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9/25/05 Someone Else's Dog It's late at night but I'm not in bed Hey I know what you're asking yourself. What the fuck am I doing getting another one of these damn things right on the heels of the last one- which I haven't even read yet- and why the fuck isn't the Death Falcon in Pennsylvania wreaking havoc at the Lord of the Rings tournament? Well, you're getting one of these because I'm on the second day of a three day binge and I'll be way too messed up by tomorrow to do a fucking newsletter, and the Death Falcon is not in Pennsylvania cos he got kicked out of the LotR tournament. It's all because of that fucking suspension from HoP, God DAMN my fucking temper anyway, but you know, if they were going to kick me out, they should've done it a fucking month ago. I got a list of the card just Thursday (the DF had slipped from being ranked #14 to #18, but that's still pretty damn good out of forty of what are supposed to be the top independent wrestlers in the country), then Danny and I are getting ready to head up there yesterday- fortunately we hadn't left yet- when he gets a call- the gutless pricks didn't even call me, they called him- saying the DF has been kicked out of the tournament, but you guys can still come up and work the undercard if you want. I don't fucking THINK SO, which is just as well, Danny said there is no way in hell he'd have made that trip with me, the mood I was in. So, I don't know. Again, I made my own fucking bed, I never should have jumped on that kid as hard as I did- I thought I'd just split his lip, but apparently he needed some pretty serious dental work where I guess I kicked his teeth in, and that's not cool, I'll be the first to admit, but goddammit, if he'd just LISTENED to me it never would have happened- but again, shitcan my ass back then, don't tell me I'm in the fucking thing till the last minute and then pull it out from under me. I'm kind of upset and dejected about the whole mess. I don't know how the tournament went tonight, and I don’t care. I hope they all break their fucking necks. (I HOPE TO BREAK ALL THEIR FUCKING NECKS). I almost went to Martinsburg anyway, alone, but when I called Molly to tell her I wasn't in the tournament anymore- we'd discussed her possibly being the DF's valet, but I thought it was still up in the air- she gets sort of pissy, "Well, I took off work tomorrow night to be your valet at LotR", okay, well, that can still be good, we can go do something together tomorrow evening, that wasn't good enough for her, she kept coming back to "But I took off work tomorrow specifically to go to that wrestling tournament" to where I finally said, "You know what then, you go to that fucking wrestling tournament, and have yourself a good time" and hung up. Who says I don't know how to get along with women? Actually, I can get along with some of them (some of the time, anyway). Anita and I went to see Danny's Ghosts of Green Bottom Thursday night, we ate first at Outback, drank some beer, it was very nice, (she got accused of being my wife, worse things can happen to a woman- maybe) then went over to the Clay Center, my first time there- I'm a Philistine, I know- it was moderately impressive, had a real city look to it that I liked. The movie was okay, no ghosts as advertised so I was feeling a little cheated, Anita enjoyed it so that was good, afterward we went for a beer at what used to be Chef Dan's with Danny and Robin, BFP and GF, Curtis, and Doug (the lug)- not only am I a Philistine, I'm also the second coming of Hedda Hopper- who's won yet another powerlifting tournament and set another state record, 620 pound dead lift. You go, Mr. Bulky. And I have to say (and I wasn't the only one who noticed) Anita looked insanely lovely Thursday night. (LOVELY, MY ASS. SHE LOOKED SMOKING HOT). Yeah, well, that looks lovely to me. We were talking about her possible return as Anime Girl this fall, at 304- next show 10/30- but I'm reconsidering, I'm not sure I'd want to expose her to that truly vile atmosphere down there. On the other hand, I'm a big guy and could certainly defend her virtue, and she's a big girl and can make her own decisions. And she'd no doubt get to stab someone in the head with a busted light tube or something, and how could I deny her that? That whole scene is so surreal, the DF came out last show to a huge pop- "DFZ RULES!" all these drunk college guys I've never seen in my damn life, that's cool, I think it's the look, and the swagger, but then a bunch of them start hollering, "Where's your daughter? Your daughter is HOT, where's she at?"- how the fuck would they know, that creeps me out immensely - and then later when DFZ choked out Deacon- DFZ was pretty busy in that mess, he punked out Phoenix and sent him running, got rid of Dr Goofy Fuck by putting him through a table, and then locked the OD on Deac- this same bunch of guys started yelling at Deacon "You just got your ass kicked by a senior citizen!" Yeah, thanks guys. And you're about to. I ran those quotes from NL fans last issue and it seems like it sparked a competition on who can compliment me most- hey, knock yourselves out- I got another one- yesterday?