Dear,

Greetings of your most pardonable honors I beg, and please pardon surprise of this letter. I am Dr. Salad Nebachaschneezer from the republican of Toga. I am writing you to regard a most urgent matter of which I must be assisted.

I am solo survivor of bazaar gardening accident to which my wife and both children were tragically lost by killer tomatoes. I then discover that tomato seeds were put in garden by people of United Arab Lesbian Font for the Liberation of Antarctica (UALFLA). When these grew, this happen. I was too attacked, but managed flee with my car, in which I had new windshield wipers probably save my life.

The UALFLA seek to steal my late wife's holdings of diamond fossils found in martian meteor in Antarctica. This meteor was delivered to Toga government in UFO by Elvis Presley. But because of that it now sing 'all shook up' all the time and government decide they no want it anymore. So they sell it to wife for very little money, just glad to get rid of it. My wife figure out how to stop song by feeding it large pizzas, banana peanut butter sandwiches and drugs. Meteor is now much bigger and probably worth much more money, but my wife was unable to sell it and UALFLA try to take it away then.

It is at this pointed urgent that must request for your help. My Toga government officials says that they have to have other person broker sale of meteor so that I can get my money. The meteor appraiser tell me that this meteor with diamond fossils intact, is worth 20M. He also say that fossil he find of blue suede shoe make it possibly worth more. If you can help with this that I am willing to give 25% of the earnings of sale. I therefore ask your confidentiality in assisting with this, because the UALFLA will be watching.

So too assist in this venture, please reply with all your credit card numbers with expiration date and billing addresses, so I can establish credibility with you, and send documentation for brokering of sale of meteor.

I insist your involvement should you help me, will be well protested, from the UALFLA and also, this business, proposal is 100% risk free as the sale will be made through the legal procedures of the repugnant of Toga. In this meantime, the meteor is well protected as I have put it in garden with the killer tomatoes. The UALFLA does not know the song to play that keeps these tomato from attacking.

You credit be watchword throughout this translation and your prompt reply will be highly appreciated. Thank you for your attempted cooperation while we look forward to a mutually benefiting business relationship with you.

All Shook Up,
Dr. Salad Nebachaschneezer