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UPDATED ON 10/7/15
The following are letters I
have written and published in the Times-Standard and the HSU
Lumberjack dating from 2003. I took a 6 year break from
writing letters in the T-S from 1998 to 2004. Before 2004
the T-S published around 60 letters or more that I wrote between
1992 and 1998. And between 1982 and 1990 the Del Norte
Triplicate published over 100 letters I wrote when I lived
“FISHER” DOESN’T GIVE ALL SIDES TO
Anyone (student or professor) who has completed their general
education requirements in critical thinking and the social
sciences should be able to see through the flaws of the film
“Antwone Fisher” which is a glorious success story about a
survivor of child abuse and his therapist.
As a survivor of child abuse I feel compelled to write about the
other side of the story when it comes to therapists and survivors.
I have a high IQ and I was an honor student in both high school
and college (Pi Gamma Mu). This may sound shocking, but I
discovered that therapists in general are biased, they lack
critical thinking skills, and they are non-supportive of critical
thinking skills in survivors.
I found that in therapy, clients are not supposed to think
critically about the schools of thought which therapists believe
in. You are supposed to accept whatever your therapist tells you
without thinking critically about where their thoughts come from
and the scientific validity or invalidity of their theories.
Instead of being encouraged to think critically, I was put down
for thinking critically.
There can be a dark side to therapists which the public should
know about; they can be blind, arrogant, anti-supportive and
condescending. However, I did not give up on psychology as a
science, especially when I discovered the difference between
research psychology and therapeutic psychology. And that
difference is a world of difference when it comes to critical
thinking, honesty, intelligence and discovery.
Published in the Humboldt State University Lumberjack 1/22/03
ABUSE SURVIVOR SPEAKS
The month of April was designated “Child Abuse Prevention and
Awareness Month” sometime in the 1980s. Awareness implies
knowledge, and knowledge implies education. But as a survivor of
child abuse I have to say there is not much awareness in the
academic world when it comes to awareness of what a “survivor” is
and what survives in survivors. There are plenty of theories.
However, I realized upon going back to college that nobody in the
academic world, on any level, could have understood me as a
“survivor” because there is more to understanding and
communication than theories. And I am not a theory. Nor am I a
scientific model, or a mental image.
What survived in me was elementally human. But what is
elementally human is beyond cultures, beyond art and music, beyond
philosophy, beyond organized religion and beyond contemporary
cutting-edge theories in the social and psychological sciences.
On this month’s cover of “National Geographic” a mother gazes
into the eyes of a child who gazes into her eyes. Do we know what
is elementally human? My parents and siblings couldn’t see it or
reflect it. For that very reason, I became abused.
What is a survivor? What survives? I think of an important scene
in the film “A Beautiful Mind” when Alicia Nash decides to stay
with her brilliant, but schizophrenic husband. She holds his hand
in her hand while touching his face and says: “This, is real.” She
was referring to something which is elementally human. And that is
something which transcends culture and cultures. And it transcends
war and anti-war. It is an awareness of what survives.
But, who can see it? Who can reflect it? Those are inescapable
questions for survivors who enter or re-enter college in America
or in any culture. They are questions which still haunt me.
Published in the Humboldt State University Lumberjack
I am writing this letter as a follow-up to two letters (Jan 22
and April 30) which I wrote last Spring semester pertaining to
child abuse and the academic and professional worlds of the social
and psychological sciences. The reason why I wrote those letters
is because I plan to give two presentations at HSU during this
academic year. The letters were for the purpose of gaining the
attention and interest of Lumberjack readers about these
The first presentation will be near the end of this semester and
it will be titled “How I Became a Semantic Wild Child and a Victim
Without a Culture.” The other presentation will be near the end of
next semester and called “Survivor Myth, Survivor Image, Survivor
Reality: seeking the truth about victims and survivors of child
A year from now I expect to be on the major television news
journals, CBS “60 Minutes”; NBC “Dateline,” and ABC “20/20.” The
reason why I expect this is because I am going to launch a media
news story: “Survivor of child abuse claims to be 50 years ahead
of cutting-edge social and psychological sciences in understanding
the effects of child abuse.” I will announce that it is going to
take a Nobel prize-winning type effort to understand the enigmatic
effects of child abuse, and why this effort is needed. I will
explain that no such organized effort currently exists, and I will
share my detailed plans for organizing and funding such an effort.
Usually in the sciences, when someone claims to be 50 years or
more ahead of their time, they are expected to publish lengthy
articles in major scientific journals to substantiate their
claims. And then the rest of the scientific and academic
communities wait for such articles to be published in periodicals
which appear in university libraries. But I have no intention of
taking that route. If journals want to publish what I have to say
in my presentations, then that is fine. But, I expect to be on
national television long before they get around to realizing that
I am 50 years ahead of academics who publish and read those
I don’t need publication in any major journals to show that I am
50 years ahead of the cutting-edges in the social and
psychological sciences. All I need is 400 words in my next
Lumberjack letter 30 days from now.
Published in the Humboldt State University Lumberjack
LOCAL MAN 50 YEARS AHEAD OF MODERN
As an enigmatic survivor of child abuse I had no choice but to
become 50 or more years ahead of cutting-edge social and
First it took me years to realize that I was an enigmatic
survivor. My needs and problems as a survivor were enigmatic in
the sense that present-day scientists could not understand how
child abuse had affected me. I had to learn the cutting-edges of
the social and psychological sciences in order to make that
discovery. And I felt confident in teaching myself such material,
considering that I graduated from my high school (Santana) as the
most honored student in mathematics and science; and before I
entered college I taught myself the first year of calculus, in
three weeks, so successfully that my college math professor said I
was the most brilliant student she ever had.
But over 30 years ago I dropped out of college for reasons which
nobody could understand. It took me years to discover how it was
all related to early child abuse; and it took me decades to heal
My most important discovery was that the social and psychological
sciences were not advanced enough (to this day) to understand how
child abuse had affected me with an enigmatic dissociation. This
dissociation was a necessary part of a natural healing process
which I observed and carefully recorded for over 20 years; I call
it "Meta-Semantic Death, Meta-Semantic Numbness, Meta-Semantic
Recovery." I had no choice but to discover the enigmatic nature of
both the dissociation and the recovery process.
Progress is part of science. Progress means there are always
phenomena in the present which scientists won’t be able to
understand until sometime in the future. Otherwise, there would be
no need for research. An honest science vigorously pursues
enigmatic phenomena. But first the science has to acknowledge its
There was a point in my life when I had to acknowledge that child
abuse affected me in a way which modern scientists couldn’t
understand. I had no choice but to pursue the unknown and make a
discovery. I had to accept possibilities, and be open; that is
what scientists and critical thinkers are supposed to do.
I lived a shattered life. But I discovered order and beauty in
the fragments. And I saw beauty in science once again; and that
beauty is sacred. No culture can claim it!
Published in the Humboldt State University Lumberjack
"SEMANTIC WILD CHILD" WILL UNLEASH
KNOWLEDGE ON MEDIA
It’s me again, the “semantic wild child.” I wrote four letters
last year pertaining to the effects of child abuse. I am writing
this final letter to inform the Lumberjack readers of my website
The website is about two presentations which I hope to give this
semester: “How I Became a Semantic Wild Child and a Victim Without
a Culture” in March and “Survivor Myth, Survivor Image, Survivor
Reality” in April. In the second presentation I will make what
will be arguably the three important announcements ever made to
the world media pertaining to this subject matter.
Information about these presentations are on my webpage. My email
address is email@example.com. I need as many readers as
possible to contact me so I can make arrangements with HSU to
reserve a hall on campus for these presentations.
Please think about the following:
If social and psychological scientists want to know how child
abuse affects people they are going to have to communicate with
victims and survivors of child abuse rather than “communicate”
with just the victims and survivors who fit the theories, images
and models projected by their disciplines and schools of thought.
