9/29/03

Wimp

I bet you're thinking that you're real great 
Cos you got over, got your hand raised 
Let's go for real if you think you dare 
You're acting tough but I think you're scared 
Cos you're a wimp

Hey

Opening lines adapted freely from the Zeros, "Wimp", Bomp single 110 from June '78. Let me open this one by apologizing to all of you who came to the show Friday expecting to see a good competitive match, and saw the shitty, shitty debacle it was instead. I'm not gpnna go into great detail, and I'm not crying about it, but due to locker room politics I ended up working pretty much a straight job, which was not what I signed up for at all, and if I'd had any clue that was what was up, I'd have either declined, or, since it was a decent pay day, taken it and not invited anyone, or at the very least told them what to expect, which was not much.

Got in a tope, which I think Joe is going to put with this, and Joe made some great signs which my Dad and Sarah carried through the crowd, so that was cool, but over all it was an ugly night, and a total waste of the DF and his abilities, as well as all the damn heat I had built up.

What's Bill drinking? Bud double deuces, again (or maybe still, I don't know) on sale for ninety nine cents per. I'm due, I went, except for one Harpoon up at Chris's when I dropped off tickets, 8 days without a beer, training for a match I could have worked drunk on my ass, and probably should have. Also using it as pain killer, re-hurt my thumb Friday night, as well as breaking my left big toe kicking the locker room wall in frustration later as I was packing up, it's not broken at the joint, but where the toe joins the foot, all purple and swollen and twisted and SORE. Yes, I know I'm a dumbass.

What else has Bill been up to? The girls were in this weekend, it did my old heart a lot of good to see them, they just leave so damn SOON. No, they're not really happy in Baltimore, either of them, among other things they're both coming to the realization that Gandhi is not this Mr. Nice that Loretta has tried to push him as, but is this totally anal, close minded and prejudiced prick ass fucking jerk- don't step on the grass, Sam- it was something they needed to see for themselves as opposed to me telling them, they'll be in next in three weeks, I'm already counting the days (I was supposed to work a Mason Dixon show with Bobby that weekend in Ravenswood but I'm gonna pass for multiple reasons).

We went and saw the CYAC version of "Frankenstein" Saturday night, it was okay, not their best, not their worst. It follows the book, which is an excellent book by the way, stilted old style writing and all, more than the movie, I think my favorite part- I keep trying to type an "s" here and a little blue crescent moon keeps popping up, swear to God, amusing but unsettling, what's up with THAT- of the production were the set and props for the Doctor's (who's a woman in this for some unexplained reason) lab scenes, I've always thought CYAC were really clever and inventive in their set construction, though not their casting.

On a related note, stayed up late one night last week (imagine that, though the insomnia is getting a little better, thank God) and watched the original '31 "Dracula", slow compared to modern versions but entertaining still, Lugosi bugging his eyes is a hoot, but he doesn’t hold a candle to Dwight Frye as the demented Renfield, pretty famous performance, Alice Cooper was moved to write a song about him. My two favorite parts of this most recent viewing were the armadillos(!?) in Dracula's castle, as opposed to his trousers, and when Van Helsing goes "Dracula's in the HOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSEEEE!" He doesn't quite say it like that, but still . . .

Someone asked for my review of "Underworld" before they went to see it, how sweet, well, I haven't seen it, and don't expect to until it maybe makes its appearance at a Movie Club, if then. It looks very style over substance-y to me, as well as very visually dull. Watch the promos, if you see a color that's not black, white or gray I'll give you a nickel. Blah.

Even though the insomnia is better, it's still not gone, been watching old sitcoms on TV Land and Nick At Night, the anime started getting old, been getting back into this hottest sitcom babes of the Sixties thing. Personally, I think Numbers 1 and 2 are given, Jeannie- I look at Barbara Eden in some of those later, color episodes and almost can't believe it, how can someone be that damn beautiful, AND that well built, I mean JESUS, the other night she said "It would give me pleasure to give you pleasure, master", I fell off the damn couch- and Mary Ann, with her painted on micro-shorts, she blows away the more famous Daisy Duke in that respect, who I never rated much anyway, just cos you're willing to show your ass doesn't automatically make it great.

But who's Number 3? Julie Newmar did that show with Bob Cummings, "My Living Doll", where she played that robot he built, they obviously had this thing about gorgeous subservient females back then, but since I know of the show, but really don't remember it, I can't really count her. I know some guys who think Samantha Stevens is hot, she never did a lot for me, I thought she was pretty but not sexy, though I saw one of the late 60's episodes the other night where she was dressed go go style, boots and miniskirt and this choker thing and I have to admit she looked good, that's a look I really love, Loretta used to put on her corset, she looked fantastic, God bless, like she needed it (in those days, anyway, she looked like Grandma fucking Walton when she picked the girls up yesterday, GOOD FOR HER, goddammit) then she'd put on this little bowtie thing as well and I'd just go fucking WILD. Why? I don't have any fucking idea, I just know that bowtie/choker/dog collar deal works me up. I honestly don't think we choose our sexual stimulants or preferences, I think they choose us, and I'm fine with leaving it at that.