- fuck, I don't know, since the last NL, anyway, from this Brit nutjob who says he's from Leeds (of Live At fame) who says the NL is "fraught with withering intelligence and a near demonic gloom" ("fraught", yet another great word, and proof, to me, at least, that he is indeed a Brit, cos who else would use a word like that?) and that reading it is like "being mugged by a brain surgeon." I don’t know if its all as intense as that, but thank you for the high (and I'll bet you were) praise, and have you ever thought of doing one of these yourself, cos you can fucking turn a phrase. He also describes himself as being "gay as a flute", what a funny expression, and again, how British. He's offered me a place to stay for free when next I return to the UK- cos it is a when, not an if- and that's very nice of you, Winston- his real name? somehow I doubt it-I may indeed take you up on it, as long as you realize, I'm a pitcher, not a catcher. My Dad may not be coming home on the 29th as scheduled. The people at rehab don’t think he's ready to come home, basically don’t think we're going to be able to take care of him- he's a flat fucking mess, there's no other way to say it- they want him to go to a nursing home for more rehab- he can stay up to 90 days- before coming home. Surprisingly, my mom and sisters have all bought into this, I don’t see the fucking point, myself-he's not gonna be one whit better in 90 days than he is now, I say we just bring his ass home and deal with it- but I'm not up to fighting about it. Lori was saying yesterday, "We're just trying to give you a break" cos I think they're all terrified I'll take care of my Dad for about 3 days and then simply crack and smother his diapered ass, well, you know, thanks for the thought, but when have I ever asked for, or gotten, a fucking break? (HOW ABOUT THE TWO HUNDRED TIMES YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN KILLED, AND YOU WALKED AWAY SMILING?) I wasn't always smiling. (YEAH. SOMETIMES YOU WERE LAUGHING). Hey, cheating the fucking hangman cracks me up for some reason. I get your point, but mine is, I think he'd be much happier and more comfortable at home, I don’t think he's gonna get any better spending the next 90 days in a nursing home, and if I'm going to have to take care of him, I've got no problem with just getting down to it and starting now. But, again, my mom and sisters still hold to the dream that he may somehow get better than he is now with more therapy, and far be it from me to tip over any one else's apple cart. (YEAH, RIGHT). Anyway, I guess he's going to a rehab nursing home bed as soon as one comes open at Sunbridge in Dunbar, like I've said, I think its just pissing in the wind, but I don't have it in me to fight it. In some good news, Aline Bell, well known to all NL readers, called Thursday to check on how my parents are doing, she said she'd still like to make her traditional fall visit up here, and would really love to help us out, but was afraid she'd be in the way. In the WAY? No dear heart, no, you’re an angel from heaven, I asked, can you be here tomorrow? (this is still when I though I was gong to PA) she said of course, so she's at the house staying with my mom even as we speak, and will be there till 10/17, God love her Southern soul. As I've said in here many, many times, my admiration for the entire Bell clan (other than that dirtbag Tracy) is boundless, they are truly good, GOOD people, the kind of person I’d love to be if, you know, I was good. Haven't done too well at getting moved, partly cos I genuinely have not had a lot of time out here to pack and move, and partly cos I haven't really applied myself to the task. It's just something I'm not really wanting to do- this is the second move in four years that's been forced on me, I didn't ask for either of them- and trying to clear out the girl's rooms, I keep flashing back to when we first moved out here four years ago, I tried so fucking HARD to make this a good home for them, it couldn't be our house on Carriage Way, but I tried to make it a home, obviously not successfully cos they bailed on me first chance they got, and I get all tight chested and wet eyed- I'm telling you, there's a part of me that's the biggest goddamn pussy that ever lived. (THAT'S THE PART I LIKE TO BEAT UP). That's the part I LIKE for you to beat up, cos he's no damn good to either one of us, But I'll start packing and then just fizzle off into something else. Like jerking off. I was going to try and move what big stuff- furniture wise- I have next weekend, since it is the first of the month after all, and I'm supposed to be gone by