Enigmatic victims and survivors are those victims who don’t fit
the models, theories and images, and they don’t get any support
because scientists are biased and they support only the victims
and survivors who fit their preconceived theories, models and
If nobody shows the real beauty of science to them, then they
will always think that science and scientists are ugly. And
scientists will never be able to communicate with them in order to
find out how child abuse affected them in ways which present-day
science cannot understand. And if scientists cannot communicate
with them, then there cannot be any progress. And without
progress, science cannot exist because progress is a part of
Published in the Humboldt State University Lumberjack
GENTLENESS IS WHAT CAN HEAL THE
<> I share my thoughts on the Times-Standard
“Aftermath of Childhood Abuse” article on March 6th. The aftermath
of my abuse has left me with the following insights and revelations.
At a very young age I had to defend the good
inside myself, the good inside my soul, before I had any kind of
cultural identity or ethnic identity.
There will always be this child in me, this
person who needed (and needs) to have others to see the good in me,
and needs to have others I can see the good in. I will always have
this need forever.
And this need is what makes me a human being. It
isn’t culture or ethnicity which makes me a human being. Nor is it a
religious affiliation which makes me a human being. Instead it is
this need which makes me a human being, a person with a soul. And
that need will never change.
After writing over a hundred letters on child
abuse published in the Times-Standard and the Del Norte Triplicate
over the past twenty years, I realized that people in the world are
generally not evolved enough to understand this need which is
The need has to be experienced, not theorized.
I hope someday everyone in the world can view
child abuse survivors as mirrors of themselves; our needs reflect
what is elementally human.
Be gentle with survivors.
And learn gentleness through survivors.
Gentleness is what heals the world and helps the
Published in the Eureka Times-Standard 3/31/04
FIGHTING CHILD ABUSE WILL TAKE SOME
Lots of deep thoughts went through my mind after
I saw the large 8/22 Times-Standard announcement for the regional
Native American conference on child abuse hosted by Two Feathers in
McKinleyville. My most important thought is a question which
should be on the minds of people in all cultures and races
throughout the world. And that question is: "What can a
civilized society do for the victims of child abuse?"
The first thing people should know is that it
hasn't happened yet! What a civilized society can do for child
abuse victims hasn't been done yet by any society.
A civilized society would show great care and
concern for the victims of child abuse who have needs and problems
which modern scientists presently cannot understand.
In a civilized society, counselors and therapists
would stress the importance of further research to help them
understand the victims and survivors whom they cannot
understand. Civilized counselors and therapists would make
public their failures and limitations.
A civilized society would put together a Nobel
prize-winning type effort to understand the effects of child
abuse. And scientists in a civilized society would inform the
people that such an effort is required, and funds are needed.
Communities in a civilized world would respond
with an international research and fundraising organization similar
to the American Cancer Society.
None of this has happened yet. But it can
happen. And Redwood Country could become world headquarters
for a newly civilized world.
It requires only inspiration, and guts.
Published in the Times-Standard 9/22/04
HUMBOLDT COULD LEAD IN
This is a reminder of my Sept 22 Times-Standard
letter about a Nobel prize-winning type effort to understand the
effects of child abuse.
I said that communities can be part of that
effort the same way that the American Cancer Society raises funds
for awareness and research about cancer.
I said that world headquarters for such an
organization could be in Humboldt County and all it takes is guts
We will have a science committee and a religious
The first agreement in our religious committee is
that the question "What can a civilized world do for the victims of
child abuse?" is a question that comes from the highest place.
The first agreement in our science committee is
that regardless of where the question comes from, we agree that the
answer is a Nobel prize-winning type effort to understand the
effects of child abuse. And we know that such an organized and
focused effort currently does not exist.
These are simple agreements; not arguments.
We will establish the brightest shining light in
the world when it comes to scientific knowledge and research
pertaining to child development and life span development. And
we will keep the light shining through world fundraising. We
will establish international headquarters and a beacon of
More information will come in the new year,
including a website.
We value and celebrate wisdom, science and
The future is ours to make and celebrate.
Make something beautiful. Believe it!
Published in the Times-Standard 1/9/05
GUTS, INSPIRATION ARE SADLY LACKING
I have written some recent letters about a Nobel
prize-winning type effort to understand the effects of child abuse
and creating an organization to raise funds for such an
effort. In those letters I used the words "guts and
Whenever something is perceived as a challenge,
guts and inspiration follow. But first it has to be perceived
as a challenge.
But what if it isn't perceived as a
challenge? Or what if some people perceive the challenge as a
challenge for other people? But then what if those "other
people" can't perceive the challenge because they are too afraid to
admit that there are unknown scientific aspects about child
development and life span development that they don't understand and
nobody yet understands?
What I have just described is a situation in
which nobody has guts and inspiration, because people are either too
afraid to acknowledge the challenge, or people naively believe that
other people are acknowledging the challenge.
I wrote about guts and inspiration because I
discovered that the real world didn't yet have guts and
But once people perceive the challenge and accept
the challenge, there will be guts, inspiration and a Nobel
prize-winning type effort, naturally. And there will be a
bright shining light of new knowledge.
But we must celebrate now! The celebration
of wisdom, science and critical thinking takes us to where we are
going. We are poetry in motion, regardless of when and where
world headquarters is established.
Published in the Times-Standard 2/14/05
LEAD THE WAY TO A CIVILIZED WORLD
Due to recent world disasters involving
earthquakes, tsunamis and terrorist acts, we are all familiar with
the importance of communities and cities sending in search and
rescue parties to search for victims still trapped in collapsed
buildings. It is the civilized thing to do. And any
community which failed to search for trapped victims would be called
As a survivor of child abuse I must make an
important analogy pertaining to the above.
I discovered that nobody in the world, in any
country or community, is searching for the victims of child abuse
who have been affected in ways which modern science has yet to
understand. There is no "search and rescue party" to find them
and discover why science cannot understand how they have been
Of course, science is about progress. And
that means there will always be phenomena in the present which
science will not understand until sometime in the future.
But science is not about ignorance or
neglect. Science is about challenge and discovery!
My definition of "a search and rescue party"
begins with my plans to create a nationally televised primetime
panel discussion of leading scientists to discuss the question: "The
Truth About Researching the Effects of Child Abuse."
A civilized world can respond with an
international organization similar to the American Cancer
Society. World headquarters can be here in Humboldt
We can celebrate the beauty of discovery, and we
can lead the way to our becoming a more civilized world.
Published in the Times-Standard 3/29/05
IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO HEAL CHILD
Anyone who says there are no unknown scientific
aspects to child development and lifespan development is not a
Science is about challenge!
Take physics for example, anyone who said there
are no unknown aspects of the cosmos for physicists to discover
would not be a scientist; and anyone who did not support moving
forward by researching the unknown aspects (challenges) of the
physical universe would not be a cosmologist, either.
There are unknown aspects to the effects of child
abuse, and many of those aspects are related to the unknown
scientific aspects of child development and lifespan
If anyone wants to support science moving
forward, then I suggest they vigorously support the creation of a
nationally televised panel discussion of scientists to discuss the
challenges that lie ahead in "The Truth About Researching the
Effects of Child Abuse."
There should be vigorous support in every
community because there are enigmatic child abuse victims in every
And if enigmatic victims knew there was such
vigorous support, perhaps they would eventually surface and begin
communication with people who really want to get acquainted with
them, if they sincerely want to get acquainted with them.
This should happen in every community. And
communities can set examples for each other throughout the
"It takes a village to raise a child." And
it takes "villages" to heal child abuse.
But this person is not ready to surface and
communicate beyond writing these letters.
First I need support and sincerity.
Published in the Times-Standard 6/6/05
DON'T FORGET THE VICTIMS
There is no rule in God's universe that
says anyone has to get acquainted with enigmatic victims of child
abuse. I am referring to victims who have needs and problems
which scientists don't presently understand, but someday they will
There is no rule that says anyone has to get
acquainted with us.