Who else? She didn't have Mary Ann's fantastic legs and ass (I wonder, do you women reading this get bored with this kind of stuff? I'll move on to something else soon) but Ginger was still pretty damn hot. Wilbur's wife on Mr. Ed, Connie Hines, was also quite the cutie, though she'd have to be considered something of a dark horse (HA). Then there's the hillbilly contingent- Ellie May, those girls from Petticoat Junction- I could go on, but I'll leave it at this, and reveal my choice for Number 3 hottie sitcom babe of the Sixties next issue. In the meantime, write in and tell me who you think it should be (we are not even going to argue about 1 and 2, okay?) And any woman who wants to vote for 60's sitcom hottie guy (man, good luck- Jed Clampett? Barney Fife?) please do so.

Also watched the Clash "Westway The World" last week on Trio, pretty good documentary, they all came off well verbally, for the most part bright and personable, visually it was another matter, they looked old. Not that they'd aged particularly badly, cos other than Topper "heroin makes your head shrink" Headon, they hadn't, I just remembered them as how they looked in the late 70's, and it was a bit jarring. They got a bit full of themselves during their career- "The Only Band That Matters", hey, fuck YOU- but they got a great catalog, and their first album (British version) is still one of my all time favorites.

In fact, what is Bill listening to now? "He's in love with rock and roll, whoa/He's in love with getting stoned, whoa/He's in love with Janie Jones, whoa/He don't like his boring job, no". Great stuff.

That was followed by a half hour on The Jam, another great band, but another Trio hatchet job on what was obviously a much longer documentary.

On the heels of announcing my friend's prostate cancer last issue, I came across this article on pc on that MSN shit that pops up when your computer comes on and it said (and I swear I'm not making this up) that guys who ejaculate five or more times a week were 70% less likely to develop prostate cancer. I'm not sure how they came by their figures, or statistics, but that's what it said, so there you go guys, your fate's in your own hands.

Jason was supposed to graduate from the police academy Friday, and since I've heard nothing to the contrary, I assume he's now one of Charleston's Finest. Good for you, big boy. Who'd have thunk five years ago when we were doing the CCIL thing we'd be where we are today. Have to say you've probably got me beat in that department.

Hey, and the Cubbies won the Central, how about that? Harry Carey's probably up in Heaven right now eating a hot dog with jam on it, chugging Buds, and going "Central Division Champs is Spmahc Noisivid Lartnec backward, right Steve? . . . Steve? Ah, fug it, who want to sit on my head?"

Moving on to literary concerns, finished The Years Of Rice And Salt, pretty damn boring all the way through, don't recommend it at all, I kept reading and reading, going, when does the STORY start. Lots of philosophizing on government and religion- myself, I think I'd like it most, and function best, in a pagan matriarchy, which now that I think of it, was pretty much what I was raised in- but no story. Started "The Monkey's Raincoat", good so far, also borrowed "The Day The World Exploded" from Chris when I was up there the other night, about the Krakatoa explosion, it looked pretty good but I sold it earlier tonight for money to buy these DDs, so I don't know, maybe Chris can just tell me how it was and then I can tell you.

Actually back to the writing myself, not just watching TV at night, in fact I finished "If You Wanna Play . . ." a novelette about my P.I. persona, sent it off to EQMM, if and when I hear anything back, I'll let you know.

I think the James boys moved in somewhere over the hill from here. Last Wednesday morning between 2 and 2:30 am some guy or guys were having a fucking firefight, I counted over 90 shots, lots of them in bursts of 12- what the fuck has a 12 round clip, you gun guys?- but not all, they were also firing off something else, sounded bigger. It was LOUD, and pretty close, and annoying, I wasn't asleep, but they didn't know that. Pissed me right off. Every now and then you'll hear shots at night out here, I think it's people jack-lighting deer, but this was like warfare. Asked Jack the next day if he had any idea what all the shooting had been about, and in typical Jack fashion he said he hadn't heard a thing. I envy that man his obliviousness like you wouldn’t believe.

I'd recommend some good movies for October, but since I currently don’t have TV- an involved story I just don't wanna get into right now- I'm not into it. Hopefully I'll have reception, and the interest, by next issue. The October DirecTV Guide has Salma Hayek on the cover looking delectable- she's another one of those either/or girls, didn't think much of her in the WW West remake- not that I SAW it, what the fuck do you take me for, the Fresh Prince as James West, uh uh, and just totally fuck the whole idea anyway, no, I saw the previews when I went to see something else- but she looked hot as fire as the vampire dancer in "From Dusk To Dawn", another shit poor movie by the way. She looks very made up/air brushed in this photo, though, so who knows how she really looks. I remember seeing a candid picture of Vanessa Williams out walking her dog one morning, I swear to God, I couldn't tell which was which.

This one is a little shorter than usual, but I'm done, and actually tired, so I'm putting it, and me, to bed.

A working class hero is something to be.

Later

Bill