There’s A Mouse In My House!

            Actually, there are nine mice in my house, and there’s nothing the good folks at Terminix can do about it.  I’m talking about computer mice, those ubiquitous pig-tailed gizmos attached to most every computer.  When I counted up the mice I owned, I realized that I had become something of a collector and connoisseur of pointing devices.  I remind myself of the character portrayed by Greg Kinnear in the movie “You’ve Got Mail”.  He’s just brought home another IBM Selectric typewriter because he has a unique appreciation for its sweet mechanical sounds.  In a similar manner, I seem to collect these mice because I like the way they feel, the way they look, the way they function, or simply because I can’t pass up a great bargain (free after rebate!). 

            I’m guessing you probably don’t think much about your mouse.  It’s probably because a.) it’s not causing you any grief at the current time, and  b.) you have a life.  But consider that our computers only know us through the tactile relationships we form through our keyboard and mouse.   Shouldn’t we be using the mouse we find most comfortable and effective?  There’s nothing that says we’re compelled to only use the mouse that came with our computers.

So what choices are there?  Consider the following:

Interface (plug style):  Serial, PS/2, or USB.  Computer makers keep changing the way mice connect to computers to insure that our machines continue to become obsolete.  Serial mice are the old variety, recognizable by their D-shaped connector.  Despite their name, do not pour milk on them.  Bad things will happen.  Serial mice are strictly for old PCs.  Newer machines use either PS/2 or USB connectors.  PS/2 mice have small round connectors.  USB connectors look like they’re made to slide onto one of John Elway’s front teeth.

Besides the issue of three different connectors, you can choose from:  wired vs. cordless, ball mouse versus optical, button arrangement (anywhere from 2 to 5), scroll wheel or not, and trackball versus a typical roller mouse.  It may actually be easier to order coffee at Starbucks than it is to choose a mouse!  I also have a preference for a mouse that looks like it will do minimal damage when propelled into a wall at high speed, for those times when the computer decides to lock up about 8 seconds before I was intending to press the Save icon for that long document I’d just completed.  There is a reason they inserted the word ‘cursor’ into the computer lexicon, you know.

I’m not terribly enamored with cordless mice.  They have to contain a battery and transmitting circuitry.  I’m sure many people have them and love them, but for me they’re just too heavy, and it’s one more thing to go wrong.  Similarly, trackballs have their devotees, but I could never get the hang of using one.  A trackball is a stationary pointing device with one moving part – a marble which your thumb spins, causing that aforementioned cursor to move about on screen.  A trackball makes good sense where your workspace is limited.  Trackball users are identifiable by their unusually well-muscled thumbs.

A state of the art mouse would probably be a USB optical mouse with scroll wheel.  Optical mice lack the little rolling ball on their underside.  Instead, they rely on a laser which is able to track movement on a variety of surfaces.  This results in a big advantage over the roller mouse; the internal rollers which the usual rubber ball spins up against tend to accumulate toe jam, and then the mouse becomes erratic.  An optical mouse is a sealed unit with no moving parts, so it is impervious to dust and dirt.  It’s a good application in a home with shedding pets and balding men.

My most recent mouse acquisition came via eBay, the on-line auction site.  I used to use (and still have) the second generation Logitech MouseMan 3-button mouse which I still say was the most comfortable mouse ever made.  But my old MouseMan lacked a scroll wheel, something I’ve come to really appreciate.  The Mouseman wheel mice of that era (circa 1999) are no longer sold, and they infrequently appear on eBay.  So when I found a supposedly brand new one being offered, I had to have it.  Never mind the fact that I am thoroughly pleased with my Evoluent Vertical Mouse, and have no plans to stop using it.  I got into a bidding war with another fellow, and it soon became apparent that it was no longer about the mouse, only about winning the bid regardless of price.  Suffice to say that I won the bid, and the mouse sits happily in my closet, a trophy to stupidity and obsession.  But it is a very nice mouse, and if I ever use it, I’m sure I will be very pleased with it.

So think about your mouse, if ever so briefly, and if you decide it’s time to upgrade, call me before running off to Staples.  I may have a slightly used version of exactly what you’re looking for…. if I can bear to part with it.