However, I don't believe that it is possible in
God's universe for anyone to get acquainted with children and the
world of children without also getting acquainted with child abuse
victims. And I don't believe it is right for anyone to talk
about child abuse victims without getting acquainted with enigmatic
victims and survivors.
There are actually people in this world who think
they can know children and the world of children without ever
knowing the world of child abuse and child abuse victims and
And there are people who think they can know the
world of child abuse victims and survivors without ever knowing or
getting acquainted with the most enigmatic victims.
But those people are naive! And such naive
people are likely to call themselves and think of themselves as
I pity such people because they don't know both
the real world of children and the true world of elders. They
don't know God's universe and Mother Nature. And they don't
really understand the beautiful world of critical thinking and
I believe this is an important message between
They are the worlds mentioned above.
Published in the Times-Standard 9/5/05
WHO DARES TO DEFINE HUMANITY?
"Whose culture is it anyway?" That was the
question on the cover of the Sunday October 9th
That is an important question for everyone in
every culture, and for every generation in every culture. It
is a good question. But it doesn't just apply to Native
Americans and their own past, present and future.
What about the rest of us?
Who are we? What are our mirrors?
Whose mirror is it, anyway?
I am reminded of one of the most important books
of the 20th century, "The Meaning of Meaning" written by Ogden and
Richards (1923). They discuss semantics and meaning, and they
mention the "proper meaning superstition" which is about how words
are not absolutes. Words don't have absolute meaning.
Instead, words have subjective meanings constructed by subjective
minds. And that surely includes words for cultures.
What defines a culture are the people who agree
to its definition. And people should definitely have the
opportunity to agree or disagree to a culture's definition and sort
out the integral parts of the definition for clarity.
This even applies to academics. Take for
instance the word "psychology." There are dozens of schools of
thought in psychology. And they all have different definitions
of "human nature." If they didn't have different definitions
of human nature then there would be just one psychology and one
science called "psychology."
So, whenever we come upon the word "psychology"
we should ask: "Whose 'psychology' is it, anyway?"
Who dares to define human nature?
Published in the Times-Standard 12/2/05
CHILDREN REACH FOR TRUE WISDOM
During the week of September 26th through the
29th PBS televised documentaries on the 1960s, including four hours
on Bob Dylan.
But the only two important events that stand out
for me during that decade was a spectacular comet with a long tail
that rose in the darkness before dawn.
The other important event was a television show
that began by announcing: "You are about to experience the awe and
mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer
I was in high school during the mid-sixties, and
I was trying to get over months of depression which followed a
suicide attempt. It wasn't until the late 70s that I
discovered that my depression and suicide attempt were connected to
my repressed childhood of abuse and extreme terror.
When I woke up from the repression, my inner mind
reawakened to a terrorized child reaching out for something.
And the energy released upon reawakening was so radical and intense
that it obliterated and disintegrated my cultural identity as an
adult who had once lived through the 1960s.
Do scientists know what terrorized children reach
out for, like the terrorized Afghanistan girl on the world famous
cover of National Geographic magazine?
The answer lies outside the outer limits of
present scientific knowledge. But science will inevitably
Science will understand that we reach out for
something that is beyond cultures and historical eras.
What lies beyond terror is timeless wisdom.
Children reach for it!
Hope it reaches Earth!
Published in the Times-Standard 1/19/06
MANY MYSTERIES TO SOLVE
"Science loves a mystery." Those words were
highlighted in bold in the January 19th Times-Standard article on
Those words are more important than most people
realize, because if anyone really wants to know the heart and soul
of science and scientists, one has to know that science loves
mysteries and scientists love mysteries.
Unfortunately, most people don't love mysteries
the way scientists love mysteries. Some people love mysteries,
but they don't realize that real scientists love mysteries,
too. And some sciences that are called "science" don't love
mysteries at all!
My journey in science began in high school with
"The Queen of Science." Mathematics!
The quote is from Gauss, who nearly didn't become
a mathematician because his passions were evenly balanced and
divided between mathematics and philology, the science of literary
My journey in science, math and physics was
severely interrupted in my early 20s because of enigmatic personal
complications. Years later I began to study the social and
psychological "sciences." I know enough about those sciences
now to know that most people in those fields don't love mysteries at
all! They dread mysteries because they dread the likely
probability that there is more to human nature than they already
know. Real scientists love challenge, exploration and
And what about religious people? Do we love
mysteries? I hope so!
I hope I live in a world inspired by the
mysteries of science and everyday life, including the mysteries of
Mother Nature and human nature.
Published in the Times-Standard 4/1/06
ARE THEY SCIENTISTS OR JUST
Can you imagine how absurd it would be if someone
said they had a plan to land humans on Mars and the entire project
would cost only a thousand dollars? Imagine if someone said
they had a plan for eradicating AIDS and creating a vaccine and the
whole project would require only a thousand dollars? Any sane
person would look at such people as being lamebrains.
Years ago I graduated from my high school as the
most honored student in science and mathematics. My first
college math professor said that I was the most brilliant student
she ever had. But then my life became complicated because I
started feeling the hidden effects of child abuse which came to
haunt me and my mind, my nervous system, my spirit, my soul, my
emotions. I had to drop out of college and uncover the
Unfortunately I had to find out that the vast
majority of academics and professionals in the social and
psychological sciences are lamebrains when it comes to understanding
the effects of child abuse because they seem to think that it is not
going to take billions of dollars of research to understand the
effects, and that it is not going to take a major fundraising effort
to raise such funds (an effort similar to the American Cancer
Many of the lamebrains think that research
funding isn't necessary at all because they think they already
understand child development and lifespan development.
Mistakenly, they call themselves
Published in the Times-Standard 6/13/06
LAMEBRAINS WON'T UNDERSTAND ABUSE
When I went back to college I read Thomas Kuhn's
world famous book "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions."
He points out, very clearly, the differences between sciences and
schools of thought. That was when I realized that psychology
and sociology are not sciences as much as they are schools of
thought; and neither discipline was able to understand how child
abuse had affected me.
In fact, in order to understand how child abuse
had affected me I had to research the disciplines of communication
theory and verbal and nonverbal meaning acquisition and
communication acquisition. It was those stages of development
which had been affected, and which continue to affect me. And
there are still decades of research ahead for science to understand
normal meaning acquisition and communication acquisition, plus how
those acquisitions are connected with normal emotional acquisition,
cultural acquisition, socialization, a sense of self, a sense of
It is stupid and lame-brained for anyone to think
they can understand child development and lifespan development
without researching verbal and nonverbal communication acquisition
and meaning acquisition.
Unfortunately, I had to find out that there are
lots of lamebrains in this world. But that is what the
lamebrains don't want society to know, the media to know, and people
who read newspapers to know!
Well, now you know!
It is going to take a scientific revolution (not
lamebrains) to understand the effects of child abuse.
You know it!
Angels know it!
All good people should know it.
Published in the Times-Standard 8/31/06
UNCOVER THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUTH
Recently on PBS “NOVA” was the documentary
“Mystery of the Megavolcano.” One of the scientists stated:
“Volcanology is a young science and there is still much that we
really don’t know.”
It is disappointingly unfortunate that social and
psychological scientists don’t have the same intelligence to make a
similar statement about human nature and what they really don’t know
about child development and lifespan development. All they
have are different models constructed from different schools of
The philosopher John Stuart Mill once stated:
“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to
exactly do the work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to
grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of
the inward forces which make it a living thing.”
Like many other child abuse victims I was treated
as a mere machine by my parents and siblings. And then I tried
to get “help” from people with degrees in the social and
psychological sciences, only to be treated as a mere machine
again! Others have been treated similarly, and the media and
society needs to know the truth.
Science is good, but more research is needed on
the inward forces which make human beings human, including
communication and an innate sense of the sacred.
