|
8/23/09 Billy B*******s The World Of Tomorrow
"Progress is nature's way of reconciling the elderly to the prospect of death." Humphrey Littleton Hitler's on the phone from Berlin They'll break your pretty cranium Hey Meant to do this NL weeks ago, I keep giving out with all this "I plan to do the NLs more frequently" sputum, then another month will go by . . . I have to tell you it's this damn binge drinking, it really eats up your fucking time. I'll go "I need to do (fill in the blank) on Monday", then I'll start the hard drinking (cos that's how I keep from losing my mind), next thing I know it's Wednesday- of the following week. And I'm in fucking Cleveland. Not sure what the answer is. (CERTAINLY NOT CUTTING BACK ON YOUR DRINKING) Heaven forfend. You want me to LOSE MY MIND? (HEAVEN FORFEND) Exactly. Let's do the mail bag. To answer the questions of a couple of you who apparently haven't been reading this thing for all of the over SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS it's been in existence, The Holy M Trinity consists of Marvin (Lee), McQueen (Steve) and Mitchum (Robert), and LCD beer is Lowest Common Denominator, i.e, Bud, Miller, Coors, that stuff.
Also got a question from an inquisitive, or maybe they're just damn nosy, reader, wanting to know why DFZ- yes, YOU- speak all in caps since "DFZ's already inside parens to distinguish him from Bill. What's up with the caps?" Your response? (A GOOD BIG WORD WILL ALWAYS BEAT A GOOD LITTLE WORD) Good answer. And pretty damn funny . . . Still scrappin' in the most surly of ways, I sure as fuck wouldn't deal with me if I wanted to get some money for my fucking trash, which is the sorry business I'm in (if it was up to me we wouldn't let half these motherfuckers on the lot, much less deal with them). As noted previously, Ronnie's back talking to me again, oh joy, he was in distress a couple weeks ago cos one of his "mouth teeth" was hurting him. Where else he has teeth that he had to specify it was a mouth tooth I don't know, and I don't want to know. Good news. Got called back to work at the bar last week. Bad news. Lasted two nights- more like one and a half- before I got sent home again, with another "we'll call you when we need you." (JUST HOPE THEY DON'T CALL YOU THE WRONG WAY. "BILL!") Funny. I don't feel like getting into it here, all I'll say is- once again- it was about respect, and I was fucking right, and they were wrong. And though I threatened violence and mayhem, I actually committed none. As for my Mom, please, don't ask. I've come to the very sincere conclusion that I'm being tested. Don't know if its by the Forces of Darkness or of Light, but either way the fuckers are not going to break me. I'll bitch and I'll moan and I'll drink like a batfish (reminds me, another reader asked "what's a batfish?"- (IT'S WHAT YOU DRINK LIKE) -but I won't fucking bail. So there. Do your fucking worst. (CAREFUL) Never have been. Why start now? Taking Aline back to SC in the morning, hate to see her go. Tracy, who had moved away, will be there this weekend to welcome his Mama home (with his hand out, no damn doubt). Steady readers are already familiar with the utter contempt I have for his rat-weasel little ass. I despise him, truly. Hopefully he'll walk light around me cos I am not in the fucking mood. Wouldn't mind going ears deep in his sister, though. As for the girls, Sarah's still looking for work in the heart of the cold, cold city, Rachel stopped in- briefly, like whoosh- last Sunday on her way back to Concord. Gonna stop in and visit with her a bit this coming Sunday on our way back through. What's Bill been doing? Since last issue, had an excellent steak dinner at Jean and Tad's, we drank a bottle of wine I brought, the last of the six that Nikki and I bought that long ago day, sort of sad to see it go, as I was her, it was good but of course I can't remember what it was, then we drank another big bottle that Tad went out and got, a very nice evening it was. Also invited over for another excellent meal at Africa Mike's (thanks Sig), a country breakfast/dinner that was Mister Bulky's request ("Breakfast food. At night. I LOVE that."), another really good time. Mike, who finds the absolute damnedest shit on the Internet, I've never seen the like, found this list of songs, it was called Songs About Addiction Without Recovery as best I remember, and guess what was #15? "Drunk Every Night" by the Tang Spoons. Fuck's sake, is that cool or what? I never put it on the Internet (obviously) did you Joe? Anyway, it's out there (and sounding good). Mike, can you send me some kind of link to it so Joe can put it in the NL? Had some car trouble, cracked intake manifold on the Crown Vic, that manifested itself on the way to Mike's (and kept me from making the Velvet party, hated it dears but no transport, sorry). In retrospect it couldn't have happened at a better time or place. The Ford dealer wanted $1200 to fix it. Mike's mechanic buddy (who I would not have known about had my car not fucked up on the way to Mike's house) did it for me for $450. I could go on here about the fucking scam car repair is, but I think the two prices I just gave make my point.
