I think that I would most likely stop smoking if I
could be entered into a contest saying that if I stayed
quit for a year that I would win a million dollars.
(make that a million dollars for each year that I am
able to stay quit.) Isn't that funny, the way we say,
"stay quit"? I mean either you quit or you don't right?
That's a "sort of pregnant" type statement.
Have been reading Harry Potter, the Half Blood Prince
and I am enjoying it. I only started reading it a few
days ago and I'm already over 200 pages into the book. I
read my books like they are a scrumptous dessert, some
little "get-away" that I allow myself. A regrouping of
such. I like to eat something while I read. Since the
chocolate days are over now, I have switched to a much
less fattening way to give me my oral fix. I don't allow
myself to smoke downstairs, especially near my clothes
or furniture. I figure my cats do well enough on their
own to "decorate" the air and smoke would only putrify
that further.
Anyway, I decided that I would do some fun, creative
stuff, in a myspace sort of way. I started my reading
and commenting, then I would take a little break and go
do another round of clothes in the washer, or mop the
kitchen floor, or water the plants, inside and out, I'm
doing myspace and my work. It works like a charm for me.
The creative stuff happened when I start looking at my
chaotic_pic and just suddenly become TIRED of it. I look
through my other choices and thought, gee, I'm really
sick of all of these but I don't necessarily want to
delete them 'cause I like the comments. I'm feeling
differently today than any of these pictures can say
about me. So, I put some new ones up. I've gotten some
nice comments and that makes me smile. So anyway . .
.
I'm in the process of frequent checks on the
relationship front. I am learning that when people say
and do insensitive things sometimes, that is not
necessarily what defines the whole relationship. We take
the bad with the good. I believe that if I am still
happy with most of the relationship, then I should
overlook minor, puzzling things that happen sometimes
when we are busy or depressed. The point being that real
friends will understand that about each other. We all
have friends that we just shake our heads about. In a
loving way. But still, we just don't see eye to eye on
everything.
But there could be a time when one may encounter a
situation that would indeed become a breaking point.
It's possible there is a breaking point with each of us
in our relationships with others. I was telling my cuz
that each time I'm puzzled by human behavior, I add that
into the equation. I'm not begrudging them to these
thoughts, reactions or actions any longer, thank God.
But I do add it into the processing of any relationship
now. I'm beginning to see that we all have our own
filters to life. These filters are placed there through
our personal experiences, by our parents' idealology, by
religion, by education, and the media, that we have
unique ways of seeing the same information differently.
And so, if I am more happy than not, I continue to enjoy
the relationship for as long as it should last and if I
become more sad, than happy, then I will learn from it
and move on.
Will that person be remembered with fondness? Will
they be remembered in anger? Or will they just be
forgotten. I don't think I could stay angry with many
for long at all. I also don't see myself forgetting
truly hurtful things, just as I tend to remember the
really great things so much more. But I do think that
there are some that leave me feeling numb. I'm not sure
what to think. So, I have digressed and that is all I
have to say at this point on this particular Saturday.