Here under the tallest and oldest living trees in
the world is the right place to headquarter a world research and
fundraising organization to uncover the truth about youth and human
Published in the Times-Standard 11/17/06
GIVE THE GIFT OF ILLUMINATION
I am a child abuse victim!
(this letter was written with
the intention of it being published before Christmas 2006)
Winter and solstice is the time of year I think
most about light and the dark.
There is illumination related to discovery and
knowledge; but there is the darkness of illusion.
My parents believed in the illusion that they
understood children and life. I was brutalized because of
their illusion. After years of repression I sought help from
people with degrees in the social and psychological “sciences,” only
to find out that they were living in illusions, too. They have
the illusion that they understand child development and lifespan
development because they mistake schools of thought for science.
And then in America, April is designated "Child
Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month," but it fools people into the
dark illusion that significant progress is being made, when the
truth is that the "system" has failed countless enigmatic victims
like myself. And nobody cares to discover why!
But here under the tallest and oldest living
trees, we can create a research and fundraising organization, our
gift of light and illumination for the children of the past, the
present and the future. People who believe in scientists, and
people who believe in angels, can cooperate around the world and
help to raise billions of dollars for research. It will be our
gift under the redwood trees, our headquarters for this world
organization, our gift to children.
We can give the gift of illumination, and we can
dispel the darkness of many illusions.
Published in the Times-Standard 1/3/07
REAL WORLD OF CHILD ABUSE
"In a world..." What? What
world? Whose world? This is a letter
about "coming attractions." No! Not
This letter is about the coming attraction (a
preview) of the real world of child abuse victims and survivors
according to us victims and survivors, and not according to the way
our world is previewed by academics who think they know about our
world just because they have been to college and have earned college
degrees and think they can preview our world for the media and for
the public with their designation of "April, Child Abuse Awareness
Month." You don't speak for us, and nobody in our world of
victims and survivors gave you the permission to represent us!
If we had given you permission, we would have gotten together and
voted on whether or not you are qualified to know
Unfortunately, we survivors have not yet formed a
In a world that doesn't have a democracy, and no
true representation of truth, we are going to create a world of
This letter is a preview of that world; it will
be an international World Honor Society for Adult and Adolescent
Victims and Survivors of Child Abuse. We are also going to
have a "Survivor's World Declaration of Independence" to declare
independence from anybody and everybody who falsely represents us
and our needs and problems.
We aren't in movies, in newspapers, or on
television. But we are here!
We are shining stars!
Stay tuned for more information!
Published in the Times-Standard 4/11/07
REALIZATION OF MENTAL, EMOTIONAL
PROBLEMS TAKES MATURITY
enjoyed reading your excellent series of investigative reporting
on the condition of mental health care in Humboldt County and
I have written letters about the effects of
child abuse in northcoast newspapers for over twenty years, and
I am patiently getting closer and closer to forming a world
honor society for adult and adolescent victims of child abuse,
and also a non-profit sister organization to raise millions of
dollars of funds to research the mental, emotional and neural
effects of child abuse.
Unfortunately, I tried to get help, support
and understanding from professionals in the mental health
professions, but it didn't work for me, and I'm sure it doesn't
work for many others who have enigmatic problems which can only
be understood in terms of future research rather than past
It takes a lot of maturity for a person to
admit to themselves that they have mental and emotional
problems. And it also takes an incredible maturity and
courage to discover and realize that one's needs and problems
are beyond the current cutting edges of science and
therapy. Without that level of faith, courage and
maturity, enigmatic victims like myself cannot survive mentally
or emotionally. We have no choice! Modern therapists
don't understand how mature we are, nor how serious we
Science is about challenge, exploration and
discovery. But I have to say that I respect journalists
more as scientists than the people who work in the mental health
system, because they don't pursue challenge, exploration and
discovery as much so as journalists and writers. The
exception are the social and psychological scientists who are at
the very cutting edges of research; they respect the complexity
and mystery of human nature.
Furthermore, I think America itself lacks
maturity. We think we are a religious nation of
spiritually mature people. But we are not spiritually
mature enough to treat fellow human beings (the mentally ill)
like brothers and sisters.
Honor and respect is something that every
person needs. It is a spiritual challenge to directly
experience and explore that need, and discover where it takes
Published in the Eureka Reporter 5/31/07
RESEARCH EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE
In light of the recent news about
the $660 Million settlement the Catholic Church made with victims of
child abuse, I would like to remind readers that someday the north
coast is going to become world headquarters for a world honor
society for adult and adolescent survivors of child abuse. It
will also be world headquarters for a sister organization to raise
funds to research the effects of child abuse.
Each organization will have a religious committee
and a science committee. And people of all religions all over
the world are invited to join in helping to raise awareness, and to
raise billions of dollars of funds for research. And the
beauty, the goodness and the light of what we will be doing is going
to far outshine any and all darkness, ignorance and evil in this
world pertaining to child abuse and pertaining to any ignorance of
These organizations are going to take time and
patience to create. Chances are that I am far more patient
than anyone who reads my letters. And I need time to
For now I want to say that the primary agreement
in the religious committees is that the question "What can a
civilized world do for the victims of child abuse?" is a question
that comes from the highest place. All members agree!
And once we establish world headquarters then the
north coast will evolve into a world spiritual center more
significant to humanity than the Vatican.
Published in the Times-Standard 7/27/07
PROFESSORS DON'T WANT TO LEARN
This is the time of year ("back-to-school") when
I think most about all of the academics I have met in my life who
pretend to value the learning process. Many of them suffer
from a unique form of dissociation. They want to believe that
they value learning, and they become educators because they want to
teach. But they themselves don't want to learn. They
only "learn" for the purpose of becoming educators. But when
it comes to learning new things, they are resistant, and they are
not aware of their own resistance. And that unawareness is why
they are actually dissociated. Part of them values learning;
part of them doesn't want to learn. Or maybe it is just a
simple matter of fear; they fear the unknown. And that is why
some academics become researchers while other become teachers at
Three to four years ago I wrote several letters
in The Lumberjack inviting the students and professors at HSU to
learn things about victims of child abuse and how they (we) have
been affected by abuse. I offered to do two
presentations. One was titled "Survivor Myth, Survivor Image,
Survivor Reality: Seeking the Truth About Victims and Survivors of
Child Abuse" and the other was titled "How I Became a Semantic Wild
Child and a Victim Without a Culture." I provided my e-mail
address in the letters. But not a single student or professor
I have to wonder what Dr. Bruce Perry would say
about this lack of response from university students and professors
who claim to value science and learning. This past year he
published a cutting-edge book with the long title "The Boy Who Was
Raised As A Dog, And Other Stories From A Child Psychiatrist's
Notebook: What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love
and Healing." I wouldn't be surprised if he supported my
theory of academics suffering from a form of dissociation.
Surely, there is a reason why Perry used the
words "what traumatized children can teach us" in his
Every good scientist knows that science is about
challenge, exploration and discovery. But unfortunately, the
students and professors at HSU have the belief that there is no
challenge, there is no need to explore, and there is nothing new to
discover about the effects of child abuse; and there is nothing that
child abuse victims can teach them. So I guess that makes all
of you professors and students at HSU smarter than Dr. Perry.
I suggest that the students and professors in the
social and psychological sciences at HSU write Dr. Perry a letter
and tell him that all of you are a lot smarter than he is, even
though none of you have done the research that he has done, and even
though there is still decades of research that remain in the future;
it is research that is totally dependent on communication between
survivors of child abuse and scientists who want to listen and
Actually, I should thank you students and
professors in the social and psychological sciences at HSU for
helping me to think of a title for one of my books. It will be
titled "Modern Society's Fatal Assumptions about Care and Child
Abuse Victims." You most likely don't even care to learn what
those assumptions are, which is probably why you didn't care to hear
the presentations I offered to give at HSU.
Thanks for helping me to gather material for a chapter on the
subject of ignorance and apathy.