Here's what we drank, first comments by Chris, mine after the / Boulder Beer Mojo Rising Double IPA- too fruity for me/I agree, strong IPA bitter up front with a fruity finish, a strange, but not a great combination, didn't care for it. And the name's too long, just call it Beer for fuck's sake Starr Hill Brewery Northen Lights IPA- pretty good/agree Black Velvets- Guiness and Cook's Spumante- horrible, but Ron liked them/the spumante was far too sweet and vile, no doubt undrinkable on its own, with a good champagne combo may be tolerable. Or maybe not Harpoons- enough said/ditto Black and Tans- Guiness and Harp Lager- Harp's not Bass but these were pretty good/again agree. Harp, being a Guiness product, is the only acceptable substitute for Bass ale Old Rasputin Imperial- good, but not a summer beer/yeah, strong. No thirst quencher but it will fuck you up Cigars- Cusano 18- nice smoke/pretty much says it Te Amo- these were what Joe was smoking, that second one burned really bizarre/indeed it did, may be what fucked Joe up so bad. I'll have to try one. Chris and I also picked our five favorite adventure movies (a nebulous genre, I concede)- Chris- Gunga Din/Beau Geste/Raiders Of The Lost Ark/African Queen/King Kong Bill- Zulu/Gunga Din/Charge Of The Light Brigade/King Kong/The Man Who Would Be King Laura also contributed Ben Hur and The Wind and The Lion. Any movie buffs who want to comment, or send in their own top five, feel free. And speaking of Sandra Lee, as we were above, Reason #4265 Why Bill Loves Sandra Lee, the other day she was drinking sake mixed with cucumber pulp- out of a cucumber. (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH SANDRA LEE AND A CUCUMBER?) Well . . . (YOU THROW THE CUCUMBER AWAY AND FUCK SANDRA LEE) That's what I was going to say. Went to the Barge couple Sundays ago, drank Yuengling buckets, everyone else ate as well, first time there, pretty nice place. Also been out on Mark's boat a couple times since last NL, most recently last night, went up to Tomahawk's where everyone got food that all looked good, since I'd already eaten the day before I drank three Yuenling (that Mark picked up the tab for, thanks, man if I'd have known I'd have drunk six), also ran into John who used to, and does again, play guitar for Spurgie, he couldn't have been more friendly, they're back at the Empty Glass on Tuesdays, "Man, you have to come up and jam with us sometime," dude, you have NO idea what you're asking but Joe, David, we really need to just pick a Tuesday night sometime soon and go up there. Went to Huntington this past Sunday to work a match with Johnny Boy, even though DFZ is retired for the time being- more later- got there and there was no show, so Shane Storm, who rode down with me, and I decided to get shit faced drunk at 2 pm Sunday afternoon, even though I found out later he doesn't really drink. (DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF FAKING IT ON SUNDAY) That he did. Bought some beer for the ride back to Charleston, picked up the Death Starlette (cute, but dissolute) when we got to Dunbar- again, more later- had Shane drive around for a bit while DFZ and DS did what them letters do in the back seat, then dropped her back off and met Danny- needed to talk to him about some stuff, figured drunk was best- at Schaar's. Drank TONS of beer there, only had ten bucks, after that it was either on Danny or gay German bartender Bernie. Butch (assasin/cancer patient from the Eagles story a while back) came in around midnight and bought a bunch more beer and gave me a decent cigar to boot. Rachie came into town (unannounced, in my defense) that