Thoughts/Journal/Prayers

8/20/09 Variety of things

8/14/09 Turkey

I had a lot of fun with friends at Turkey and I was really sad to once again say goodbye until next year. But even more important I learned and was reinvigorated about God. Multiple speakers spoke about addictions and it really spoke to my heart. The definition most people believe about addiction is just a small portion of what the definition is. Addiction for example could be addiction for cokes. Little things that we don’t really view as addictions. We hypothesized that God doesn’t judge addictions differently. He views “little” and “big” addictions the same. They are all sins. So we shouldn’t judge other people for their addictions. We shouldn’t be looking to criticize others about their addictions. Look in our own lives and I’m sure we can find multiple addictions if we really thought about it. Well anyways our main speaker was really enthusiastic and his message was powerful. He encouraged and strengthened my resolve to conquer all my addictions once and for all. We can’t do it alone (I know I’ve tried). We need God’s help if we ever are to succeed. That requires prayer, Bible reading, and asking him what his will is daily. If you fail again as I have so many times don’t be discouraged and give up. Don’t be ashamed and not talk to God. That would be the worst thing to do. Go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness and for the strength to succeed in the future. But we can’t just rely on God to do it all. We can’t blame him when we fail. Who is making the decision? Whose fault is it really? God’s great gift to us is free will. We have to have the resolve to push through the hard times. The times when it is really a big temptation. When those times come upon us don’t be apathetic, do something about it. Fight back, go on the offensive! Get on your knees immediately, pray to God to deliver you. Ask for his guiding hand and for him to send Satan away. Another way to be on the offensive is to be wise in your actions. Don’t do something that you know will tempt you. Do things that are pleasing to the Lord. One area of our lives affects the others more than we could imagine. Be prepared for the Devil, don’t be delusional into thinking that once we ask God for strength then the temptation will magically disappear and we won’t be tempted anymore. Just remember that God cares for you. He loves you more than we can comprehend. He wants you to succeed! I pray for us all that we will fight off the demons that plague us and overcome our addictions. Once we do that our relationship with God will be greatly strengthened and will become much more unhindered. Thanks to all the speakers at Turkey for these thoughts I am echoing.

7/6/09 thoughts

Last Night I had a good long talk with my Mom about a lot of things. I love my parents! I can come to them anytime I need and they're there for me. I've come to yet another crossroads in my life and I need to make a decision soon but I have no idea what to do. I came to Frenship to play basketball and so far that hasn't worked out very well. I'm wondering if I should move on and go to a different school or stay and see what God has planned for me. Basketball is a big part of my life but I wonder if I could be doing other more worthwhile things with my time. But my Mom made a good point last night that I need to always have some sort of physical activity and I've worked really hard in basketball to get to this point. My parents want to see my hard work pay off. I don't know what to do. :( I really don't like change and there are some really cool people at frenship but I wonder if I might be happier at Lubbock Christian. Hopefully it’s a better and more positive environment where I can have a better relationship with God. I'm just wondering and praying. Please pray for me.

7/1/09 Prayer

God thank you for your tireless efforts to win our hearts you have exceeded with some I deemed impossible. Your wonders never cease to amaze. Please may my love to never fade for you God. Please help me be a light in the dark .Thank you for free reflective summer days. Please help me not to neglect you Lord. I need you so much; my life would be pointless without you. Only you know how black the world would be without you. Some try to claim that you’re not possible because of the blackness. But I know the truth that this world would be dark all over without you. Please help my writing to come from you God. Help me to write your ways, not mine. Amen!

6/7/09 New Mexico weekend with family

I sit here this afternoon in my seat on the mountain surveying God's handiwork. The river roars below me, birds sing all around me, the cool, and fresh breeze combines with the bright sun to feel just right. There is no place I'd rather be right now, nor a place more peaceful than in the mountains. The only thing I regret is you not being here to share this with me. The clouds roll lazily across the sky close above my head while tall skinny cedars sway behind me. Bible in my lap, coming off of Summer Excitement week I feel closer to God than ever before. Not just mentally by physically closer to the heavens. Perfect place to write, Meditate, listen, and pray to God. This place is a perfect cure to the business/craziness that we go through everyday. This is the closest thing to heaven this world can get.

4/7/09 thoughts

God in the Bible chooses not to try to save the whole people of Earth but just a select few, the Israelites, and then later spread his word. But the Devil like usual comes in and plants lies in their heads. God chose you; everyone else has to be just like you in order for you to be Christians.

3/26/09 thoughts

The Devil was jealous from the beginning; he craved God's power and majesty. Noah must have been so awed by God's power during the flood; God must have seemed closer and more alive than ever at that moment. Imagine the solemn mood as everyone on the ark watched the floods cover everything they'd ever known. What a sense of fear God must have placed on their hearts The Devil was jealous from the beginning; he craved God's power and majesty. Noah must have been so awed by God's power during the flood; God must have seemed closer and more alive than ever at that moment. Imagine the solemn mood as everyone in the ark watched the floods cover everything they'd ever known. What a sense of fear God must have placed on their hearts and the desire to do good. I can only imagine.

3/26/09 Prayer

Dear God help me to overcome my sins and that you would empower me Lord. Thank you for all my many blessings, Please help me not to take them for granted. Please help me to be focused on school and you throughout the day Lord. Please help me to become more engaging and less self centered. Pleas help every teen to mature and come to know you personally. Please help me to become a revolutionary and change the world positively. Please help me to not be lazy and do the little good things. Please help me to ask questions and empower me with your spirit. Please help me to know that your with me every second of the day. Reveal yourself to me. Thank you for being God. Please help me to have a conscience and not succumb unto peer pressure. Please help me to have faith and patience that you will do what's best for me. In your name, Amen.