If you are a reader who cares about science and
progress, and would like to comment on ignorance, apathy and fatal
assumptions, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I
would really like to find out if there is anybody at HSU who cares
about science and progress and who understands science and
progress. I wrote those letters a few years ago because I
assumed there were people at HSU who cared about science and
progress. But I was shocked to discover that my assumption was
a false assumption.
A month from now I will write a letter in The
Lumberjack about the e-mail responses I receive, and whether or not
my assumption was really a false assumption.
I would appreciate it if students share this
column with their professors and department chairs. Show your
support for science, research and communication by being part of the
process of challenge, exploration and discovery. Challenge
your professors with this article, and discover what happens.
Guest Editorial in Humboldt State University Lumberjack News 9/5/07
What can a civilized world do for the victims of
People in a civilized world can acknowledge the
wisdom in that question.
People in a civilized world can be empathetic to
enigmatic victims who feel that they are not living in a civilized
world because their world has not responded yet with care and wisdom
to their enigmatic needs and problems.
Citizens in a civilized world can intelligently
investigate the possible need to build retreat-sanctuaries for adult
and adolescent survivors of child abuse.
Citizens in a civilized world can be aware of
what lies at the cutting edges of research, such as Bruce Perry's
book "The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog; And Other Stories From A
Child Psychiatrist's Notebook: What Traumatized Children Can Teach
Us About Loss, Love and Healing."
People in a civilized world can be mindful of
science and how science is about progress, which means that there
will always be phenomena in the present that won't be understood
about human nature until sometime in the future (which explains why
Perry's book was not written 20 years ago, and why 20 years from now
Perry and other researchers will write new books with new
information gained through communication with enigmatic survivors
People in a civilized world can be respectful of
the incredible challenge it is to have needs and problems that
science does not yet comprehend; and respect and honor the enigmatic
victims whose minds are burdened with that inconceivable
Published in the Times-Standard 9/6/07
SOCIETY MUST OPEN EYES TO CHILD
This is the time of year when Nobel prizes are
being awarded. And with that in mind I would like to remind
readers that over these past few years I have mentioned in letters
that it is going to take a Nobel prize-winning type effort to
understand the effects of child abuse. And I believe all
civilized people should know.
It is going to take a Nobel prize-winning type
effort to establish the fact that countless victims of child abuse
are struggling with effects that modern science does not yet
understand because modern science is not yet advanced enough to
understand the dynamics of the mind and the emotions during child
development and lifespan development. And this puts an
inconceivable burden on the minds of many victims who are struggling
with effects that modern social and psychological scientists are not
willing to admit to the public that they don't understand.
Such an admission would threaten their credibility as scientists,
therapists, etc. They would rather have child abuse victims
suffer than to have their own egos suffer. As a result, both
child abuse victims and scientific progress suffer, just because of
some people's dark egos.
There are victims whom I call "the three-times
neglected." They get neglected and abused by their family, and
then they get neglected by the health care system and therapists,
and then they get neglected by society because society is
But society cannot stay ignorant forever.
Wake up, everybody! See the
Published in the Times-Standard 11/7/07
WORDS OFTEN DEFINE OUR EXISTENCE
The Times-Standard editor had the right idea for
suggesting that readers write in messages of thanks for Thanksgiving
Day. I think of the song "Don't it always seem to show that you
don't know what you've got till it's gone...they paved Paradise and
put in a parking lot."
What if all the welcome mats were gone?
What if the word "welcome" was gone from dictionaries in all
What if dictionaries were gone? We wouldn't
be able to look up the word "paradise." There wouldn't be
other words to look up like "male" and "female." And we
wouldn't know that we were in "California."
Without dictionaries we would all lose our
minds. But then we wouldn't know that we lost our minds
because dictionaries wouldn't be able to tell us that we were
And just think, without Greek dictionaries we
wouldn't even know what "Eureka" means.
What about the Sheraton Inn commercials?
What if they were gone? The commercials showed happy people
from all over the world welcoming each other, and voices singing in
the background: "We belong, we belong, we belong..." I'm
thankful for those advertisements.
As a survivor of child abuse I wish people would
think about what it would be like to have your parents tell you that
you don't belong in your body and you don't belong in this
world. And this happens while you are trying to learn words
Blessed be! We survivors belong to the
definition of the word "miracle."
Published in the Times-Standard 12/18/07
VALENTINE'S DAY AND CHILDREN
It's been ten
years since I wrote a letter about having a moment of silence each
Valentine's Day to think about the question "What happens to
children who aren't really loved?" And I wrote about how
that question was both a scientific question and a spiritual
I have been writing letters about child abuse
in newspapers because people don't know the answer to the
question. The answer is that the question is indeed both a
spiritual question and a scientific question, and it is going to
take a Nobel prize-winning type effort, and billions of dollars of
research funds to answer the question.
But most of all it takes an effort that has
love and passion behind it: love for children, love for science,
passion for discovery, and love for the truth.
But love is not a lie, love is not an illusion;
and deception and illusions are not a part of love.
As a journalist I am dedicated to truth; not
fiction and not illusion. That means that I am going to
continue to write about the truth, in newspapers and in books,
about how we child abuse survivors have to survive in a world that
doesn't know what love is, what passion is, and what empathy
is. If the world had any of those, then people would have
done much more for the victims long ago, rather than cling to
stupid and harmful illusions.
On Valentine's Day I feel shame for this
world. But that can change.
Published in the Times-Standard 2/15/08
LET GOOD SCIENCE FLOW FORWARD
Futurist Arthur C. Clarke, author of “2001: A
Space Odyssey,” died recently and had the following words
inscribed on his tombstone: "Here lies Arthur C. Clarke. He
never grew up and never stopped growing."
I have to wonder how many teachers, professors
and preachers don't comprehend the meaning of those words. I
especially think of academics and professionals in the social and
psychological sciences who have the illusion of being “grown up.”
Child abuse victims know things about pain and
being human that they don't know. Will the future world be
ready to learn and understand more about children, souls, and laws
of nature and healing?
Clarke once said: "When a distinguished but
elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost
certainly right. When he states that something is
impossible, he is very probably wrong." Four years ago I
tried to share that very quote with academics at HSU, but
apparently none of them thought it was possible for there to be
enigmatic victims of child abuse such as a "semantic wild child"
who became a "victim without a culture."
I hope the rest of the north coast doesn't feel
that way, for the only way I can ever feel properly welcomed is to
be welcomed for what I am, and to be understood, accepted and
healed for what I am.
Remember, science is about challenge,
exploration and discovery. And science is dedicated to
discovering the mysteries and laws of nature and healing.
Let good science flow forward.
Published in the Times-Standard 4/3/08
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DALAI LAMA
The other day I went into Moonrise Herbs for a
salad. I saw a little round table with Dalai Lama books on
it and an envelope with the words "Happy Birthday Dalai Lama, July
Just a month ago I read my first Dalai Lama
book: "The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science
I didn't know his birthday was so close to July
4th, the birthday of a nation. I find it more natural to
celebrate people's birthdays than to celebrate nations'
On this Dalai Lama birthday I would like to
make an important announcement to Buddhists and other
Sometime in the next twenty years the North
Coast is going to become world headquarters for two international
organizations related to child abuse research. One is a
world honor society for adult and adolescent victims and
survivors, and the other is a research and fundraising
organization to support good science flowing forward.
We will have a religious committee, a science
committee and communication committee (journalism and
media). All religious people will be invited as long as they
don’t bash other people's religions.
We will converge our energies to heal violence,
rather than support violence.
Published in the Times-Standard 7/17/08
I recently had the words "Small
Potatoes" printed on the front of a t-shirt.
Those words are the title to one of the chapters of a book I am
writing about meaning acquisition and communication during child
development and throughout lifespan development (what we learn
about meaning and communication never ends).
