weak roster,
most of the guys don't know what the fuck they're doing, one bloody
nose, one badly broken nose, and NL favorite Kris King got a wicked,
11 stitch gash in the forehead, (which he sent Rachel a picture of
during their on line flirting a little while ago but the addled child
didn't think to keep it for the NL), all from missed or blown spots,
plus the promoters are idiot dicks. Number two, I needed to be there
as Rachel's Dad, cos trying to keep her from chasing after all the
cute young wrestlers was almost as hard as keeping all the cute young
wrestlers from chasing after her. Lord. 
As for what went on in the strip club afterward (they had that half
of the building partitioned off, but we managed to wrangle some free
passes), other than drinking prodigious amounts of beer with a couple
of Danny's movie fans who came all the way up from Richmond for the
matches (?!), and two of the Lesbians From Prague, who missed two days
of work and drove all the way up from Charleston for the matches
(?!?), I'll just say that Bill made a special new friend, and she says
she wants to be in the DF movie. She wasn't the most overtly pretty
girl there, but she was the one that caught my eye, she was
attractive, no doubt, but beyond that she just had this presence about
her- I'd made up my mind she was the one I was going to approach about
being in the movie, we'd been there maybe an hour by then, she walked
by our tables and before I could say a word Danny went "That one.
She's the one you gotta ask to be in the movie" and everyone at our
tables was in instant agreement, apparently she'd caught all of our
eyes. And three guys, two lesbians, a straight girl and a Death Falcon
can't all be wrong. 
Oh yeah, and to give the whiney little devil his due, Danny (and
Mike Riley, who I got to be good buds with on the Tanzania trip) have
been nominated for a fucking Emmy award, how cool is that, for some
damn documentary they did last year, that I've never seen. The winners
will be announced sometime in July, if they win, we're gonna party
like motherfuckers, you better believe. Like motherfuckers. 
People been bitching- actually, people been bitching about a lot of
stuff, but one of the things a small but vocal group have been
bitching about is the dearth of comics stuff, not to mention the old
Comic Corner itself, in recent NL's. I was thinking the other day that
for the first two summers of this thing we had contests or polls or
whatever, didn't have one last year, so I think I'm going to combine
the two.