1/20/09 Journal

So much swirling in my head tonight I feel I just have to let some of it out. I'm just thinking about my future and career. I just got a very encouraging critique from a writer. I just imagine myself in another place and time. I wouldn't play sports and my focus would be on writing, reading, nerdy stuff like that. I think I would make a good nerd. I know I'm really smart but I struggle on how to use it everyday. I know I can come up with something brilliant in school but I'm too lazy. I struggle how to balance myself on reality and my mind. So many ideas and thoughts. Maybe that's what won't let me sleep, my brilliantness haha. I don't know if I want to be an engineer, when I grow up. I like math, but I don't know if I would like it enough to do everyday. I love reading and writing. I love to read anytime i can and I want to write. But I don't know how much I should focus on that because the sings point to the end of the world pretty soon. In another time and place. What could have been...I am coming to realize that writing as a side job, there won't be much time to write. What could have been...

8/27/08 Thanksgiving

Thank you so much for SE and the people in it for helping me come to the realization that, my problems are little compared to most teens. Thank you for giving m intelligence and a great family. Thank you for my sports skills and always loving and forgiving me. Thank you for My Dad's wisdom and understanding. Thank you for letting me go to Colorado. Thank you for helping me come to the realization that I need to spend more quiet time with you.

8/20/08 Prayer

Dear Lord help me put forth the energy to give m all in everything I do. Please help me to mature spiritually and mentally. Give me the understanding to help people in my school come to know you better. Please help me to not do anything that would hurt the name of Christ.

8/8/08 Journal

ilderness Trek really helped my relationship with God. But it's hard to keep that level of intimacy when you have a recurring sin and you won't stop. It hinders your developing relationship with God. It’s so hard but I know I just have buckle down, stop doing it. I have a secret fear, fear of going to college. Fear of when I have kids. Fear of being unprepared, inadequate, immature. I'm afraid that I'm not ready for all this Responsibility yet. I don't want it. I just want to live in my own little world of friends, basketball, reading and computer. I'm afraid of my time being taken up by responsibilities. I know it's all apart of growing up but growing up seems mundane, boring. Going to your job everyday that you probably don't like. Coming home, even then no time for yourself. I know God has some big plan for me when I grow up (as being a leader of some kind) and I welcome that. It's just all the things in between that I dread. I've read Rosenburg books about God coming soon, maybe even within my lifetime. I sort of look forward to that. I can't picture myself being old and dying normally (although I'm sure my thinking is not original. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I love Math but also English. I'm not sure I have the discipline and study skills to become an engineer like my Dad and I don't know if I'd enjoy it as much as being a Literature professor (or another English job.) I know for sure I want to write books. When I'm older, maybe when I retire. I know I'm selfish, I've always been selfish although I've gotten much better than when I was a little kid. I pray to God that he would help transform myself into a selfless person. I also want to read the Bible a lot more and make my relationship with Christ even better.

1/22/08 Journal

Today was...spectacular. I had my fist basketball game. I was so nervous beforehand and barely got any sleep but once I stepped on the court I just played my hardest. I had 12 points and hit the shot to make the game go into overtime and we won the game. The downside however is that I had like 5 turnovers which I will work on next game. But overall I'm fairly satisfied.

07 New Mexico Vacation

Thursday: we drove to Eagle Nest, New Mexico (close to Red River). It took about 6 hours so I took books and cd's. Our cabin was really cool not to mention the scenery. Then we went to Red River. We ate, raced go-carts and went to the candy shop (yum). Then we went back to our cabin and played clue and Egyptian Ratscue. our cabin has 7 beds and extra in the closet. We also rented a jeep for Friday.
Friday: We drove to Red River from Eagle Nest which took about 13 minutes. we got our Jeep and drove on some major rocky/mountain/trail roads. I got some pictures so you see what its like. The scenery was amazing and we saw several deer. I also got some amazing pictures of the Mountains. We drove to cobresco (I probably spelled that wrong) Lake. My dad dared me and my brother to swim across the Lake so we did. (My mom got some pictures of us). The Lake was so cold I started to go numb. That was pretty scary but I made it to the other side first. Then we dried off and went to Red River. We went to an Ice Cream shop and me, my dad, and my brother got three scoops each. There was a Pt Cruiser competition in Red River and we got to see all the awesome cars. We also got some tickets to see a mellow drama. Then we went home and played some cards. we went back too Red River early so that we could eat but we only had time to get appetizers. me and my brother got buffalo wings. they were so spicy they nearly burned my tongue off. Then we saw the melodrama. It was pretty funny. then we went back to the same restaurant and ate real meals. by the time we got back to our house it was 12:00. then we went to sleep.
Saturday: We got up and ate breakfast. Then we played spades (a card game) until 11:00. we ate and lazied around the house until about 4:30. we went to eat but the restaurant part wasn't open until 5:00 so we went into the bar and played pool (yes i said the bar). i beat my brother and then played this other guy. he only beat me by one ball. Then we ate ad went home. we drank hot chocolate and watched the stars when it was dark (it was very relaxing).
Sunday: Today was very eventful unlike yesterday. we ate eggs, bacon and sausage for Breakfast (yum). Then we went to find a certain trail by the roadside, In our suburban. We couldn't find it so we decided just to head straight up the mountain. let me tell you that is a lot more tiring than following a trail but its worth it once you get to the top. we had a devotional and then we headed back down the mountain. then we went home and took showers because we were so dirty. we ate supper and then played spades until Midnight. Then we went to sleep.
Monday:  today we packed and then headed for home.