And since what I say on the opening page of the chapter “Small
Potatoes” is going to be read by people all over the world, I
figure that it should be readable to readers of the
Times-Standard, and maybe perhaps they can respond with comments
on the T-S website. And Halloween turns out to be the best
time of year to share this because Halloween is related to fear,
death and culture.
My father used to call me “little squirt” many times, and my
mother would often say “bless your little heart” when I was
about three years old. But that was after I inadvertently
terrified them because I was gifted as a child and said things
and did things that they didn’t understand. And those were
things that their own cultural background interpreted as being
“evil.” So, they ended up literally trying to beat the
“Devil” out of me.
Considering how some cultures look upon Americans as being
“Satanists” I think that my story is relevant and that people
should not take for granted how culturally constructed meaning
has affected people, communication and world history.
Fear causes people to condemn and belittle the very objects of
Published in the Times-Standard 10/30/08
In the April
9th Times-Standard there was a story about the
astrophysicist Martin Rees winning the $1.6 Million
Templeton Prize for religion.
Rees once stated that "The main aim of
science is to take steps toward answering the big
As a survivor of mental, emotional and
verbal child abuse I have to believe that someday someone,
or a group of people, are going to win the Templeton Prize
and the Nobel Prize for addressing the question "What does
the mind do to heal itself?"
Can you imagine a society or culture that
never even bothered to think about what the mind does to
heal itself and think about the scientific and spiritual
significance of that question?
I would rather not think about how dark a
world that would be. Instead, I have decided to live
in a bright world, rather than a dark world. And I
will be asking people all over the world to make that
decision with me when I become founder of a world honor
society for adult and adolescent victims and survivors of
And we will ask all good people
throughout the world to help us build an internationally
funded university to research what the mind does to heal
itself. And those will be the people who can think in
terms of Templeton Prizes and Nobel Prizes, and making the
world a saner and more caring place.
Naturally it's going to take time; maybe
But minds, emotions and lifetimes are
Published in the Times-Standard 7/2/11
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
imagine a new university on the North Coast? Anything
is possible in the minds of creative, enlightened
The university I have in mind would be
funded internationally and would be titled "The
International University of Religion, Empathy and
Science." And it would deal with any and all subjects
that are related to any two of the topics, or all three
topics that make up the title of the university.
There would be various schools or
colleges located on campus. For example, there would
be a "College of Native Peoples and Cultures," a "College of
Eastern Religions," a "College of Western Religions," and
there would even be a college and/or club for
atheists. Of course, there will be a "College of
Philosophy, Science and Critical Thinking."
And when it comes to the social and
psychological sciences, the university will view the
discipline of communication (which includes semantics and
other related topics) as the master discipline of those
sciences. One of the many diverse goals of the
university would be to lead the world in research on child
development and lifespan development. We also hope to
lead the world in research pertaining to what the mind does
to heal itself.
Presently I am writing a book about
semantic acquisition during child development and throughout
lifespan development. It will be one of the many
topics researched at the university.
I hope to write about this university
someday in my book titled "I Can Think About Meaning,
Therefore I Am."
Published in the Times-Standard 9/16/11
MUSIC DOESN'T MAKE A HOME A
an open letter to Madonna and all other musicians,
including Grammy winners.
Madonna ended her Superbowl halftime
show singing the words "feels like home." I hope
that all musicians someday realize that the word "home"
has nothing to do with music.
I am a child abuse survivor who grew
up in a musical family, and I am writing a book titled
"I Can Think About Meaning, Therefore I Am" and I know
from experience that music doesn't make a home.
Music didn't make a home a home when
my father played his gypsy violin, and music didn't make
a home a home when my mother lip-synced Rosemary Clooney
singing "Come on to my house, to my house, I'm a gonna
give you everything."
Music didn't make a home a home when
I lived in a house on Idlewild Way in San Diego and my
oldest brother was the leader of a band named the
Ramblers and held band practice in our house with a new
band member named Frank Zappa.
Popularity doesn't make a home,
either. Nor does money.
I think of the song "Country Roads"
by John Denver: "I hear her voice...the radio reminds me
of my home far away."
For child abuse victims who were
abused in musical families, the radio only reminds us of
growing up in an environment where there was music and
When musicians read my book, they
won't feel like making music and dancing. They'll
feel like crying, instead.
Published in the Times-Standard 2/15/12
CHILDREN UNDER THE SUN
(this letter makes a
reference to the annular solar eclipse over the
North Coast on 5/20/12)
May 20th I saw something in newsprint that was just
as interesting as what I saw that day up in the sky
on the other side of the clouds.
It was the words in print:
"Creating and Enjoying Welcoming Spaces." It
was a Times-Standard article about children's books
at our county library related to creating welcoming
spaces for nature and critters outside and around
However, I couldn't help but
think of creating welcoming spaces for children
inside their homes. Can you imagine someone
trying to teach a child about creating and enjoying
welcoming spaces for nature and critters outside the
home if the child was never welcomed and enjoyed
inside the home?
Not very many people can imagine
it. And the only people who can really talk
about it (as difficult as it may be) are the
children who have experienced it.
And if it weren't for the
children and survivors who talk about it, people
wouldn't really know about all of the dark things
that can happen under the sun.
Lots of books have been written
about dark things happening to children. I
myself, am in the process of writing such a book
titled "I Can Think About Meaning, Therefore I
This year a new book was
published titled "Childism: Confronting Prejudice
Against Children" by Elisabeth Young-Bruehl.
People who read her book will be
closer to being ready to reading my book about the
darkest things that can happen to the children under
Published in the Times-Standard 6/5/12
ART THAT SHOULD BE
First I saw it on the worldwide web, then in the
7/15 Times-Standard and then I saw it on PBS
"History Detectives." It was the big story
of Bob Dylan's electric guitar.
So, what's so big and
important about Bob Dylan's electric
What's so great about
guitars, music and fame?
My two older brothers played
guitars. One of them played with Frank
Zappa. I remember being
10 years old when I heard "Johnny B. Goode" on
the radio: "He could play the guitar just like a
ringin' a bell."
But what do grownups know
about children ringing bells?
I wrote a letter recently
(6/5) that mentioned the book "Childism:
Confronting Prejudice Against Children." I
was just a dumb little 10 year old who could
only ring bells while my two big brothers wanted
to be like Johnny B. Goode: "someday you will be
a man and you will be the leader of a big old
band...your name will be in lights..."
I never grew "up" the way
And now I have two little
bells that I ring every morning. One I
found at Tailwaggers Thrift Shop: it’s a copper
bell with the Seattle Space Needle as the
handle. The other is a brass bell I
purchased at the Clarke Museum; its handle is
made of local giant redwoods.
I also have a temple bell,
for my "Temple of Survivor Art" for art made by
survivors of child abuse.
Our art is priceless and
should be in temples.
Published in the Times-Standard 7/25/12
Thanks to Tim Martin in his My Word column
on November 11th for reminding us,
especially this time of year, to praise
On Thanksgiving Day I
have always been thankful for the mature
women that I have either met or read about,
including Native American women, Buddhist
women, and women who practice the Wiccan
I also want to give
praise to President Jimmy Carter's wife,
Rosalynn Carter, for writing the book on
American mental health titled "Within Our
Reach: Ending the Mental Health Crisis"
which begins with the chapter "Stigma,
Prejudice and Discrimination." And
later in the book she mentions cultural
differences, and she mentions people in
Cambodia and how normal it is for them to
talk to their dead ancestors every
Her comment about the
Cambodians also makes me think of the book
titled "Grandmothers of the Light: A
Medicine Woman's Source Book" written by
Native American Paula Gunn Allen.
But you don't have to be
a Native American to talk to the
grandmothers of the light because the
grandmothers of the light are way above and
beyond cultural differences.