afternoon, called all over looking for her Daddy, finally found her reprobate pater by calling Shane about 8 pm and so she came up to the bar for the rest of the night, which ended around 3 am. Bernie was amazed that this kid had no problem in this pretty bizarre setting- Danny: Shit, Bernie, Bill raised her. Crazy to someone else is normal to her. There you go. What Danny and I had to talk about was a bunch of movie and book shit that I'm going to hold onto for now cos I get so damn tired- and I would imagine you do too- of Bill going on about all this shit in here, "DFZ in Japan/Puerto Rico/Canada/Mexico!", or "Bill in This Movie/That Movie!" and then nothng ever comes of it. But soon, cos this shit is damn near certain . . . Monster continues to sell well, thank you again for all your support. Got a good review on one of the WV Writer's podcasts, I'll get together with Joe and we'll splice that little part and put it in here. "Southern gentleman?" ME?!
What's Bill drinking? Lately, pretty much everything that's not nailed down, and some things that are. Tonight, back on the twelve Yuengling, three twenty four oz. Labatts cans combo, I know I said the cans were getting kind of tinny, but I haven't quite given up on them yet. It's a good buzz for eleven bucks. You tried it just once, thought it alright for kicks Ah, yes. What's Bill been listeing to? STILL doing the alphabet thing, still in the B's, since last issue, Bevis Frond (6)- find me another person with 6 Bevis Frond CD's and . . . I don't know what I'll do, Big Star (4), Black Sabbath (5), Black Sun Ensemble (1), Blondie (1)- Sarah saw Blondie and Pat Benatar (?!) week before last, said it was a great show and PB tore the house down- double (?!)- Blue Oyster Cult (6), Blues Magoos (1), Bow Wow Wow (1), Bowie (8), Breeders (1) James Brown (2), Brownsville Station (1), Bubble Puppy (1) - stupid name, great album- Buckinghams (1), Eric Burdon (2), Buzzcocks (1), Buzzsaw (1), Byrds (6). Not going to get to the What's Bill been watching or reading this issue, there's some good stuff in both and I'm too toasted right now to do them justice. Same with the abrupt semi-retirement of DFZ, we'll get into that next issue which will be soon, serious. Though nothing will keep us together (SPEAK FOR YOURSELF) I always do. Later Bill
|
*Author's note- this was originally composed Wednesday
night/Thursday morning and when I tried to send it out- drunkenly, I
admit, but still, that's nothing new- my computer somehow fucked up
so that not only did this NL not go out, but I haven't been able to
access the Internet from my computer since. I'm down on Joe's
computer now- not drunk yet, but I'm working on it. This whole cyber
thing makes my piss boil. 
Also got some requests for the bloody Bill as Devil photo, I'll
have Joe run it in next issue (also got some SS photos to get down
to you Joe, plan on stopping by this coming Monday- out of town this
weekend, but we go 'ome on Monday, it's been a gas this time, it's
really been a gas- unless the durn binge drinking gets hold of me
again). 
Had a MC up at Ron's- three weeks ago?- sounds right. Man, he's
the Sandra Lee of the MC cos he GAVE US ALL GIFTS, Batman shirts he
got- somewhere. Got a photo of Joe in one to prove it. We just sat
out on Ron's quite cozy deck, under some VERY stormy skies, and
drank and smoked (Bill to excess since I wasn't driving and was
spending the night on Chris's couch, Joe also got sauced to the max
and did that drunk disappearing thing he always used to do that
flashed me back to 1976 except I didn't have one of Loretta's big
tits in my mouth) and talked about movies. 