Parent/Teacher Conferences (Parent Tips)

Words of advice. Never take just the word of your child, even if he or she has an impeccable record for telling the truth. It is very often not the truth that is the issue as much as it is the "perceived" truth of the incident.

Never go straight to the superintendent first. He or she will undoubtedly ask, have you spoken with the principal or the teacher yet? And the same holds true if you go to the prinicipal first - he or she will ask if you have talked with the teacher. Save yourself, and others, the time and frustration by following the protocol or rather the "chain of command." We start with the lower end and work up.

Here are some behavior management tips that you may find helpful. These tips are offered by Lee Canter and Associate, Parents on Your Side

1. Tell your child how you expect him or her to behave in school.

   Speak clearly and directly. Sit down with your child and in a no-nonsense, serious manner, let him or her know that you are setting the rules. Look your child in the eyes and say: "Misbehavior at school will not be tolerated. I know you can behave. I care about you and love you too much to allow you to misbehave at school."

   It is very important that you remain calm while speaking. Don't yell or scream. Speak in a firm, clear tone of voice. By staying calm you will let your child know you are in control.

2. Avoid arguments. Use the Broken-Record technique.

   When you tell your child to do something, chances are you'll get an argument back. Don't fall into the trap of arguing with your child. Arguing is not useful. You must stick to your point and let your child know that you mean business. A technique called the Broken Record will help you avoid fruitless arguments. Let your child know beforehand what the consequences will be if he or she chooses to disobey. It is also helpful at times, to point out that it is a choice that they can freely make on their own, whether to obey or not.

3. Back up your words with actions If your child chooses to continue to misbehave, you must be ready to back up your words with actions. This means that you must have disciplinary consequences chosen that you will use that your child does not like. The action should not be physically or psychologically harmful. Taking away privileges, such as watching TV or talking on the phone, is often effective. Grounding is also effective in some instances. With younger children, grounding could mean being restricted to their rooms for a certain amount of time. For older children, it could mean having to stay at home for a certain amount of days. Remember, stay calm and always forgive and forget once the child has recieved the consequence.