I'm thankful that there
is somebody "out there" who is above and
beyond cultural differences. And I'm
glad that I can talk to them anytime I
Published in the Times-Standard 11/15/12
BEAUTIFUL, SOMETHING BRIGHT
I am celebrating the Winter Solstice and
the dawning of a new era by creating a
new university that will bring a lot of
light to this world.
The university will
be titled The International University
of Religion, Empathy and Science and it
will have separately funded and
separately founded colleges on campus
including a College of Eastern
Religions, a College of Western
Religions, a College of Philosophy,
Science and Critical Thinking, a College
of Native Peoples and Cultures, and a
College of Atheism and
I wrote about this
university in a letter to the
Times-Standard on September 16, 2011. A
copy of the letter can be read at
We will be searching
for the most intelligent people in the
world, including the most intelligent
philanthropists in the world, to help us
build this university here on the North
Coast and change the economy of the
North Coast forever.
I will give out
further information only to the people
who have the guts and inspiration that
it takes to build the most beautiful and
intelligent university in the world by
creating and maintaining a website that
seeks out the most intelligent people in
If you have the guts
and the inspiration, and want to be part
of something beautiful and something
bright, then please write me at PO Box
6301, Eureka 95502.
Published in the Times-Standard 12/30/12
HOPE, SPRING AND
I pray and
meditate in private. I
especially like to pray and meditate
when I'm taking a shower. And
where my prayers and meditations
take me, while under a shower, is to
a place far beyond city governments,
state governments and national
governments. It also takes me
beyond cultures and beyond
culturally constructed calendars and
there’s no law that says everyone
has to pray in showers! Can
you imagine a government that says
everyone has to pray when under
But I think
atheists should give it some
thought. I don't necessarily
mean prayer! I mean being in
showers and thinking about deep
things like beauty and how beauty
transcends all governments and
cultures. And that includes
the beauty of science, which studies
I am the founder
of the future International
University of Religion, Empathy and
beautiful indoor showers and outdoor
fountains located on an
international campus that invites
both atheists and religious people
to research and apply empathy to
every social issue confronting
and billions of religious people
around the world will love us.
And millions of international
tourists will want to visit the
campus of the most intelligent and
beautiful university on Earth,
because it represents the beauty and
will be a hope that springs eternal,
and the most refreshing news
And this hope
will inevitably begin anytime,
anyplace, anywhere people want to
people will make it happen.
Sent to Eureka Timss-Standard on
3/17/13. Sent again about 6
weeks later. Never
THAN ROCK 'N' ROLL
letter was published in the
North Coast Journal in response
to two articles that Barry Evans
wrote about pertaining to the
new "Psychiatric Bible" (the DSM
V Diagnostical Statistical
Manual 5) and appeared under
"Brain Busters" in the letters
of The Journal on 7/4/13
have been psychologically
diagnosed by other-worldly
beings, and they have diagnosed
me as fitting into the WTRNR
category. That means
"Wilder Than Rock 'N'
Roll." Treatment and
"recovery" are out of the
I was born
wilder than rock 'n' roll.
And my older siblings tried to
make me "normal" by listening to
rock 'n' roll, but it never
I wasn't born
normal. And I never became
normal by the time I was 15
years old, when I saw "The Outer
Limits" episode "The Galaxy
Being" on television in
1963. I was beyond reach
of psychiatrists after
I publish my book titled "I Can
Think About Meaning, Therefore I
Am" I will be adopted by native
tribes around the world.
And they will nickname me "Chief
Wilder Than Rock 'n'
Roll." And all the natives
are going to laugh every time
they hear my name. They'll
be laughing at all the people
who want to be "normal" and be
part of "the civilized
I hope to
form a world honor society for
adult and adolescent victims and
survivors of child abuse.
Many of us have needs and
problems that require future
research to understand.
Past and present diagnostical
statistical manuals are
When the time
is right I’ll invite people to
help us create, organize and
publicize this world honor
society. Think of Pulitzer
prizes, Nobel prizes and
Templeton prizes. And
honor, respect and protect what
is mysterious and wild in
The North Coast Journal 7/4/13
THOUGHTS ON BREAKFAST
When I want breakfast, I'm
not interested in anyone's
meeting. I just get on
my bicycle and ride down to
The Pantry and order.
have a full stack,
have to be careful when the
waitress brings my pancakes
because when I ask for jelly
they sometimes think I say
"chili" instead of "jelly"
and they look at me like I'm
some kind of wild, crazy
course, we both end up
Published in the Eureka
I can appreciate
computer metaphors for
the brain as mentioned
by Barry Evans in "Rogue
Neurons" (Field Notes,
August 8th), but I also
have a special
because I still
experience the effects
of PTSD from early
And I have learned from
experience that there is
a neural process very
similar to the "System
Restore" application in
took me a long, long
time for me to
understand why I would
have relapses. But
when System Restore
first came out in
Windows XP, I realized
that my brain and
nervous system needed to
go all the way back to
my very early childhood
and start everything all
over again, including
verbal and non-verbal
and being touching,
hugging and being
Perhaps in some ways,
that system restore
process parallels the
theory of rogue
on the other hand, I can
for the brain such as
"the brain as a
some brains, "the brain
as a temple" might sound
in other brains, it
inside some brains,
traditional and modern
science are viewed as
During my healing
process (the "system
restore") I restored the
part of my brain that
could think in
metaphors, and also the
parts of my brain that
meaning. I even
restored the part of my
brain related to
acquisition of a sense
of self (as in the book
"Self Comes to Mind" by
when I restored the
meaning of the word
"science," I realized
that I never had to see
science as something
other than sacred.
brain is a sacred place
("temple") to be
Published in the North
Coast Journal 8/22/13
PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCES
When it comes to
allegiance to a
Sunday October 27
revealed by some of
the books and
magazines that I
have on top of my
One book is titled
"Secret Spaces of
pledge allegiance to
secret spaces of
always have at least
the last six or more
issues of National
on my desktop.
I am a member of the
Society and I pledge
allegiance to the
spirit of the
Society, to their
flag (for which it
stands), and to
logo known all over
also have the photo
book "Sacred Places
of a Lifetime" (too
big for my
alliance to sacred
places of a
Also among my stack
of books and
magazines on my desk
is Carl Sagan's book
World; Science as a
Candle in the
pledge allegiance to
all candles in the
And I pledge
allegiance with all
people who have
their own private
desks with their own
candles and other
magical items on
pledge allegiance to
everyone who wants
to make this world a
better place for
people of all ages
to live in.
Published in the
POSSIBLE ON KEET
I am writing to
comment on both
My Word "Is
and well in
December 4th and
John Chiv’s My
I'm not so sure
if the people
who run the
bigots, and I'm
not so sure if
what I am sure
about is that
anyone who is a
or anyone who
should watch the
in America" that
on KEET2 the
very same days
of the My Words
by Blodgett and
that was just
I have always
with the word
When I was ten
years old I
read a book
In the section
on ships and
streets of his
how to test
crown to see
if it was pure
came (as the
own body in
I'm glad I
Perhaps it had
on me when I
and found that
I had an
gift for the
there is more
At the age of
ten I didn't
know that my
a part of
And it took me
my verbal and
also been born
Now I see
such as the
place where I
first read the
Point in San
Diego, and not
DAYS PAST AND
The recent story
of the Wiyot
Ceremony is much
more than just
about a culture
and its own
It's also about
how human beings
Their story is
part of an
of how human
is a story that
and the most
And the question
of how human
beings heal is
also part of the
question of what
makes all of us
the more we
learn about what
beings will be
which in turn
will lead to
I believe that
the very future
of the social
going to gain
past when we
tried to define
The truth is
that we just
might all become
origins and our
more about how
we got from
"Point A" to
Nobel Prizes and
are going to be
awarded in the
future to those
who do a totally
of how human
Published in the
COSMOS WE NEED
I have a major
Why did it
should be on
until there is
than just the
cosmos that we
cosmos of the
and the cosmos
of the mind
We should live
in a world of
just about the
also about the
Years ago I
and science in
because I was
born adept in
the nature of
But I had to
because of the
Years later I
tried to go
major in the
I ended up
shocked by the
In the recent
(take no one's
word for it;
find out for
So, what about
Published in the Eureka Times-Standard
this link: A Note (to all
brains) about "Lame Brains"
THE DARKSIDE OF
SPANKINGS, AND SOMETHING POSITIVE
Some people say that
being spanked as a child has made them
into a "better person." Here's my
side of the story.
