.: A Little Behind - Dec 25, 2005
I am behind on just about everything right now.
will let you in on a bit of it. I stayed home on a
Monday a few weeks ago, feeling a little puny and also
because my guy was in town. It also happened to be the
same day as the last staff development offered for my
field before the deadline and I needed only two more
hours. The deadline is Dec. 2nd. This Friday! So I
am resolved to going to a staff development or a workday
or something of the sort on the final day of my
Christmas and New Year's break. I will have to give up
Jan. 6th. But I figure since I was with my guy, it was a
pretty good trade off.
I will be off from Dec 23rd through Jan. 5th. My guy
is supposed to leave for a ten day trip right after the
New Year if he decides to spend New Year's here with me
and his family. He had planned on being in CA. I will
have to wait and see how good or bad things work out. It
will be one way or the other. I guess I could take an
accepting, non-judgmental view of it and say it will be
the way it is supposed to be.
I have my fifth graders singing downtown tonight. I
have not even prepared the performance tape. It will
take me an hour or so and I could have worked on
it last night and had it ready to practice
with this morning, but I blew it off. Decided to
say "screw it" at 4:00 and go home. To my empty love
nest. No loving around here 'cept the occassional
scratch on the head of my cat.
The curious thing about being behind is that it's
totally self-inflicted. I had the information. I chose
to ignore the convenience of being prepared and
sacrificing the time yesterday for an
easier today. Some time I am concerned about my
Say for instance: I know I need to exercise or stop
smoking or drink more water and less coffee. But I
continue to do these things or not do these things out
of some kind of defective reward system. My "give a
shit" is quite low.
So, I will begin my day today a half day behind. The
kids will have the performance tape to back them tonight
but they will be singing with it for the first time
and in front of the public. Thank goodness it is
for a community event that will involve the whole
downtown area at the same time. We will only be mostly
observed by parents and the bank employees and customers
of the bank.
I'm also behind on buying Christmas presents. I can't
remember the last time I have found myself this behind.
Is it the relationship? or Myspace? or is it just me
speading my wings in a rebellious fashion?
Anyway, I'll be glad to finish this week with some
semblance of success. I can't imagine it getting much
worse and I hope that God will take mercy on me and
realize I am doing the best I can. At least, I think I
© D. Leeson 2005