.: The Vlogging Series March 17, 2007 - March 17, 2008
These vlogs pertain to personal challenges that I have been working on in preparation of retirement into what the first six months in having no job feels like after thirty years of steady work. Sure, if I had grandchildren or children for that matter, I might have my time easily filled. But this has been a challenge for me because I've resisted the hard work and dedication it takes to change. I retired from teaching, looking for a new career, lost weight, healthier foods, getting out of credit card debt and make a significant reduction in what I owe on my Masters Degree school loan AND the biggie is, I will become a non-smoker.
There has been little interest in this project by the public, but I continue to vlog about my life as much as I can as I battle depression and critical life changes taking place in my 50+ years of existence. I'm writing this intro to these vlogs that I began posting last March, 2007 on You Tube, on the evening of a day that I have mostly slept away. I am not employed and it is the first fall that I have been unemployed in over twenty five years. To say that I feel out of sorts is an understatement. At my age and with my education degrees, there is little else for me to do other than what I have done for most of my life and that is to teach. I won't get into the details as to why that seems so unappealing to me right now; besides there aren't many people that care to know the details anyway. We are all so busy with our own lives that we rarely have time to focus on anyone other than those closest to us. I'm not unique and some would say this project is boring to read about. The joy for teaching music, that was my identity, has left me. I am grasping with the harsh reality that there may not be another opportunity to find another type of work that I love as much as I used to love teaching music. I also realize that my chances for having the love of a decent man is waining. I am beginning to feel finite and know that my time is limited on this earth and there are still so many other things that I desired to do before I die. The pain I have in seeing my parents age is also overwhelming as they will not always be here with me and for me and they have been the only people that have truly loved me in my entire life. my own life. They have been such good parents. I have been so blessed. And I am ashamed for feeling as puny and dejected as I do. Today was an "off, out of kilter" day. I can only hope that tomorrow will be better. Hope and faith must stay alive in my mind and heart, otherwise, what's the point of trying.
.:Vlog #1 March 17, 2007
.: Vlog #2
To begin this year long self-improvement project was daunting as there were so many things wrong in my life. For one, I had let myself gain weight. I was eating foods that I was allergic to, rarely cleaned my apartment and was still using my credit cards like they were cash. I hadn't thought much beyond my impending retirement, that was to take place six weeks from when this vlogging challenge began. And the reason I chose to vlog about my changes was in hopes that it would inspire me to keep going, not give up, and to have a visual memory of my improvements for those days that I was feeling like a failure. I decided to do the easiest thing first and that was to clean my apartment.
.: Vlog #2 March 20, 2007
.: Vlog #3
I continue to clean my apartment and get my retirement papers ready. It's scary for me to be retiring since I have no clue as to what I will be doing after that. I will take a huge cut in pay, going from a 60,000 dollar a year position to my retirement checks that will only pay me 25,000 a year. At this point, I feel as though I can do most anything, but in time, I will find out that this was all just fantasy thinking and that my hopes for doing something other than education are slim to none.
.: Vlog #3 March 21, 2007
.: Vlog #4
This vlog is about paying bills. I started the Dave Ramsey Getting out of Debt program with great enthusiasm. I have since had to use my 1,000 backup to pay for 800.00 repairs on my ten year old Jeep Grand Cherokee. I have only five thousand dollars in my savings account and a meager 20,000 in mutual funds that I have not contributed to since my divorce in 2004. However, at this point, I am enjoying the newness of this vlogging challenge and still have not realized that the "audience" interest in my activism of self-improvement will not be what keeps me motivated in attaining my goals toward success.
.: Vlog #4 March 24, 2007
.: Vlog #5
A wrap up of things accomplished after the first week of my year long self-improvement challenge.
.: Vlog #5 March 28, 2007
.: Vlog #6
April 1, 2007 - I decide to show my second week progress of working on my apartment improvements, but in a whimsical way. I actually have a sense of humor, and this video was my way of making fun of myself and some of the basic things I'm learning about organization.
.: Vlog #6 April 1, 2007
.: Vlog #7
This video is my attempt at being more motivated to exercise. However, this soon dies. I am not motivated to do my floor exercises at all. It takes another three months before that desire begins to change. I start walking as my main way to slim down and get fit later on in August.