There is the
light. And there is the
I remember when my
parents threatened to "beat the living
daylights" out of me. But it
turned out that my parents and my older
siblings (who had also received
spankings) never really shared the
daylights (sunlight) or the nightlights
(moonlight and starlight) with me.
And the more I grew
up, the more I realized that they had
never really learned how to share the
living daylights and the living
nightlights with anybody; not even with
I disinherited them
and legally changed my name to something
I had a really dark
childhood in San Diego County.
When I left that area I tried to think
of the most positive experience I had
there. And that was all of the
different people from all over the
world, young and old, male and female,
religious and atheist, taking the
journey up to Mt. Palomar to see what
was then the most powerful telescope in
Now I live in a place
where people have taken the journey to
see and cherish the tallest living
things in the world.
Published in the Eureka Times-Standard
A GOOD HOST DOESN'T
SAY "LEAVE THE ROOM"
Here are my
thoughts about the two letters in
the Times-Standard (November 11 and
12) regarding "If you don't like
prayer, leave the room."
I live in a small
studio cottage, and I am a very
private person. I won't even
let people into my private
studio. I let them into the
kitchen only and keep the door to my
studio closed, so that nobody can
look inside my private little
However, if I
were rich (and famous) and had an
estate, I would have a huge mansion
with lots of rooms, some private,
some public. And I would have
a special large room that I would
invite people into. But I
would never ever invite a lot of
people into that one room and then
ask some of them to leave for awhile
and then come back.
What kind of host
would I be if I did that?
Certainly not a good one!
Can you imagine
being in a public place like a
public library, or a public business
like a restaurant, a barbershop, a
beauty salon, toy store, thrift
store, a grocery store, a movie
theater, a newspaper office, or a
museum like the Clarke Museum or the
Discovery Museum, and some people
walk in and start praying and ask
others to leave while they
Years ago I was
campground host at Jedediah Smith
Redwoods State Park. Can you
imagine the host asking some campers
to leave the campground while he and
Published in the Eureka
THE NIGHT AT THE
HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE MUSEUM
invocations and benedictions at
pancake breakfasts and city
council meetings. I can
think of way better
in 1982. That was the year
of "Poltergeist," "E.T.", "The
Dark Crystal," "Blade Runner,"
"Gandhi" and "Timerider."
But this took place in the
advertised in the Del Norte
Triplicate newspaper: "Haunted
Lighthouse Museum, Halloween
night!" The Del Norte
Historical Society invited the
community to dress up in their
Halloween costumes and cross the
isthmus to Battery Point Island
at low tide to tour the "haunted
lighthouse." The island
was known for being
So, I went
there and crossed the little
isthmus as the full moon rose at
sunset. The main
attraction that everyone was
curious about was at the top of
the spiral staircase that led to
the lighthouse lens. But
only one person could walk up
there at a time.
And that was
when it happened! It was a
blessing that cannot compare
with any other; and I've never
needed any other blessings since
it! That was
everything! And I didn't
have to eat any pancakes, or
hear any "special" words.
Halloween night with the vast
sea, the cool wind, the full
moon at sunset, people crossing
a dark isthmus with flashlights,
and a witch at the top of a
spiral staircase, was
I was blessed
and honored by ancient and
mysterious spirits haunting a
Redwood Coast island and
autumn night was way beyond
Published in the Eureka
AND EMPATHY FOR CHILD ABUSE
February I always think
about what it means to love
child abuse victims and
survivors for I am writing a
book titled "I Can Think
About Meaning, Therefore I
Am" which will also be the
book that will launch a
world honor society for
adult and adolescent victims
and survivors. Our
motto will be "Honor and
protect the natural healing
love as in care and
healing. The people
who really love us are those
who care to discover,
through observation and
research, what the natural
healing process is.
They are also the people who
will listen to survivors
when they chronicle their
stories about what heals
them and what
are some people who aren't
interested in discovering
anything about what heals
and what fails, because they
think they already know
everything about child
development, and human
there to discover when you
it comes to what it means to
love child abuse
victims, we in the
world honor society want the
world to know that the
people who really love us
are the people who accept
the learning process of
discovery and research, and
people who support discovery
and scientific research, and
who honor the victims as
they share their life
stories about what heals
them and what fails.
in our motto. And love
works through our motto, for
us and humanity.
honor and empathy, for us!
Published in the Eureka
ETERNAL SPRINGTIME FOR
CHILD ABUSE VICTIMS
Someday in the future an
announcement will be
made to the world about
the birth of a world
honor society for adult
and adolescent victims
and survivors of child
will have a science and
committee, a religious
committee, and other
science and critical
thinking committee will
be making friends with
all over the world,
because our purpose is
to remind the world that
there are victims of
child abuse whose needs
and problems require
future research to
understand, rather than
past research, and that
future research is also
needed to understand
normal child development
religious committee will
give birth to the
Temple of Survivor Art
and Convalescence, which
includes all of the
private and personal
spaces and dwellings of
personal temples), as
well as main temples in
temples will cause
atheists, to think about
the semantics of the
we will have a committee
for atheists because our
world honor society
honors all victims of
child abuse, including
those who have found
healing and sanity in
day our organization is
born will be "day one"
of our eternal
springtime; from out of
the darkness (ignorance)
and into the light
what science discovers
through our endeavor
will empower everyone,
people, with a better
understanding of child
empathy and human
Published in the Eureka
IS TO SAY THAT
ANYONE'S MORE SACRED?
enjoyed reading Tim
April 19th) about
think it all comes
down to semantics,
including the word
is to say that
others aren't just
as sacred as anybody
else when they
Who's making up the
rules for word
few years back I
read a North Coast
Journal article ("A
August 19, 2010)
that was about Yurok
artifacts, and it
mentioned how a wild
ginger root was used
to talk to the
believed that the
five regular solids
couple of years ago
I purchased a small
dodecahedron at the
Lost Coast Gem and
The woman who sold
it to me suggested
that I attach it to
the top of my
walking staff that I
had at the
time. I did
that for awhile, but
then I didn't need
anymore. So, I
put it in a little
black velvet pouch
that I attached to
my belt; nobody can
can walk into any
kind of assembly of
people and nobody
can see my
math and science
rallies, Eureka city
Published in the
DOES A CELIBATE ON
A BICYCLE LOOK
mean they would
be able to
My bicycle gets
But I'm not
all of the
when I ride on
Park and the
The very shape
of my bicycle is
have to admit,
it really is
It is like
has this long
sleek look that
makes you think
because it is a
that is longer
then there are
the "Easy Rider"
What also gets
attention is the
Just behind my
body and above
the rear tire is
a tall flagpole
with an orange
flag at the top
pinwheel are 5
has seen in
camps on Mt.
But people don't
see a celibate
I bet it's
don't know what
But when it
do I have?
Just my bicycle,
friends, just my
And, poetry in
Published in the
I am writing
up plans and
We are going
to have lots
give birth to
that will be
are going to
society has an
thinking to be
part of the
Some of our
will be a mass
to inform the
and an angel
We're going to
CAPITAL OF THE
After the Pope
ever be a pope
who will visit
capital of the
Here on the
No, this is no
here on the
Listen up, you
past years I
In time it
world, and be
and a College
of Atheism and
have a College
a very special
year, which in
Capital of the
No, I don't
myself to be a
I'm just a
people will be
And we will
visit and give
this link for more
information on the International
University of Religion, Empathy and