then, but I think now I'm gonna go to the WV Filmmakers thing in Sutton instead, party fucking central from what I hear, and I've already got an offer of a room I can stay in (no, it's not Danny's, and yes, I'll wear a raincoat). Jack and Mary keep asking me if there's anything they can to do to help, I'm gonna tell 'em, give me an extra week or so to get out of here. I don't think they'll care, no one's moving in here right after me anyway. Rachel's talking to her Daddy again. And whoever of you is forwarding these things to her, cut it out. If I met God, you know I'd ask him, man Gay as a flute. Damn, how funny. What's Bill drinking? Well, I did mention a binge there a while back, so it's beer, Budweiser, and plenty of it (I'm well into my second case). Started last night on the ride back from Oak Hill (more on that later) and, other than a few hours sleep- I don’t know, sometime when it was dark- last night, have been at it steady ever since. I was feeling pretty trepidacious- I know that's not a real word- I don't think- but it says what I want to say, when I first started back in about noon today, cos my stomach was already burning to beat hell, telling me, I'm sure, "You know, you're gonna do this to me one time too many, and I'm gonna fucking kill your ass". Whatever. If it's not you, it'll just be something else. I started to say I'm drunk as Jesus right now, but a while back someone wrote in and asked if I'd stop using that phrase, cos it bothered them. Now, you probably figure I told them "Bother this, mother fucker", and you know what, you'd have figured wrong. Out of respect for this person I will never again use the phrase drunk as Jesus in the NL (unless I get way drunk and forget). I'll continue to get as drunk as Jesus, I'll just describe it differently. I'm drunk as Jesco right now. Planning on drinking all night- been there a million times- then meeting Danny tomorrow morning at Kanawha State Forest and watching Robin do her bike race thing- hope it's not too hot cos I'm gonna wear my combat pants with the 900 pockets, a beer in each one- then probably crash and burn tomorrow afternoon and sleep straight through till- I guess it would be Monday. I've actually been working out hard lately, lift wise anyway, getting all thick again in the shoulders and chest, I love how that feels. Not so much aerobically, but it's fucking hard to do an hour on that damn step with my knees screaming at me the whole time. Joe Ng is still alive, still a soldier. Good for you, tough guy. The Lord taketh away, but he also giveth. Danny was kind of frustrated yesterday afternoon- (HE WAS FRUSTRATED!?!) -after we found out the DF was persona non grata at LotR, so he swallowed his pride and called Brain Logan- Logan's got a huge history, including 15 months in prison for a drug fueled act of violence, clearly my kind of guy- promoter of AWA- Apex and told him we were interested in talking to him. He's the guy who was hot after us a couple months ago, but only wanted to use Danny as a manager. Or manger, as I originally typed. We drove down to Oak Hill, and I wish I weren't so damn drunk, cos I'm struggling desperately to finish this fucker. Short version- we're gonna start working for him in Oak Hill, October 11, that's cool, the DF (with Danny managing) is going to start out at the top with a run at the current champ, this huge (6' 3'', 280 pounds) bruiser from Detroit (for real) Mr. Black, and I like that, some big fucker I can really pound on, cos I'm surely getting tired of working- much as I love him- scarecrows like Smokey C.- when they called his weight at the 304 show as 195 I almost fell out of the ring- or hydrocephalic cretins like Unholy- but the really good part is the AWA affiliation. Logan has been able to hook up some of his guys with AWA bookings all over the country, goof balls Vega and Sharp are working an AWA show in Chicago this weekend that Logan got them on, he can also hook workers up with AWA-UK, AWA-Australia, and Zero One in Japan, but he says so far no one here has been interested cos they all have jobs and can't just up and leave the country for 2- 3 weeks. They have WHAT!?! Anyway, I saw the AWA overseas contracts (the AWA gets 10% for the booking, fine, it’s just money, I want to fucking wrestle in JAPAN), so he's not just talking out of his ass, we'll see, this could be the hook up the DF has been looking for. And I already got a really neat AWA t-shirt out of the deal. I got kicked out of the fucking LotR tournament. Jesus CHRIST, why does this shit always happen to me? (BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IMMATURE, ILL NATURED IDIOT WHO ALWAYS ACTS BEFORE HE THINKS). I meant beside that. Holy fuck. I am HAMMERED. I know this is a short one, but it is simply too much effort to try and continue. If I had the chance at another life And I don't care. Period. Later Bill
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